NFL Week 5 Bests & Worsts: Tom Brady's Back Y'all

Every week, we’ll go through some of the best and worst of the notable Sunday performances and plays. Here they are for Week 5.

Offensive Player of the Week: Tom Brady, New England Patriots

Uh oh, Tommy’s back and we’re all in trouble. Mr. Deflategate returned after a four-week suspension to open the season. He straight dominated and looked damn handsome doing it.

Brady completed 28 of 40 passes for 406 yards and three touchdowns. He spread the ball around to three different receivers and wound up hitting Martellus Bennett (of all people) six times for 67 yards and three scores. Think he was ready to be back on the field?

The Patriots went 3-1 without Brady and are now 4-1 and lead the Bills by a full game in the AFC East. With No. 12 back under center the Patriots will only get better and the rest of the league was put on notice Sunday.

Defensive Player of the Week: Vic Beasley, Atlanta Falcons

Beasley was on fire in Week 5, racking up eight tackles, 3.5 sacks and two forced fumbles. The No. 8 pick from the 2015 NFL Draft has shown flashes of a potential breakout this year after a disappointing rookie season. He already has more sacks (4.5) in five games than he did in 2015 (4.0) and has looked like a different player.

The Falcons topped the Broncos 23-16 in what was the team’s biggest win of the season. If Atlanta wants to keep its promising start going, Beasley must continue to step up.

Most Impressive Rookie: Ezekiel Elliott, Dallas Cowboys

Zeke went off this week again and has passed Carson Wentz to top the Rookie of the Year rankings. Elliott rushed for 134 yards and two touchdowns on just 15 carries. He averaged 8.9 yards per rush, while also catching three passes for 37 yards in the Cowboys’ 28-14 win over the Bengals.

Elliott leads the NFL in rushing with 546 yards on 109 carries so far this year (5.0 yards per carry), while adding 81 yards on nine catches.

Many questioned the wisdom of Jerry Jones selecting a running back with the fourth pick in the 2016 NFL Draft. It looks like anyone doubting that pick was being foolish. Elliott is for real, as this 60-yard touchdown from Sunday showed:

Randy Fasani Award: Brock Osweiler, Houston Texans

The Texans are 3-2 but have largely been disappointing so far this season, with all three wins coming over weak teams. A big part of that has been Brock Osweiler’s ineptitude. On Sunday that reared its ugly head once again, as Houston’s $72 million man completed just 19 of 42 passes (45.2 percent) for 184 yards. He averaged just 4.38 yards per attempt and added one touchdown and an interception to that awful stat-line. Osweiler finished the day with a Week 5-worst passer rating of 56.1, and a Total QBR of 11.7.

In five games with Houston, Osweiler has thrown six touchdowns and seven interceptions and has been picked off at least one time each week. So far on the season he ranks 29th in passer rating (70.6), one spot behind Case Keenum and barely head of Blaine Gabbert.

It’s safe to say the Texans aren’t getting what they paid for from Osweiler.

*The Randy Fasani Award is given weekly to the NFL quarterback who turns in the worst performance. Fasani is the award’s namesake because he had one career start and turned in a 0.0 passer rating. That makes him the worst starting quarterback in NFL history.

Best Debut: Joey Bosa, San Diego Chargers

I’ve ripped Joey Bosa and the Chargers relentlessly for his holdout and subsequent injury when he was desperately needed. Well, on Sunday the third pick from the 2016 NFL Draft answered any questions about his fitness and managed to shut me up (not an easy task), as he debuted and looked fantastic.

The Ohio State product had five tackles, two sacks and three tackles for loss. He also consistently held the edge against the rush and pressured the quarterback. Here’s a look at both of his sacks:

Bosa looks like he can play, and after yet another fourth-quarter implosion, the 1-4 Chargers need all the help they can get.

Guy Who Killed Your Fantasy Team: Tevin Coleman, Atlanta Falcons

Betcha didn’t see that one coming huh? Tevin Coleman racked up 132 yards and a touchdown on four catches. He’s a running back and he dominated your team through the air. He only had 31 yards on six carries, but that’s still 163 yards and a score.

ESPN had Coleman with 22 points this week. That means you either didn’t see him coming and he probably beat you, or you left him on your bench and lost. Either way, you’re hating Tevin Coleman right now.

Hottest Seat: Mike McCoy, San Diego Chargers

Let’s check on how McCoy’s team is handling a clutch situation this week:

Well I’m sure that was just an isolated incident:

LULZ.

Someone please fire this clown already.

Wanna Get Away? Moment of the Week: Tyrod Taylor, Buffalo Bills

I feel like a quarterback should know better than this. There are like seven different levels of fail on this one play. That has to be a record. This play should get it’s own 30 for 30 short. There’s just so much to break down. If you think the snap is bad, watch the offensive line and running back try to block.

Wait a Minute Moment of the Week: Justin Tucker, Baltimore Ravens

Justin Tucker, who is most decidedly not a left-footed kicker, lined up to kick a field goal from the left side. So if Washington had watched any tape on the Ravens whatsoever they immediately knew the Ravens were going to fake this, or Tucker was on mescaline. Either way the result was predictable.

Bad Inanimate Object of the Week: Brock Oseweiler, Houston Texas

Yeah Brock, it’s the binder’s fault you suck.

Good Inanimate Object of the Week: Odell Beckham, New York Giants

“I wish I knew how to quit you kicking net…”

That’s Not His Last Name: Everson Griffen, Minnesota Vikings

Uh, guys? That’s not his name.

Lookout! Moment of the Week: Cody Kessler, Cleveland Browns

Nice blocking, guys. Sigh, Mama, don’t let your baby grow up to be a quarterback for the Cleveland Browns.

Just…No Moment of the Week: Tom Brady, New England Patriots

Tom, just…no.