Phil Mickelson, Now There’s a Funny Guy
Golf April 22nd. 2009, 12:45pm
If given the choice of playing a round with any three golfers currently living, Tiger’s an obvious choice, but so is Lefty. The last spot would be up for grabs, but if we could find another guy with this kind of humor, he’d be the pick:
Phil (loud enough for everyone to hear): “Gee Nick, I didn’t realise that you are such a big guy. How come you used to hit it so short?”
Faldo: “Listen Phil, when you shoot 19 under par to win the Open at St Andrews you can start giving me a hard time.”
Phil: “I understand that. But how come you hit it like such a pussy?”
Faldo: “I played golf the proper way.”
Phil: “Yeah, like my wife.”
Wow … Phil Mickelson Is Pretty Badass (Dogs that Chase Cars via the Scotsman)
68 Responses to “Phil Mickelson, Now There’s a Funny Guy”
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April 22nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Nick Faldo has three Masters and three Open titles
Mickelson couldn’t hold Faldo’s jock in his prime.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Mickelson was (maybe not still is) supposed to be a world-class cockbag
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
That is hysterical.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
1) Tiger
2) Justin Leonard
3) Ben Crenshaw
4) Tom Kite
314) Phyllis Mickletits
2524) Christina Kim
34219) Sergio Garcia
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
thats awesome.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
/of who I would like to play a round
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Buccos up early on the Marlins AGAIN
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
1) Tiger
2) Justin Leonard
3) Ben Crenshaw
4) Tom Kite
314) Phyllis Mickletits
2524) Christina Kim
8767583038264895056836252389) Sergio Garcia
/fixed for the world
1) Sergio Garcia
No one else even matters
/fixed for Spencer
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
No Corey Pavin? He was the reason I started watching golf as a kid.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Great mustache.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
1) Tiger
2) Happy Gilmore
3) John Daily
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I’d like to play around with Natalie Gulbis
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I don’t know that Phil’s shot was all that funny. Faldo had just smacked him down, and Phil’s best comeback is to call him a p****.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:05 pm
1) Tiger
2) Ty Webb
3) Justin Leonard
4) Ben Crenshaw
5) Tom Kite
314) Phyllis Mickletits
2524) Christina Kim
34219) Sergio Garcia
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
no his best line was “yeah, like my wife.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
And I’d go with Daly for the 4th spot–and shirts must stay on.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:08 pm
ben crenshaw is a world-class asshole.
phil should’ve just said, “im sorry i have to compete against the greatest golfer of all time and more quality players than any era in golf. i wasn’t lucky enough to get 6 majors against preposterously weak fields and play the most boring brand of golf ever seen on television.”
that would’ve been quite nice.
phil >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> faldo
faldo’s a good announcer tho.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:10 pm
1. Michael Jordan
2. Charles Barkley
3. O.J. Simpson(i wanted to be there when he catches the real killers on a golf course)
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
@ sponge
I got that part–not that funny. There aren’t many good responses to “scoreboard”–especially when you’ve got a bigger rack than your wife.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
In being a dick:
Faldo>>>>Mickelson
In being the better golfer:
Faldo>>Mickelson
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
1. tiger
2. phil
3. lee trevino
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
wonder if yesterday’s Vick thread prompted this
http://blogs.usatoday.com/gameon/2009/04/wednesday-eyeopener-3.html
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
spencer: I’d taken Tiger and Jack and die a happy man. Don’t even need a 4th.
Jack was my idol, and saw him play in person a few times, still kinda in his prime (’80 PGA at Oak Hill, for example). Pretty cool
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
get outta here.
faldo = luke donald…worst era in golf EVER.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@ spencer
I don’t doubt that Phil is better than Faldo (though I don’t know any different). Regardless, calling a guy a p**** and saying he plays like a woman is pretty low on the humor scale. #1? “Well, I just slept with your wife.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
FIGJAM has a punchable face.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
jpq…im jealous. they say jack in his prime was playing an entirely different game than everyone else. his old highlight films are the absolute best…that 1-iron he hit at 17 at pebble in the 1972 US Open still freaks me out. that shit’s just ridiculous.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I don’t pretend to be a golf aficionado, so I’ll toss this out to the other folks on here – Why do people ride Mickelson’s ass so much? Is it because he’s only won 3 majors, which looks insignificant compared to Tiger’s tally?
