Caroline Wozniacki Shared Some Truly Worthless Life Lessons in The Players Tribune

Caroline Wozniacki wrote a letter to her younger self in The Players Tribune last summer. If Dion Waiters’ article about missing the playoffs is the height of what The Players Tribune can give the public, then Senior Editor Caroline Wozniacki’s letter to her younger self is the lowest possible point. Over the course of more than 2000 words, Wozniacki tells herself that her parents were supportive and suggests that her younger self invest in real estate in an article specially brought to you by a bank.

Wozniacki also explains that she’ll win lots of tennis matches and reach all of her goals and like fashion and own a Ferrari. If there’s anything that let’s an 11-year old know that it will turn out OK, that’s got to be it. Seriously, this is a tremendously pointless group of words.

Still, with a big advertiser on board The Players Tribune apparently sent two professional photographers to visit with Wozniacki for this piece to supplement the pictures of her younger braces-wearing self. Neither of those photogs were Players Tribune Deputy Publisher Kevin Durant.

The one thing I do suggest you check out in this is the voicemail she leaves to herself. It’s actual audio you can listen to if you scroll to the bottom of the letter. It’s only 40-seconds and it features the sounds of writing, change dropping, cars honking and even an airplane in the background. The voicemail tells the young tennis player to buy an apartment in New York City. According to the caption, it was her smartest “splurge purchase.” Somebody write that down and suggest somewhere you can get a loan!

What the hell is anyone supposed to take from this? Should we marvel at how well things have turned out for Wozniacki despite the fact that she faced incredible adversity like this:

"You should know that once you’re at the top, there are people out there who will try to bring you down. Not everyone wants what’s best for you. There will be doubters, and naysayers, and mean-spirited individuals who will love nothing more than to see you fail. Do not let those people influence how you think about yourself. Know that you are a good person who treats people right — an optimist at heart — and don’t let cynical or pessimistic people change that about you. The media will build you up in a hurry, but then, just as fast, will bring you down. Don’t get too caught up in either of those extremes. And please, Caroline, hear me loud and clear on this one: Understand the massive impact that social media can have as you get older and as technology advances. Give your fans some insights into who you are, and share some photos every once in a while, but please, please, please be sure to keep your most private matters private."

This is the closest she comes to giving her younger self any actual advice. And it’s basically “F the haters,” “social media is bad” and “give fans the illusion that they know you.” How to be a robotic P.R.-friendly athlete 101.

I guess since her younger self is the only real audience of this letter it doesn’t matter what a doubting media member like myself takes from it. All that really matters is that she buys that apartment in New York City and limits herself to one Ferrari. And I guess that last one could apply to anyone. Thanks Caroline.