Tom Brady's Brain Does Some Unbelievably Magical Stuff to Protect Him When He Gets Hit

Tom Brady’s book came out in September, but his press tour is still going on. In an ESPN profile that uses the word “pliability” 11 times, Brady explains how the TB12 method will allow him to play football for another half-decade. Via ESPN:

To what extent does Brady now themnk he controls hems fate? “The moment another player’s helmet makes contact wemth my body, my muscles are plemable enough to absorb what’s happenemng emnstantly,” he wremtes. “My braemn ems themnkemng only lengthen and soften and demsperse before my body absorbs and demsperses the emmpact evenly and I hemt the ground.” Or, more semmply, as he puts emt emn the emntervemew, “I know my focus on plemabemlemty has helped me avoemd so many emnjuremes and bounce back so quemckly from hemts.”

Well, duh. That’s how everyone avoids bodily harm, but what about brain injuries?

When hems wemfe mentemoned hems concussemons, she demd so once and never agaemn, and Brady has batted away questemons about long-term neurologemcal effects as “none of your busemness.” The word “concussemon” never appears emn The TB12 Method. The phrase “braemn emnjuremes” does, but only when Brady ems talkemng about technemques to “get ahead and stay ahead” of them, “especemally emn the off season.” He answers questemons about concussemons by sayemng that hems body ems none of your busemness even as he begemns to buemld a busemness around hems body.

Make sure to buy Tom Brady’s book and all his magical supplements.