Texas 6, Houston 1: Pudge Rodriguez, who turns 38 in November, homered for the losers. Surprisingly, Pudge was not named in the Mitchell Report. He was, however, on the Rangers in 2002 with Palmeiro and Juan Gone. Things that make you go hmmm. Keeping with the negative tone, Ian Kinsler hit two bombs, and now has 17 on the season. His career-high is 20. Let the finger pointing begin! Tim Cowlishaw, feel free to write a snarky column about Kinsler being a suspect. Rick Telander already wrote one for Theriot, so check that if you need ideas. You know it’s on everyone’s mind.

Tampa Bay 12, Colorado 4: So much for the Rockies’ 11-game winning streak. Back to the basement, Rockies. It was nice for you to come up for air so people could remember you played in the World Series recently. Ha. Remember that?

Toronto 8, Philadelphia 3: Who cares that the Blue Jays battered the Brad Lidge-less Phillies bullpen for five in the 10th - Roy Halladay threw effortlessly and may pitch Saturday against the Nationals! Uh, Cito Gaston, do you really need him to throw against the Nats? Why not save him for a real team, like Cincinnati? Ok, fine, the Reds are just a .500 team destined for 76 wins. Give one of the best pitchers in the AL another week’s rest.

St. Louis 11, Detroit 2: Albert Pujols, aka trade bait, homered for the 23rd time this season. A special prize for the man or woman who can come up with the greatest, most realistic trade for the best player in baseball. Ok, the prize isn’t that special - a homey the clown club to the head.

Yankees 5, Washington 3: We’ll briefly mention this victory because Wang’s pitching tonight and that won’t end well. Cano went 4-for-4. You want to talk trade? The Nationals should ship Zimmerman somewhere for a few good prospects and if you combine those guys with Strasburg and maybe Bryce Harper, the Nationals could have something … in 2012.