I know people rag him for his aw-shucks, goobery persona, but he seems to be a decent dude. No one disputes that Tiger is the G.O.A.T., but from all accounts he appears to be quite the dickbag when dealing with people. I dunno, as a golfing outsider I just can’t figure out why people go completely ape-shit over all things Tiger.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
oh, and arnold palmer would have to be on my list too.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Tiger – Nicklaus – Daly
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Chi Chi Rodriguez
Anna Rawson
Tom Watson
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Tiger
Craig Stadler
Rocco Mediate
Tiger would be taking this shit way too seriously while the rest of us were drunk and heckling him. Good times.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
spencer: you know I’m an old guy who played in college, so Jack to me is what Tiger is to the Anthony Kims and Rory McIlroy’s of today. If Jack was 32 and had today’s equipment, I honestly think he would beat Tiger 50% of the time (and I would give my left nut to see the two of them go at at).
Golf would be on another stratosphere in terms of interest
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
The Golden Bear disputes
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
same reason they go apeshit over MJ…he’s the all-time best. period.
because HE was the guy who was supposed to break jack’s records. phil was the guy who won a tourney as 20 year old amateur and was one of the most decorated collegians in the game. phil has more talent in his pinkie than 99% of the PGA tour pros so people expected the world from him.
sure 35+ wins, numerous major contentions, 3 majors and a players is heady stuff, and even more impressive considering WHO he’s going against, but people expected a lot more. i guess he’ll just have to settle for being outrageously rich and the man with the greatest short game in the history of golf.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
jpq…i don’t buy the equipment aspect. the courses jack was playing on paled in comparison to today’s in terms of course conditioning (especially the greens…which are night and day), the length of the rough and the narrow fairways.
that said, id kill to see what jack and tiger would do if they played against each other both in their primes with the same equipment. KILL.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:36 pm
i think every one on tour should play with the same exact equipment. and every year if a new set of clubs is made every single golfer gets it. dont say too expensive bcause tiger himself could afford to buy every golfer a brand new set of clubs once a weks if he wanted.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:37 pm
spencer: you gotta be kidding me w/ the equipment. You have NO IDEA what constituted equipment (and balls) back in the 60’s and 70’s. I remember when they came out with a graphite shaft, it was like “WOW”. Now, the clubs are so more forgiving of mishits as well as the balls maintaining their flight pattern it’s a completely different game.
The courses back then (even the best ones) wouldn’t qualify to host a Hooters event now. Most of the “old” best courses have had to either make major changes, or not even host a PGA event, as the players would tear it up. (Merion, Canterberry and Inverness up your way, etc).
These clubs get Senior Opens or US Amateurs because the pros would shoot 62 on them
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
i think every one on tour should play with the same exact equipment. and every year if a new set of clubs is made every single golfer gets it. dont say too expensive bcause tiger himself could afford to buy every golfer a brand new set of clubs once a weks if he wanted.
there is talk of having one tournament a year where all the players use the same ball (like they did in bowling this year), but the Tour Players said they would never do it (screw up their games for a one-week “gimmick”, endorsement contracts won’t allow it, etc). Biggest bunch of pampered pussies
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
it has nothing to do with that. i understand the equipment was a lot less advanced and required A TON more skill just to be able to get it off the ground, but the bottom line is that everyone had a relatively level playing field. it doesn’t matter what everyone was using because they were all using the same shit…just like today. it’s not like tiger is using some crazy equipment that makes him a million times better than the other guys.
the biggest difference is the ball…consistency and performance. even the graphite shafts and composite metal woods aren’t THAT big of a leap from the persimmons. sure, they’re more forgiving and longer, but the courses have adjusted. the playing field is still level, which is why i don’t buy the equipment argument when talking about tiger and jack.
i disagree. but what i do think they need to do is get A UNIFORM BALL for everyone.
the ball is the most technologically advanced piece of equipment in a golfer’s bag these days.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
calvin peete
charlie sifford
lee elder
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
worst, idea, ever!
