The Federal Government has Barry Bonds. They have his garbage and his stale urine. They have his intimate pillow talk. They have turncoat ex-teammates. Five years of meticulous investigation and they have the bastard in the crosshairs. We finally will have the earth-rattling closure for which we’ve been waiting. Barry Bonds knowingly used performance-enhancing drugs.

We know Barry Bonds used steroids. He looks like a water buffalo meandering among mere humans. That doesn’t occur naturally. He cheated. So did many others in many different ways. It’s baseball. It’s not real life. Collude against him. Kick him out.

Barry Bonds probably committed perjury, when he told a grand jury he used the “cream” and the “clear,” but denied knowing they were steroids.  It’s a crime.  However, he lied to protect his livelihood.  He had reasonable suspicion the allegedly sealed testimony would be leaked.  It’s hard to fault his logic, considering the grand jury testimony was leaked, to the same reporter now investigating his perjury.

Bonds’ perjury was a crime, but his personal matter of conscience was irrelevant to the BALCO investigation.  He wasn’t caught in the act.  Federal investigators found something on which to hammer him and devoted five years creating a case to prove it.  Are we to assume that if Bonds had been an unknown heroin junkie, he would receive the same vigorous treatment?

Crimes are crimes and should be prosecuted.  But, there are unwritten standards of decency and common sense.

Police could wait outside freshmen dormitories at two in the morning breathalyzing wobblers.  They could round up 200 kids, cuff them and haul them down to the station.  They could charge them with everything, search their dorm rooms for contraband and track down all of their associates.  It would be legal, but the police don’t because it would be foolish, expensive and distract them from real criminals.

Bonds neither killed nor raped anyone.  He did not commit treason.  He threatened no one but opposing pitchers, many of them taking similar substances.  He may be a major league jerk, but he’s no hardened criminal.  He’s not OJ.  He should not be the target of a witch-hunt by jacked up investigators itching for a takedown, particularly in our name.  Where was the same diligence for Rafael Palmeiro?

The government so amped to pump up this production should show the same enthusiasm for alerting us, who are funding all of this, how much the Barry Bonds investigation has cost.

There are new drugs and new distribution networks.  There are new ways to avoid testing.  It’s deemed normal in the NFL that a 272lb man runs a 4.6 40-yard dash.   There are far more intriguing, relevant topics for an enterprise unit.