Comments on: Dane Cook Slams Bill Simmons, Boston Braces for Apocalypse

By: PurdueMatt

PurdueMatt — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:40:49 +0000

Dane Cook is a dbag. He stole material from Louis CK.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cRcem3Nk17s&mode=related&search=

By: The412

The412 — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:21:22 +0000

I’ve yet to see/hear Dane Cook do anything remotely amusing. He’s made a nice living off Pauly Shore-level comedy.

By: Funny Sports-Related Name

Funny Sports-Related Name — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:50:15 +0000

No one is saying Cook sold out. We are saying he was never funny to begin with.

By: weaprice

weaprice — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 06:35:47 +0000

At least Simmons knows about sports, Cook is trying to appeal to a broader audience with these horrible actober commercials and the appearances on the ESPYs and the WWL chat. If he thought it would draw more viewers to an hour long special he would do a chat on HGTV.com

By: KC Resident

KC Resident — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 04:40:40 +0000

“Are you that righteous.”

Most certainly. Some of us were raised in the genius that was Bill Hicks. Rolling around with the Bimbo of the moment is sad shakes. Lame “Comedy” bits just to get that wretched movie role gets what this fuck deserves. Slander. And it is well deserved. He’s not funny. He panders to his college frat boy and girlie audience. Kudos. He is set for life. That doesn’t mean my respect is automatic or forthcoming.

By: jimmy

jimmy — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:40:09 +0000

simmons vs. cook. here is all you need to know:

one got paid to roll around with jessica alba for a few weeks. the other didn’t.

(hint: it wasn’t simmons).

scoreboard: cook!

By: Johnson

Johnson — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:11:41 +0000

So being that relative who “urged” you to listen to cook, I can let you know that you missed the bus. He was hilarious for a minute on his stand up and CD’s, but he really “jumped the shark” when he tried to become a movie star of epic proportion. I dont know Simmons, cause I am not the sports enthus you are, but I can tell you that Howard Stern and Dane Cook are much more funny than he is…SUFI Bitches! Johnson out!

By: dhoffman19

dhoffman19 — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 02:47:45 +0000

Of course the other problem with Simmons is his obsession with the NBA, which means I am going to skip most of his columns from October to June anyway.

By: jmt4363

jmt4363 — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 02:33:52 +0000

I’ve never quite understood the rationale that Cook “sold out” or “schilled out” or however you want to put it. So, you’re telling me that if you were a comic with a tireless work ethic, trying to make it in your industry, and you catch a few breaks which allow you to star in less-than-funny movies with two of the most beautiful women in the world (while making a shit-ton of money) you would say no? Are you that righteous? I didn’t think so. Get off your damn high horse.

By: KC Resident

KC Resident — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 01:01:37 +0000

The first Simmons column I ever read was the NBA Atlanta Gold Club column. It was awesome. And for a couple years, Simmons was entertaining as hell.

Then, 2004 happened. Every single article was about the Red Sox that Summer. He was under the delusion the Sox were America’s team and we all cared about them. Folks like me, who enjoyed his columns, were turned off. If we saw the Red Sox were the topic, we’d not even bother reading it. Added bonus, the Pats were good again. When 75% of your columns have the same topic/theme, it gets old.

Just setting that up for this…

I’ve obviously read a lot of SImmons. He has always had the pulse of pop-culture for 20 and 30 year olds. Not what you or I might like specifically, but generally he was ahead of the curve for guys in their 20s/30s. I doubt Simmons has listened to more than 30 minutes of Dane Cook. He knew three years ago that folks thought the guy was completely overrated. He is just pandering to his audience.

Allow me to be Simmonsesque for a bit… Simmons is like that kid in jr. high who has no discernable qualities, but can make girls giggle and gets good grades and actually likes his parents. Guys hate him, yet allow him to hang out because he can do things. Has keys to the girl’s locker room. Steals pot from his older brother. Has a porn collection. Once high school starts, guys are getting their own pussy, scoring their own pot, and filming their own pornos (Gawd, why didn’t I grow up in this decade). They have no use for Simmons and he turns into a bitter, lonely kid who picks fights with other bitter, lonely kids to look cool. Except, it doesn’t work anymore as a way of getting friends.

His recent column that was smug, assholish, arrogant, contradictory, poorly written, and jaded was merely him grasping at straws trying to please everyone. Can’t be too hard on the Pats or I’ll lose my NE audience, can’t be too light or I lose the national audience.

Simmons hasn’t been overly relevant in a couple of years. It’ll be interesting to see if his new book tanks. I have a feeling in a couple of years, a majority of people will be more interested in Shanoff, Leitch, and Dick Jokes. If the commenters on this blog are any indication, it’s already happening.