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
ok does the nba let teams have a better ball than certain teams? or uniforms that make you run faster? does the nfl let teams have shoes that make you dramatically faster than your opponent? no they all have the same gear. how can we say one golfer is better than the other when he might just have better eguipment than the other?
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Never – As a 6′3″ golfer, finally being able to afford to have clubs custom fit to my stance, grips to match hand sizes, lie angles adjusted, etc. has been HUGE for my game. You can’t just give the guys the same off the rack equipment.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:51 pm
of course the equipment would be made to match your size. and the grips would be custom made for your grip or whatever but the golf club as a whole would be the same as the dude who is 5′8″
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
The other thing you’re not considering is that you’re limited to 14 clubs. There is definitive strategy in which clubs are in the bag for a given golfer on a given course. Pros constantly adjust their bag for what they’ll need that week. For example, the year Justin Leonard won the Players he put a 2-iron in his bag simply for one of the Par 3’s, which otherwise would have been between his 3-iron and 5-wood (yardage wise).
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
and spence what the fuck did you do to the mlj server?
/i know it isnt your fault but you’re the only mlj poster i can find so it is your fault
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
@mrejr8234 – Why should they be sized differently? In the NFL do they have different sized balls for athletes with smaller hands that want to play quarterback? Or balls that weight less for players with weaker arms?
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
different concepts, this sport is individual.
NASCAR, different engines, different brakes, etc (same tires though).
Tennis, different rackets
Sprinting, different unis, shoes.
Et cetera
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I have no knowledge when it comes to this, but my gut tells me Tiger is a nice guy disguised as an asshole, and Phil is a asshole disguised as a nice guy.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
tiger is an asshole and doesn’t care about the peons required to scribble about him. he’s tiger fucking woods, man.
phil is an asshole but likes getting $60 million per year from endorsements so he’ll put on a fake smile if it lines his pockets.
vijay is the most beloved pro amongst the pros, believe it or not. he’s a class act all the way around.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
The cheater? P’shaw, I say.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:07 pm
he was a victim of a racist SOB. the crunchy fijian always has a crowd on the range and is willing to give out any advice he can to help out the younger guys. he has everyone’s respect because he’s the hardest working (more than tiger) pro out there and is as competitive as it gets.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Who? Vijay the cheater?
Cmon.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
just look at their Masters post interviews. Phil still had his aw-shucks schtick going on even though he had just blown a huge chance to win the Masters, Tiger on the other hand, was pissed off, and didnt care if you knew it.
Phil needs to wear bigger shirts
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
@spencer. i appreciate your golf insight. i was surprised to hear that about vijay.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
No Boo Weekly?
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:36 pm
phil definitely needs to let someone else pick out his clothes.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
tara reid, anyone?
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
That one tit still sags lower than the other. Surprised she never got those fixed.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Wish I didn’t have to leave for three hours when there was an actual golf post. By the way, Phil’s nickname on the Tour is FIGJAM
Fuck
I‘m
Great
Just
Ask
Me
vijay is the most beloved pro amongst the pros, believe it or not
they fucking hate him, and the press does even more. Here’s one of many from the press, which sums up what I’ve heard about him. He basically ignores everyone, usualy without even speaking.
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/palmbeach/golfblog/entries/2007/03/19/not_singhing_his_praise.html
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
jpq…the press hates vijay for sure, but his fellow pros love him. this is fact.
fuck the press anyways, especially the golf press. they’re a bunch of fucking moronic, tiger fellaters.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
what fact? I’ve read stories over the years where they said he’s an asshole, basically
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Rory Sabatini is the most hated…
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:25 pm
the press hates vijay because he didn’t like the sideshow of annika playing with the men. i agreed with him on that.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:05 pm
[...] Phil Mickelson, Now there is a funny guy – [TheBigLead] [...]
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I would say Phil and Tiger have an equal amount of natural talent… and they both work equally hard, it’s just that Tiger is so, so, so much stronger mentally.
And Faldo may not have played during the best era and is also a huge prick, but he was still a damn good golfer – give credit where it’s due.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
“the press hates vijay for sure, but his fellow pros love him. this is fact.”
Umm… NO, no it is not a fact. I know firsthand that this isn’t true. They do, however, respect him.