Yardwork: The Passion of The Zambrano
Baseball May 28th. 2009, 11:00am
Cubs 5, Pirates 2: As you may know by now, Carlos Zambrano flipped out yesterday over a call at home plate. My favorite part of the meltdown was that Lou Piniella couldn’t help but smirk after Big Z ejected the umpire a la Frank Drebin style. Sadly, if Alfonso Soriano had any clue how to play left field, the runner would’ve advanced to second on Zambrano’s wild pitch instead of scoring to tie the game. Reed Johnson homered in the eighth, giving the Cubbies the lead for good.
O’s 12, Blue Jays 10: You know things are going really bad when you’ve lost Halladay’s last two turns through the rotation. Even worse, Doc left with a comfy 8-3 lead after seven innings only to see Baltimore put up five in the eigth to tie it. Worse than that, the Blue Jays scored two in the top of the 11th, setting up an epic Barbaro-hoof-kick-to-the-nuts loss, as the O’s won it in the bottom half on a three-run shot from Nolan Reimold. That’s nine straight losses for Toronto.
Giant 6, Braves 3: Randy Johnson won his 299th and did it in impressive fashion, going six innings and allowing just one run on three hits. In classic RJ form, instead of simply enjoying the win, he’s already bummed that his opportunity to win his 300th won’t be out West: “Of all the trips to do it on, it had to be on the East Coast one.€ That blows, he’ll have to fly his family first class all the way to D.C. to watch him throw baseballs.
Indians 12, Rays 7: For the first time this season, the Indians have won three straight. Ben Francisco had a three-run shot and finished with four RBI, but unless he left a flaming bag of poo in front of Rashard Lewis’ hotel room door, I’m afraid no one in Cleveland gives a shit. On a sad note, Indians owner Larry Dolan was hopitalized after suffering a minor heart attack yesterday morning.
Twins 4, Red Sox 2: Dice-K set a franchise record with four wild pitches and the Boston bats were dead for the second straight game. Still not sure how Nick Green continues to be their starting shortstop. With Papi falling apart before our eyes like Patrick Ewing in his final years, you got to think they make some kind of move real soon rather than wait until the trade deadline.
Reds 6, Astros 1: Bronson Arroyo threw a complete game on just 92 pitches while Jay Bruce took care of everything else, going 3-for-4 with two homers and four RBI. That’s four straight for The Big Red Machine.
Mets 7, Nats 4: Daniel Murphy had 5 RBI and the Mets are 5-0 in home run reviews! On a negative but amusing note, the Queens faithful already loathe “rookie phenom” Fernando Martinez as he failed to run out a pop fly that was dropped by the catcher.
Zambrano takes on Gatorade piñata:
[via The Friendly Blogfines]
28 Responses to “Yardwork: The Passion of The Zambrano”
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May 28th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Frank Drebin > Erin Andrews.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Porcello awesome as Tigers take the series in KC. Lead is back to 4 games in AL Central.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Carlos Zambrano is addicted to internet porn.
/It’s true.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:08 am
HA, +1,000.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:09 am
//Fixed
May 28th, 2009 at 11:10 am
well done.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Twins are only 4 (I think) back and have survived their worst part of the season, while the other two contenders are going to regress. Love it.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Longoria was 2-5. Sucks that Aki is lost for the rest of the year
Pat Burrell did not play
May 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Had to get his chest waxed again.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:16 am
It’s Enrico Pallazzo!!
May 28th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Had to get his pussy waxed again
there ya go
May 28th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Zambrano is the only reason to watch the Cubs. Used to be a Cubs fan, now there are no players with passion. Love that guy
May 28th, 2009 at 11:21 am
you call it passion, i call it fucking crazy. hate the cubs, not a zambrano fan, but that meltdown yesterday was epic.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:23 am
O’s 12, Blue Jays 10:
Since every write-up on this series has been 99% Blue Jays related, I’d like to take a second point out Adam Jones’ greatness to everyone who’s not an O’s fan or doesn’t own him in fantasy. Also, it’s nice to see the youngins coming along and succeeding in the Show. Next up: Matt Wieters and David Hernandez.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:25 am
We all have our vices in life. He didnt pick a bad one. He still aint got shit on Hal McCray.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Because the alternative is Julio Lugo?
May 28th, 2009 at 11:26 am
By “two other contenders” that will regress, I must assume you mean the Royals and the White Sox. Because, sorry, the Tigers are not regressing. At the end of the season, the Tigers will be the only team comfortably above .500 in the division.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:28 am
cracker jack
alcides escobar for clay bucholz straight up?
i’ll talk to my people, you talk to yours…:-)
May 28th, 2009 at 11:29 am
chelsea chris, while I disagree, I won’t argue because after last year’s embarrassing showing you deserve to get to talk a bit.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Jay Bruce!
May 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
The Tigers are pretty much the definition of frauds. They’ve only played two series against AL Beast teams, both of which they lost.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
@Ill: That’s true, it’s been all Jays, but I couldn’t ignore them blowing an 8-3 lead in this one after Halladay left. They’re a mess.
You’re right on Jones though. And Weiters is up tomorrow I believe. They got a nice young core.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:35 am
@cracker jack: That’s a sad state of affairs for Lugo if he can’t beat out Nick Green.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:45 am
We all have our vices in life. He didnt pick a bad one. He still aint got shit on Hal McCray.
Good point. I do love Zambrano’s reasoning for the elbow problems which landed him on the DL a few years ago: he was IMing his brother in Venezuela. Yeah sure.
Mostly I just hate Zambrano because he always destroys the Astros.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
TSH- you classy guy you. won’t even talk about how the Yanks are in first place.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
@Hernia – Those two cents were weighing my pocket down. No harm.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Tigers record against the division leaders in AL East and West along with 2nd and 3rd place in the AL Central:
Boston: 0-0
NYY: 1-2
Min: 1-4
KC: 4-2
Texas: 6-0
Total against the league leaders (AL Best): 12-8
May 28th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
@ark- He has a habit of melting down, ya know. Being a Cardinals fan, I’m sure you remember the time at Wrigley he plunked Edmonds after a warning had been issued(Edmonds had homered in a previous AB, and kind of “admired” it) and then just walked off the field. The guy is just psychotic.