IT'S TIME! Handicapping Season 20 of ‘The Bachelor’, Full Contestant Analysis + Podcast
By Rob Perez
TIS THE SEASON, folks…
Whether you’re a fan of the show, hate it, love it, your girlfriend/wife watches it and makes you sit through the 2+ hour telecasts with her … you can’t deny that there is no avoiding this widely-popular reality TV Chinese finger trap.
What I find so fascinating about ‘The Bachelor’ series is how over-the-top protective women are about it. They don’t care how staged, fake, and/or soul-draining it is – every new episode is their ‘Super Bowl Sunday’, and if you so much as interrupt them during their consumption of the show … they will come at you like a spider monkey who just snorted a mountain of Vitamin B.
If there are 3 things on this planet that the majority of men in this country love, it’s:
1) Gambling
2) Fantasy Football
3) Hot Chicks
…and you know what, ‘The Bachelor’ offers all three – it just wasn’t realized until now. For upwards of a decade, males have been forced to endure the show – without any rooting interest … That era ends now.
Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you: The Bachelor SportsBook.
Here’s how this is going to work … find some buddies who you know are subject to watching ‘The Bachelor’, for whatever reason…
You’re then going to nominate someone with enough money to bankroll “The House” – so that winning bets can be paid off.
Everyone gets to spend 5 Units (you determine how much each unit is worth), and the minimum/maximum Unit size per bet = 1. For those unfamiliar with gambling money lines, + means underdog and – means favorite. Example: (+1000) would equate to 10:1 odds (Bet $1, Win $10, Return $11 total) and (-1000) would equate to 1:10 odds (Bet $10, Win $1, Return $11 total).
Without further ado, here are the contestants, their odds to be given “The Final Rose” by Ben, and plenty of Prop bets to keep you engaged (YEAH, PUN!) – for the entire Bachelor Season
and … AND Click HERE for the PODCAST/audio version with Ben Heisler (@bennyheis)
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Becca (+150)
- Age: 26
- From: San Diego, CA
- Occupation: Chiropractic Assistant
:::GLASS SHATTERS::::
BAW GAWD, THAT’S BECCA’S MUSIC!!!! BECCA’S BACK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT: BECCA’S BACK.
Everyone’s favorite virgin returns; fresh off of a second place finish during last year’s season where she clearly begged the Bachelor Gods for Chris NOT to propose to her in an Iowa Farmhouse straight out of Poltergeist – Becca is back to give reality TV love another chance. She’s +150 for a reason: smart, cool, genuine, and one of the most beautiful girls on Planet Earth.
In addition she tweeted this out during Kaitlyn’s season of ‘The Bachelorette’:
Ben H is what most 26 yr old virgins named Becca are looking for.
— Becca Tilley (@beccatilley5) August 25, 2015
So much thirst, so little time.
Regardless if Becca wins this season or not (hopefully not so we all have a chance), she is an absolute goddess and will go down in history amongst Bachelor royalty. If this is your first time watching the show: I DARE you to watch her get out of the limo and NOT fall in love within three Mississippis.
P.S. Speaking of “if she doesn’t win”, she is without-a-doubt the perennial powerhouse to be selected as the next Bachelorette. Many asked why she wasn’t last year, and part of me thinks this whole season could potentially be a ploy to get her back on camera, broaden her fanbase, and unleash her to the public the same way the Packers held Aaron Rodgers behind Brett Favre: Becca may have needed an extra year to groom her skills, but, when she’s put out on the big stage — everyone is gonna die.
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Olivia (+400)
- Age: 23
- From: Austin, TX
- Occupation: News Anchor
Editor’s Note: I smell fish. You’re not going to believe this, but, I think Olivia may not be on the show for the right reasons (OH NO I SAID IT!!!) First of all: no chick who looks this good, applies to be on The Bachelor, and is an aspiring Broadcast Journalist is trying to get locked up at 23 years old. It’s simple math, she knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s going for that LA/NYC anchor job. You don’t get there by being “good” at Journalism, let’s be honest… Regardless: this chick is borderline flawless and not even the picture-perfect altar boy in Ben H may be immune to this chick’s aesthetics despite her motifs.
