Fan Fiction About Peyton Manning Heading to the Dolphins

Peyton Manning still has a week to prepare for the Broncos’ first playoff game, and for all we know next month he’ll hoist the Lombardi trophy and ride off into the sunset on a tricked-out unicorn. His former coordinator Adam Gase got pretty good production out of Jay Cutler this season, and perhaps he believes he can be the first person to do that with the perennially-underperforming Ryan Tannehill. Right now, nobody knows anything.

With that out of the way, let’s do some fan fiction about the sequence of events for Miami to be Peyton Manning’s new halfway house before retirement:

1) The Broncos beat the Chiefs or Steelers next week (if they don’t, skip to no. 3).

2) If they DO, the Patriots come into Mile High and win because Brady always beats Manning when it counts, except for that one time.

3) Peyton Manning announces retirement. Tears are shed. Thinkpieces are written. ESPN talking heads sound like they’re eulogizing a war hero.

4) April: Manning signs on to be a studio analyst at Highest Bidding Network X. Richard Deitsch gets the scoop.

4) It’s a Wednesday in late July. NBA free agency has mostly dissipated, baseball’s in its dog days where you just take it for granted as an everyday part of your life. A Chris Mortensen tweet appears on your timeline. Peyton Manning has the itch. News circuit activated. It leads PTI.

5) No immediate suitors.

6) Ryan Tannehill struggles out of the gate. Miko Grimes causes another ruckus. Knowing that they can cut bait with Tannehill after the season, the Dolphins start to leak stories about how they’re not satisfied with his preparation, or leadership, or whatever.

7) Manning knows the system.

The rest is history.

[Photo via USA Today Sports Images]