Chicago Cubs Mad They Can't Use Tobacco At Work Anymore

Baseball players in Chicago can no longer use smokeless tobacco at work. I know, it’s a horrible violation of basic human rights. First baseball players can’t have their kids at work with them 100% of the time and now they can’t use tobacco products for 3 whole hours a day? What’s next? Anyway, here are some compelling arguments from the Chicago Cubs about why smokeless tobacco is so important in the workplace. Via ESPN:

"“It’s going to be hard because you’re an addict, pretty much,” catcher Miguel Montero said after being informed of the ban on Wednesday. “It’ll be tough to quit cold turkey. Hopefully (this) will help me to quit.”"

OK, maybe someone pointing out they are addicted to the substance and they hope this helps them quit is a bad start.

"“We’re grown men,” Lackey said. “People in the stands can have a beer, but we can’t do what we want? That’s a little messed up.”"

While Lackey should be able to offer some tips on how to do legal things in private during baseball games, this should still become a popular argument at H.R. meetings in offices around the country. If you can see people drinking, you should be able to do whatever you want at work as long as it’s legal. No millionaire athlete should be asked to go three-straight hours without using a tobacco product in plain view of the public. It’s an unreasonable request.