Bobby Knight emerged from the Upside Down and took human form on Wednesday long enough to do some campaign stumping for his good buddy Donald Trump. At a rally in Toledo, Ohio, the former Indiana basketball coach made some sweeping claims about Trump’s ability to solve problems.
I mean, he’s right. Trump has solved dozens of problems. It sucks having to actually pay people for their work, so he figured out a genius solution. He also found a great way to pay off his legal bills: use his charitable foundation! Trump ran into a bit of a problem when people starting pointing out his four bankruptcies, so he found a brilliant way around that: deny they happened! Experts and citizens were ripping his stoking the fires of the “birther” movement, so what did he do? Falsely blame the whole thing on Hillary Clinton! The guy is a savant. He is already preparing his next trick: shredding the Bill of Rights to make himself feel better.
The guy is a master at solving problems. It’s really amazing. I’m glad Knight pointed that out. Thanks Bob, you can now go back to haunting the dreams of unsuspecting children.