Conan O’Brien was able to find a comedic take on Cam Newton walking out of his post-Super Bowl presser because that’s what comedians do. The talk-show host neither vilified or deified the Carolina Panthers quarterback in the process, instead focusing on … Fig Newtons. In doing so he became the first American to ever occupy the middle ground on this particular topic.
P.S. We’re about 80 percent sure Conan co-opted this joke from an old Stephen Douglas tweet which should serve as a wake-up call to all involved.