Considering how athletes have become targets in Chicago in recent years – among others Walker, Antoine and Curry, Eddy come to mind – Alfonso Soriano probably shouldn’t have an electric blue H2 pimped out with a sound system that can be heard in Iowa.

Didn’t he get the memo that poor is the new black? Wait till you see the hood ornament.

Nerdy high school memory: Of course we had two subs (10s) in our Volvo (oh yeah!) back in high school. It was cool!

And for nerds who still do have subs in the trunk, this music thread is for you.

Now, in young adulthood, we have to settle for two 12-inch cerwin vega subs hooked up to the flat screen. And if you must know, yes, we saw them thumping in the great movie Higher Learning and bought a couple. Have lasted over a decade, still provide spectacular sound.

Alfonso Soriano has a Big Ass Car Stereo (Home Run Derby)