Michael Kopech, 20, is an extremely hard-throwing pitching prospect in the Chicago White Sox organization. Brielle Biermann, 20, is a reality television star and the daughter of a Real Housewife of Bravo. They are dating.
Today TMZ published a 99 photograph slideshow of the young couple from a recent photoshoot at a mostly empty boardwalk amusement park. Ninety-nine photographs. They feed each other ice cream. They change outfits multiple times. They are like engagement photos, but with more making out and TMZ watermarks.
Say what you want about Lavar Ball, he’d never let something like this take place. I mean, this is aggressive attention-hungry behavior even by reality television standards, right? And it worked. It sent me down a Biermann rabbit hole. I now know too much. I know stuff I’m afraid I’ll never un-know.
For instance, in 2008, Kim Zolciak started working on a country album and in 2009 she stepped out of the lab with a Lady Gaga rip-off called “Tardy for the Party.” And the Biermann’s reality show is called “Don’t Be Tardy…” If you know why, please do not tell me.
Anyway, the song was wildly successful – when compared to songs released by other Real Housewives. Yes, songs from Real Housewives are real things that happen. And this is apparently the “official” music video for the song, but it looks just as fake as everything else in this post. Why is any of it?
We must all forget what we have learned here today or we will be doomed forever. Good luck with all of this White Sox.