5 Historic Disasters Stephen A. Smith Could Have Averted
By Ty Duffy
O.J. Simpson is back in the news with the 30 for 30 documentary. Stephen A. Smith asserted that, without legal training, he would have been able to get a conviction for murder.
Rather than question Stephen A’s undoubted acumen in dealing with difficult situations outside his purview, we offer five historical catastrophes that also could have been averted with a dollop of Stephen A’s circuitous diction.
World War I: Stephen A can’t save the Archduke in Sarajevo. Stephen A can’t resolve the underlying tensions. But, a month’s worth of straight talk on First Take convinces the belligerents a slight loss of face was preferable to a half-century of horrific, mechanized warfare.
Mongol Conquest of Khwarezm: Stephen A reminds Muhammad II in no uncertain terms the foolishness of messing with one of the all-time greats, Genghis Khan. Accept the envoys. Treat them to a nice dinner. Negotiate a trade deal. Don’t put the merchant party to death.
Suez Crisis: Stephen A has tremendous respect for the British people, the Empire, and the sacrifices they made defeating Hitler. But, he must respectfully inform them it’s 1956 not 1856. They are no longer a great power. Anthony Eden is no Mariano Rivera. Check yourselves.
Yellow Submarine: Stephen A understands the complexity of contractual obligations, but feels, quite frankly, it’s not in any one’s long term interest to release a clipped collection of dog crap less than two months after the White Album.
2016 Republican Primary: Stephen A forcefully elucidates for a skeptical Republican Party base that nominating a racist reality TV star in the face of grave problems for the nation, a diversifying electorate, and a yet to be resolved imbalance on the Supreme Court is an unwise strategy.