O’s 7, Tigers 2: Matt Wieters was supposed to save the franchise. Instead, he went 0-for-4 and rookie pitcher Brad Bergesen stole the show, going eight innings and giving up two runs. Luke Scott is on fire.

Rays 5, Twins 3: Evan Longoria remains ridiculous as he drove in three runs, bringing his RBI total to 54. Tampa ended a season high five-game losing skid and look at that, B.J. Upton had two hits, he’s almost batting .200!

Cubs 2, Dodgers 1: Great pitcher’s duel between Ted Lilly and Chad Billingsley. The Cubbies squeaked out the win behind a sac fly from Fukudome in the seventh. Chicago upped their record to a filthy 1-19 when scoring under four runs.

Astros 6, Pirates 1: Brian Moehler has a 6.23 ERA and pitched a complete game. Credit the Pirates for sucking.

Phillies 5, Nats 4: The bizarre Raúl Ibañez MVP tour continues.

Mets 2, Marlins 1: Omir Santos is the greatest. And they replaced “Sweet Caroline” with “Meet the Mets” in the eighth inning, making the franchise a little less embarrassing than it was before.

Brewers 3, Reds 2: The Brew Crew won one for Braden Looper.

Blue Jays 6, Red Sox 3: Going to your classic uniforms is always a great recipe for snapping a nine-game losing streak. Big Papi benching watch: 0-for-4 with four men left on base.

Rockies 3, Padres 0: Rockies win! Triumph the Insult Comic Dog can sum this one up for the city of Denver: “No, no, I’m sorry, I’m very sorry, the correct answer is, who gives a shit”: