Roundup: Dead Gator Lands Students in Hot Water; U.S. Women's Soccer Team Loses to Kids

Selena Gomez … What hath the right-wing grift wrought … Yeah, the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad was a miss … Donald Trump Jr. eyeing a run for New York governor … Good Samaritan struck by car … A human’s nutritional value … Dead gator in dorm causes problems … Utah offering scholarships for eSports … LeGarrette Blount wants to get paid … Patrick Ewing fancies himself as a great salesman … Who is The Face of Major League Baseball … Commuting from New Jersey is a nightmare, and could get worse … Underdog snakes have been making some noise … Touching tribute for Arnold Palmer … Grandmother gets 57 years in prison after grandson’s scalding death … Father spared jail time after dragging daughter out of school … Quadruplet brothers accepted to Ivies … Wizards analyst Phil Chenier won’t return … Weird times with a dictionary’s Twitter account going viral … Thabo Sefalosha settles … Under-15 boys team “beats” USWNT, 5-2 … Investigators looking into all the John Higgins threats … Sign me up for some brain-zapping … Syrian options being weighed.

Starting to think this is the Capitals’ year. [Washington Post]

Bidding farewell to Joe Louis Arena. [Detroit Free Press]

Ohio man has legendary mugshot. [Toledo Blade]

Imagining a world where Dez Bryant “caught it.” Would Tony Romo still be in the NFL? [Bleacher Report]

This is one of the best comedic pieces in recent memory.

Is this a Billy Joel concert or a King of Queens episode?

Want to be a journalist? Learn to ask questions like this.

Fall Out Boy — Of All the Gin Joints in the World