Advice from Fred Smoot: Sex Boats Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be

The Minnesota Vikings “sex boat” scandal from 2005 remains one of the most infamous tales in modern NFL history. There were gobs and gobs of strippers, there were double-sided dildos, and there were the calming waters of Lake Minnetonka.

And yet in a Reddit AMA yesterday, the architect of the sex-boat party, Fred Smoot, said it wasn’t even that fun.

"Can we please stop asking about the sex boat? That shit was like 10 years ago and it wasn’t even that cool. Stay off of boats kids."

Smoot, a cornerback for the Redskins and Vikings from 2001-09, has talked about the sex boat plenty of times before, and not usually with a great deal of tact. This also wasn’t his first Reddit AMA, so he came in right off the top to say he was bored of talking about the sex boat, but he does have solutions to some of the bedeviling political topics of our time.

"Kirk Cousins for president. Change the name of the Redskins to The Presidents and make the jerseys dollar bill green with a big ol Benjamin on the side of the helmet."

The rest of the wide-ranging AMA is immensely entertaining, with Smoot lobbing grenades all over the NFL.

On Peyton Manning …

"Brady the GOAT – Manning on the juice. look how big his head is. straight barry bonds dome. Brady just winning football games with Giselle juice."

On Johnny Manziel …

"he gonna have a lot of fun drinking with his friends when he can’t find a place to play anymore. ask fred davis what the next chapter is. i love freddy d to death, thats my brother, but once you get a bad rap, it’s hard asa muhfucker to lose it."

On Cousins …

"kirk has a cannon attached to him. he loves mexicans and he believes the redskins are going to win the bowl"

And on what he got for Christmas …

"ass mostly"

Never change, Smoot.