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Amanda (+500)
- Age: 25
- From: Rancho Santa Margarita, CA
- Occupation: Esthetician
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JoJo (+500)
- Age: 24
- From: Dallas, TX
- Occupation: Real Estate Developer
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Lauren Bushnell (+500)
- Age: 24
- From: Marina Del Rey, CA
- Occupation: Flight Attendant
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Lauren H (+550)
- Age: 25
- From: Ann Arbor, MI
- Occupation: Elementary School Teacher
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Tiara (+600)
- Age: 26
- From: Redmond, WA
- Occupation: Chicken Enthusiast
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Leah (+800)
- Age: 25
- From: Denver, CO
- Occupation: Event Planner
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Rachel (+1000)
- Age: 23
- From: Little Rock, AR
- Occupation: Unemployed
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Jennifer (+1500)
- Age: 25
- From: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
- Occupation: Small Business Owner
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Caila (+1500)
- Age: 23
- From: Hudson, OH
- Occupation: Software Sales Representative
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Samantha (+1600)
- Age: 26
- From: New Smyrna Beach, FL
- Occupation: Attorney
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Breanne (+2000)
- Age: 30
- From: Seattle, WA
- Occupation: Nutritional Therapist
I CAN.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck – so, if/when you get kicked off, Bre, CALL ME.
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Lauren R (+2000)
- Age: 26
- From: Houston, TX
- Occupation: Math Teacher
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Shushanna (+2000)
- Age: 27
- From: Salt Lake City, UT
- Occupation: Mathematician
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Amber (+2500)
- Age: 30
- From: Chicago, IL
- Occupation: Bartender
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Izzy (+2500)
- Age: 24
- From: Branford, CT
- Occupation: Graphic Design
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Lauren “LB” (+2500)
- Age: 23
- From: Stillwater, OK
- Occupation: Fashion Buyer
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Jami (+4000)
- Age: 23
- From: Alberta, Canada
- Occupation: Bartender
—–
Jessica (+5000)
- Age: 23
- From: Boca Raton, FL
- Occupation: Accountant
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Jackie (+5000)
- Age: 23
- From: San Francisco, CA
- Occupation: Gerontologist
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Emily and Hayley (+5000)
- Age: 22
- From: Las Vegas, NV
- Occupation: Twins
Em and Hay are not 50:1 underdogs because they are ugly, the complete opposite actually — they are 50:1 underdogs because Ben is not Mormon, so, he will not be marrying two girls simultaneously and knowing the precedence of this show: he is not going to keep one on and send home the other unless one leaves on their own.
On the contrary, if Ben wants to go down as the biggest Bro King in the history of the Bachelor franchise, it would be an ALL-TIME move to keep these two girls around until the fantasy suite episode and invite them BOTH in there. Think of all the moms and ‘white picket fence tire swing golden retriever’ hopeful women who watch this show and would be absolutely FLABBERGASTED by this. Ben is the most cookie-cutter contestant in a while, he could make ‘The Rock’s’ heel turn when he joined Vince McMahon and the Corporation look like a joke with a simple invitation.
You have two stunning twins who, by the looks of their profile, make a living off of letting rich dudes drink a shot of tequila out of their boobs in the Encore Beach pool. IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS FOR YOURSELF, BEN, DO IT FOR US.
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Jubilee (+5000)
- Age: 24
- From: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
- Occupation: War Veteran
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Lace (+5000)
- Age: 25
- From: Denver, CO
- Occupation: Real-Estate Broker
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Laura (+10000)
- Age: 24
- From: Louisville, KY
- Occupation: Account Executive
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Mandi (+10000)
- Age: 28
- From: Portland, OR
- Occupation: Dentist
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Maegan (+100000000000)
- Age: 30
- From: Weatherford, TX
- Occupation: Cowgirl
Editor’s Note: This may be a little harsh, but, I think we’d all like to know which Saw basement Maegan has the casting producer’s children trapped in.
