Game of Thrones: "Home" Recap
The return of familiar faces and the debut of some familiar looking faces. What a delightful little episode!
Previously On – What a delightful little trip down memory lane that was. As I was watching I said, “Oh! We’ve seen everyone but Ned!” And then!
Bran – Oh! Hi Bran! I see you’re almost as big as Hodor now. And he can walk! In his mind. This was a fun little … flashback? It showed us that Bran has been working on his warging or magical head stuff off-screen. Plus, Bran gets to play the part of the audience for a moment: “You finally show me something I care about. Then you drag me away.” [entire audience nods along in agreement]
Stark Babies of Winterfell – Coming this Fall to HBO hopefully.
Willis – Hodor?
Hodor – Willis!? Let me just say, I’ll watch Ramsay skin a dozen baby dragons alive in real time before I want to see what happened to turn Willis into Hodor.
Meera – Look, if you’re going to be a depressed goth teen just because your brother was killed by some skeletons, just… don’t. OK? We don’t have time for you to be a gloomy Greyjoy. There’s a war coming. Don’t know if you’ve been paying attention for the last 5+ seasons. Listen to your mysterious elvish tree person lady friend.
Ser Davos – “Apologies for what you’re about to see.” I think the Woman in Red brought his sense of humor back from the dead between seasons. I tell you, once the guy who corrects your grammar at every turn goes away, it really lightens the mood.
Wildlings – Yay? These are the good guys now. It actually makes sense that they would work at Castle Black at the foot of Ramsay Trump’s wall.
Ollie – Gods be good, somebody please tie this kid up, drop him on Ramsay’s doorstep, and leave a note on him saying he knows where Sansa is.
Drunken Story Teller – LOL @ everything about this.
Super Mountain – He really is quite large. If he randomly, violently, gratuitously kills someone talking shit about the Lannisters every week, that’s 30-seconds well-spent.
King Tommen – He seems to understand better than anyone just how useless and powerless a king can be. And as long as Ser Pounce remains in the shadows, hidden from the view of the audience, I’m afraid that’s how we all feel. Also, you can really tell he’s Cersei’s son now that they have the same haircut.
Jaime – Not sure why he didn’t try to kill every single person in that room. I mean, he just survived a brutal battle with the Sand Snakes. Confidence should be at an all-time high.
High Sparrow – Basically doing his best Arnold impersonation at the end of Predator. “GO ON THEN! DO IT! COME ON WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? SPILL BLOOD IN THIS HOLY PLACE!”
Cersei – She certainly portrays Mother Seeing Son For First Time In Weeks Why Didn’t You Call You Know I’m Always Home You Could Have Called very well.
Grey Worm – The Unsullied, once a storied badass silent slave army, have been reduced to the first officers on the scene in a Law & Order episode: “We are searching for the men who burned the ships, but nobody saw anything.”
Tyrion – Dragon whisperer. “I drink and I know things.” I plan on slurring these words many times in the future.
Dragons – You know, just because a strange man says he knows your mother, doesn’t mean you should immediately trust him. This is how you end up in a bunker for 15 years. Of course, they’re already in a bunker at this point so, what did they have to lose? By the way, those things were held captive by a single pin? Was no one worried one might shake loose? I’d at least have wanted them tightened using an Allen wrench.
Arya – Should we stop calling her that? I’m afraid if the Many-Faced God hears one of us say Arya, a man will punish a girl. It’s nice that the Many-Faced God basically jumps new recruits into the gang.
Roose – Since Ramsay is married to Sansa, this was basically the Starks getting back at Roose Bolton. King Rob sends his regards.
Ramsay – I hate Ramsay just as much as the next guy, but he has become such a heightened comic book version of evil, it’s kind of funny. Stabbing his father then inviting his mother-in-law and baby brother into the kennels and slowly letting his dogs out to eat them alive? “I prefer being an only child.” Come on. Now that he’s terrorizing people we don’t know, it’s just silly. He’s like Paul Giamatti in Shoot ‘Em Up.
Walda Frey – Her only crime was loving too much.
Pod – Do you think he was supposed to light the fire in that shot?
Theek – So, is his story done now forever or do you think he’ll just happen upon another main character? Perhaps he’ll become a wildling? He won’t make it all the way home, right?
Balon Greyjoy – Being sent out to sea in a lobster trap is certainly a way to go.
Euron Greyjoy – I was very upset to hit Google and find out that this was not Joshua Jackson. Alas… “I am the Drowned God” and “I am the storm brother” is a heck of an introduction. Plus the whole throwing his brother off a bridge thing. Very strong start to his Game of Thrones career.
Yara – After all the strong women things we saw last week, Yara hitting her head on the glass clear iron ceiling is kind of a reality check.
Davos (pt 2) – “Fuck’em then.” Damns traight. Let’s look what I wrote last week:
"Davos will give her a speech and she’ll bring back Jon Snow and the Wildlings will return and we’ll pretty much wrap this whole story up and then move on."
#nailedit
Melisandre (pt 2) – Good job, good effort.
Jon Snow – Back. Just needed a haircut and beard trim. Sure, the episode ended with a Stark’s eyes opening just like with Bran in season 1, but it was so worth it. Remember when people briefly thought Jon Snow was gone forever 10 months ago? That was rough.