Finding a decent picture of this woman was quite a chore. We highly recommend not googling her at work. If you accidentally click “video” instead of “news” the IT folks will be at your desk within seconds.

Palm Springs. Roger Clemens, his friends, “nasty suggestions” and a promiscuous adult-film star wannabe named Abby Rode (a name she must have chosen with headline writers in mind).

A Detroit stripper, who called a radio station with some racy allegations, and a budding porn star who went by the name of Abby Rode would emerge with their accounts of encounters with Clemens. But Rode had some E-mails and documentation to bolster her story. She described a rendezvous with Clemens in 2007 at the house he’d rented in Palm Springs during the Hope Classic, that had the ring of authenticity to it. According to Rode, a friend of hers arranged for her to meet with Clemens and his friends for dinner at a steak house and a trip back to the house.

There’s never been anything authentic about Roger Clemens. At least not since 1986.

Rode said she was in Clemens’ company for only one evening and it didn’t go particularly well. “The evening devolved,” she said. “His friends were going to have some other girls over. There were some nasty suggestions.€

A guy’s golf weekend and this girl shows up at your door? Perhaps Rocket wanted her to rub icy hot on his genitals.

She was under the impression that Clemens wanted to make sure she didn’t tell anyone about the encounter, and one of the friends paid her $5,000 to keep it quiet. “I accepted it,” she said. “Who wouldn’t? He didn’t make me sign anything or anything. His friend paid me with a credit card.€

The group had been disappointed on all fronts, according to Rode. “I guess I wasn’t impressed enough. They all seemed a little dejected that I wasn’t impressed.€

What a terrible wingman this guy is. Way to leave a paper trail, buddy. Were you that hard-up for the AMEX points?

Secret Life of the Rocket (NY Daily News)