Greg Bird's Hairless Cat is in Compliance with the Yankees' Grooming Rules
By Kyle Koster
New York Yankees first baseman Greg Bird has a hairless cat named Mr. Delicious. And if you need more information to be interested, know that he believes the cat has an interesting pop-culture lineage.
"“That’s my cat. That’s my dude,” Bird explained to YES Network. “I never really had cats, and then this guy came into my life, and he’s the man. He’s related to Mr. Bigglesworth from Austin Powers. It’s like his grandpa or whatever in that line. So his name is Mr. Delicious. Everyone when they see him is like they know Mr. Bigglesworth, so they say, ‘Mr. Bigglesworth?’ And I say, ‘Well, sort of, no. His name is Mr. Delicious.’”"
Everyone knows that Mr. Bigglesworth was played by a Sphynx named SGC Belfry Ted Nude-Gent. Allow me to don my best birther cap here and suggest that Mr. Delicious may not be this cat’s “grandpa or whatever in that line.” I’ll need to see some 23 & Me results or a longform birth certificate to be sure.
Mr. Delicious isn’t a distraction for the Yankees as they enter the regular season because he is well within the team’s grooming guidelines. He’s not out there sporting mangy long hair or long whiskers. Mr. Delicious gets the importance of being hairless and he’s a cat.
Meanwhile, humans like Clint Frazier have the audacity to show up with long locks and cause enormous problems. Makes you think.