Twittering has an Adrian Peterson feel to it, no? AP dives into the line three times, and then gallops for a long touchdown. You might skip a couple days of twitter, and then go nuts with like 10 updates in a day.

USC football coach Pete Carroll is on Twitter. But what nobody knows is that he’s deleted a ton of entries. We were able to find the deleted ones! Nobody else has been privy to these!

9:54, Jan 28 – You know what my plan is for signing day? Rub one out, shoot the shit with Reggie Bush and see if he can get me some free anything (people love to lavish him with gifts), play a quick 18 at Trump, and by four, hopefully, I’ll be sipping a Corona on Redondo Beach. The kids come to us. We chase no one.

11:02, Jan 25 – Keep getting strange prank calls on my cell phone; have this sneaking suspicion it’s either Jon Gruden working up the courage to ask for a job, or it’s Cassel getting back at me for never playing him.

7:15 Jan 22 – Rex Ryan has no clue how bad the dumpster fire is that he just vowed to put out. There’s a reason I was only in NY for one season, and it had nothing to do with my coaching, if you catch my drift … cough, Woody, cough.

3:14, Jan 19 - Leinart called me again. Third time today. He’s so depressed. What do I tell the guy? Take Warner out? Paris Hilton, beer bongs, and baby daddy payments are a bitch? You’ll never believe what worked: “At least you’re not in Carson Palmer’s spot.”

12:14, Jan 16 – Of course I’m ticked Sanchez is leaving. Kid has one really good game against a Penn State defense that didn’t give a shit and he thinks money and glory await? He’s going to get exposed and soil himself at the combine.

8:15, Jan 11 - Anyone else think Lendale looked extra slow today? Like fullback slow? Fact: He’s never driven by White Castle without stopping.

12:15, Jan 1 – Happy New Year! Unless you’re Rick Neuheisel. What a douche. Norton’s going to kick his ass. In fact, Norton’s dad – you know they called him Black Hercules? – wants in on the action. I’d care more, but I was profiled on 60 Minutes last month and Neuheisel is going nowhere.