Houston Texans Exposed as Frauds at Hands of Jacoby Brissett and the Patriots, 27-0

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All the dopes out there – myself included – who thought the Houston Texans were for real this season, and could contend in the AFC, and had a great shot to take down the Tom Brady-less, Jimmy Garoppolo-less Patriots … yeah, that’s not going to happen.

The Texans were humiliated by the Patriots in New England Thursday, 27-0, in a beatdown of epic proportions. Nothing went right for the Texans. After giving up a field goal, they fumbled the ensuing kickoff. And then it happened again.

Houston didn’t run a play in New England territory until late in the 3rd quarter.

Brock Osweiler was intercepted in the first half and didn’t look anything like a franchise QB. Jacoby Brissett, in his first career start, didn’t turn the ball over and rushed for a touchdown.

Special teams? New England pinned Houston inside its own 15-yard line six times with punts.

It’s impossible to have watched this game and find one positive for Houston. The Texans defense looked impressive against Chicago and Kansas City, but was powerless against a 3rd string QB. JJ Watt was a total non-factor; Jadeveon Clowney had zero impact.

I’m not going to bother crown the Patriots here. That’ll be done throughout the weekend by everyone, and deservedly so. They’re 3-0 and have barely had Rob Gronkowski, don’t have the greatest QB in NFL history, and star linebacker Donta Hightower has yet to play.

It’s a scary prospect for the rest of the AFC – well, really just Pittsburgh and maybe Denver, though I can’t imagine Bill Belichick is losing an ounce of sleep over Trevor Siemian.

Just a bit off.