This weekend isn’t great. Couple of things to figure out in the Pac-10, a few to determine in the ACC, some clouds in the BCS picture that likely won’t be resolved until around 11 pm on December 5, and the beginnings of two rivalry weekends back-to-back. It’s always a fun time to hit the douchiest bar in your hometown (assuming you swung Monday and Tuesday off next week), because on Saturday night, you will run into at least one person you want to jack in the face. And what better way to watch Oregon/Arizona than that, right? We’ll keep these proceedings short. Go spend time with your families, you heathens. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s how we flow, now until December 12: this weekend, no one can really drastically boost or destroy their stock. (If you believe Suh should be on this list, well, he could help by destroying people en route to a berth in the Big 12 title game.) The day after Thanksgiving, McCoy can do a little bit against weak Texas A&M. On December 5th, it’s all over. If ya think Dion Lewis is sniffing an invite (he’s probably not), he’s got the Pitt/Cincinnati game too. In a lark, next week we’ll look at some 2010 Heisman candidates. We’ll be horribly wrong. Read the rest of this entry »
Next weekend’s gonna be fairly boring: while OSU/Michigan is usually fun at least from an atmosphere perspective, the game means nothing and could be a 28-point blowout. Oregon vs. Arizona figured to be the biggest game of the weekend, but then Arizona took a page from the Bob Stoops playbook and shit the bed in an important game. LSU vs. Ole Miss could be entertaining if Dexter McCluster goes off, giving headline writers everywhere the chance to make the inevitable “Dexter/Showtime” joke. Point being: snooze this weekend, enjoy Thanksgiving (Bedlam will be kinda fun) and get ready for December 5th, when hings begin to truly matter again. Read the rest of this entry »
Do you remember when you were in high school, and there was that one kid? Mike Dexter personified him for many. Landed the hottest girls, then stuff would come out like “He has herpes” or “He f*cked his girlfriend’s dog” or “He got herpes from f*cking his girlfriend’s dog” or “He’s gay” or “He’s gay with former Orioles slugger Brady Anderson?”And the very next week, he’d be banging the second-hottest girl at your school. You know that guy? That guy is Ohio State football. No matter how many times you leave ‘em for dead, lambast ‘em, hang ‘em out to dry with every fiber of your being, they come back and put roses in their mouths sometime in November. And so begins CFB, Week 11. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the most underrated Brent calls of the last five or so years is during the Michigan/OSU game in 2007, when he said near the end of the third quarter: “I think you can put Mr. Stiff-Arm in a box and Fed-Ex it to Columbus, Oh-iiiiiiiiiiii-oooooooo” (for Troy Smith). A few seconds later, he may have added, “Vegas has Smith winning at 5 to 2 presently.” The Heisman race is down to two rivalry weekends and Championship weekend. Really, only three dudes can do this thang. We’ll rank seven regardless. Read the rest of this entry »
Here are the actual rankings. Let the wild rumpus start. By the way, if you care - my Final Four is Texas, Kansas, Kentucky and … wait for it … Seton Hall. Gotta grab a sleeper, right?
1. Florida - Haven’t lost since September of 2008. That counts for something. SoCar game probably won’t be the trap everyone wants it to be. Read the rest of this entry »
Last weekend had two games that coulda shaken up the ol’ BCS picture, unless you somehow believe UGA was gonna pull the donger out and pankass UF in Jacksonville; one of those games, Oregon over USC, delivered, exposing USC’s defense as semi-fraudulent. The rise of Eric Berry-to-the-Chiefs can now commence. That defense has to be good eventually, right? Onto this week, which is perhaps even less scintillating. Read the rest of this entry »
This Heisman race, while the winner is ultimately going to be as obvious as Who Shot Mr. Burns (I actually had that as Hans Moleman that entire summer), has at least been as crazy as the 2000 Presidential election. (After the jump, there’s a video of Dan Rather from early that night. Can’t find the classic, but at around 3 am he was screaming, “Gore’s back is up against the wall! His shirttails are on fire and the tax collector is banging down the door!” It was literally that bad.) Side note on the 2000 election: the night before was Antonio Freeman’s sick-ass catch on MNF. Here’s video of that. That’s the last time we’ll mention a WR for the remainder of this post, I’d bet. Read the rest of this entry »
You must see the video of Jonathan Dwyer trucking of a hapless Virginia defensive back below.
1. Florida - Beating Georgia isn’t a big accomplishment, but they haven’t lost since last September. That’s impressive. 2. Alabama - I would put Texas here, because beating Okie State on the road is cool … but I’m not gonna drop ‘Bama just because it didn’t play. Read the rest of this entry »
Welcome to CFB Smorgasboard, Week 9. I’m your Peter Marshall (see No. 2 on this epic list), also known as Big Brain on Brett. It’s a reference from Pulp Fiction, which is probably the best movie made in 1994. Other candidates: Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Clerks, Speed, The Professional, True Lies, Swimming with Sharks. Damn, 1994 was a good year for films. My Netflix queue just got fuller than Kate Gosselin’s hoo-ha once she finds an appropriate sitter. BOOM! Hey, I’m here all week — doing a bar mitzvah in the Catskills next Thursday. Onto the Saturday afternoon action. Read the rest of this entry »
This weekend isn’t great. Couple of things to figure out in the Pac-10, a few to determine in the ACC, some clouds in the BCS picture that likely won’t be resolved until around 11 pm on December 5, and the beginnings of two rivalry weekends back-to-back. It’s always a fun time to hit the douchiest bar in your hometown (assuming you swung Monday and Tuesday off next week), because on Saturday night, you will run into at least one person you want to jack in the face. And what better way to watch Oregon/Arizona than that, right? We’ll keep these proceedings short. Go spend time with your families, you heathens. Read the rest of this entry »
