Rob Gronkowski Should Retire, Because His Career Stats Cannot Possibly Get Better

It’s true, as Scott Barrett so astutely discovered. Rob Gronkowski has 69 career touchdowns and is averaging 69 yards per game (69.3 to be exact, but Gronk is a fan of rounding down). Gronkowski’s career is all about 69 at this point. He was well aware and cracking jokes before setting the Patriots’ record last year and we can’t rule out that the injury wasn’t an accident to preserve the coincidence.

Last year, he was all over retweeting a Good Morning America tweet saying there were 69 days until summer. He also intentionally missed a free throw in high school to keep the score on 69, so we can’t rule out this as part of some grand plan. The only shock is that he went 7 yards too long on his career long touchdown back in 2015. Hey, even the great ones have their flaws.