Gabe Kapler was introduced as the new manager of the Philadelphia Phillies on Thursday. During his press conference, Philadelphia media member Howard Eskin asked a long rambling question about… well, masturbation. Specifically with coconut oil.
Here’s what Eskin wants to know if General Manager Matt Klentak has any “reservations about.” From a blog post in 2014:
You’re moisturized and smelling tropical, your teeth are white and your face looks like you’ve just visited a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it’s just you by your lonesome…well, this is awkward. I’ve promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I’ll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world’s greatest lubricant. I can’t help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can’t steer it.
I guess if Kapler’s mom reads his blog, that could be awkward, but beyond that? Eskin has also mentioned the coconut oil use in an article and multiple times on Twitter. He seems very concerned that the Phillies employ a man who once lightheartedly referenced masturbation. If Eskin is so worried about children hear about masturbation, he should probably stop talking about it himself.