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PROP BETS:
Hair Color of the Winning Contestant:
BLONDE (-110)
BRUNETTE/DARK (-110)
OTHER (+10000)
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Total # of Roses that Shushanna Receives:
OVER 0.5 (-200)
UNDER 0.5 (+160)
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Does Becca make it to the ‘Hometown Dates’ episode?
YES (-700)
NO (+500)
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Will a contestant leave and/or be sent home before the first Rose Ceremony?
YES (+300)
NO (-420)
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What will be said more throughout the season?
“Right Intentions” (EVEN)
“Right Reasons” (-130)
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Who will receive more total roses?
Olivia (-110)
JoJo (-110)
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Who will receive more total roses?
Becca (-200)
Amanda (+160)
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Who will receive more total roses?
Lauren H (-110)
Leah (-110)
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Who will receive more total roses?
Caila (+120)
Jennifer (-150)
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Will Maegan receive at least one rose?
YES (+2000)
NO (-4000)
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Will a girl receive a rose at the conclusion of the first 2-on-1 date?
YES (-400)
NO (+320)
—-
Who will be the first girl to cry?
FIELD (-200)
Shushanna (+800)
Breanne (+1000)
Lauren R (+1500)
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Will there be a physical altercation that requires paramedics to arrive on-set at least once this season:
YES (+250)
NO (-320)
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How many times will Chris Harrison say: “The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever…” this season?
OVER 3.5 (-110)
UNDER 3.5 (-110)
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Total number of times “I’m here to find love” is said by ALL contestants during the Season Premiere?
OVER 4.5 (-110)
UNDER 4.5 (-110)
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How many separate times will they show Ben with his shirt off, during the Season Premiere?
OVER 1.5 times (-140)
UNDER 1.5 times (+120)
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Word that will be said more by ALL contestants (including Ben) during the Season Premiere?
HOT (-130)
CUTE (+110)
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Will a girl walk off-the-show on her own?
YES (+150)
NO (-180)
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Will “I can see my wife in this room” be said by Ben, during the Season Premiere?
YES (-250)
NO (+180)
—-
Will a girl kiss Ben on the lips, after getting out of the limo – during the Season Premiere?
YES (+200)
NO (-250)
—-
Which phrase will be said more times throughout the entire course of the season?
“RIGHT REASONS” (-110)
“WRONG REASONS” (-110)
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Will there be confirmed sexual intercourse (admitted by both parties) between Ben and a contestant at least once this season?
YES (+400)
NO (-600)
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Will Becca make the Final 3?
YES (-110)
NO (-110)
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Total # of roses that LB receives?
OVER 4 (-110)
UNDER 4 (-110)
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Will Becca, Amber, Olivia, Tiara, OR, Leah win the “First Impression” Rose, during the season premiere?
YES (-120)
NO (EVEN)
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What Continent will the Final Rose Ceremony take place on?
NORTH AMERICA/SOUTH AMERICA (-130)
ASIA (+110)
OTHER (+500)
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Will Ben cancel at least one cocktail party this season?
YES (+140)
NO (-170)
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Will JoJo receive the first one-on-one date invitation?
YES (+700)
NO (-1000)
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Episode # that a girl admits to Ben that she is “falling in love” with him?
OVER 5 (-150)
UNDER 5 (+130)
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Will a contestant DECLINE the fantasy suite invitation?
YES (+500)
NO (-800)
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Will Ben propose to the winning contestant, during the Final Rose Ceremony?
YES (-800)
NO (+600)
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If there is a proposal during the Final Rose Ceremony, will the contestant say YES?
YES (-1200)
NO (+800)
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Will JoJo be the next Bachelorette?
YES (+300)
NO (-500)
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If Becca gets eliminated, will she accept my rose?
YES (+10000000)
NO (-500000000)