Skee-Ball: What Rappers and NBAers Match Up?
Music, NBA, Video July 8th. 2009, 6:00pm
This is fun, and an experiment, and certainly not complete. But if there’s as much intersection between the NBA and hip-hop as there is, why not try to find some good comparisons for players and rappers?
Kobe Bryant is Lil Wayne: Forget Wayne’s actual lyrical comparisons in “Kobe Bryant” the song, and the “No, I won rings for my performance/I’m more Kobe Bryant of an artist” line from his seminal “Dough Is What I Got.” These are two guys who came into the game underrated and squeaky clean (Wayne didn’t curse at first; remember Kobe’s McDonald’s ads?) and dwelled in the shadows for a while. They then let controversy swirl around them, and through incredibly hard work turned their considerable individual talents into personal, and, later, team brilliance. Other evidence: This photo.
Rasheed Wallace is Busta Rhymes: Veterans known for their loudness (and possessed of oft-forgotten versatility) early on, ‘Sheed and Busta are best when a part of something greater, with the Pistons or on a massive remix. And both have fallen off the face of the earth in recent years. But things may be looking up: Busta has a song with Big Tigger that is excellent, and Wallace will have one last good title shot as a Celt.
Allen Iverson is Pusha T or Malice of the Clipse: They’re Virginia boys who know one thing (taking tons of bad shots or rapping about slinging cocaine) and unrepentantly do just that. For this, in some eyes, they are revered; their respective crossovers are also fun larks. The schtick may be getting tired, though: Iverson’s still unsigned and the buzz on the next Clipse album has been quieted with an uneven run of leaks.
LeBron James is Jay-Z: Freakin’ duh. And it’s not just because of the money or the video or the friendship: It’s all about the “I’m a business, man” mentality. Plus, Jay, when he gets lyrically punked by a nobody, responds poorly, much as LeBron may have with this dunk brouhaha.
Gilbert Arenas is Charles Hamilton: Gilbert is all sorts of strange; Hamilton’s offbeat enough to claim Sonic the Hedgehog as a full-on inspiration. He’s fully in cult-of-personality mode, is far too honest for his own good, and generally does stupid, stupid things to the dismay of observers. And much like Gilbert, he’s got a love-hate relationship with the blogosphere. (Tempting, but no, for Gil: Wale. His career is on an upward arc much different from Arenas’, and the DC connection isn’t a good enough match.)
Dwyane Wade is Kanye West: Each, after a period of semi-obscurity (Kanye’s producer years; Wade’s time at Marquette) came into his respective game as a fresh face with some flaws. Wade got knocked for his height; Kanye got told to deepen his voice. Then both Chi-town boys developed into superstars while getting some help from “big brothers” (’Ye had Jay, Wade had Shaq), and Kanye dubbed himself D-Wade in verse: “In two years Dwayne Wayne became Dwyane Wade.” But, maybe most compellingly, both guys got burned by their women, and responded in turn, with an album and a lawsuit, giving them similar dark sides. (That both get continually overlooked as potential “Best player/rapper” candidates doesn’t hurt; that Wade’s as vanilla as a public persona as Kanye is loqacious does.)
Chris Paul is Drake: Both guys have serious talent and marketability, and they certainly get the blognoscenti of the world abuzz. But each could get held back by a New Orleans crew incapable of fully showcasing their skills. And there’s mutual admiration: CP3 shouts Drake at the end of this song, while Drizzy has called himself “the Chris Paul of this fall” on wax.
Did I miss anything? Yell at me below.
The title, of course, is a reference to this:
46 Responses to “Skee-Ball: What Rappers and NBAers Match Up?”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.

July 8th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Haha! I think this is my favourite post on the site so far. Drizzy! T.O represent!
BTW I would give 2000-2002 Shaq/Kobe as Tupac/Biggie. Kobe = Tupac for being self-driven, working hard (Pac recorded ATLEAST 3 songs a day the moment he got bailed out by Suge), and being quite selfish and aloof at times (Pac basically isolated himself with paranoia after being shot)..Shaq is Biggie for the wide appeal, but both were lazy fucks who, while really great, could have left so much more of a legacy had they put in a little more work.
Plus, Shaq and Biggie did a song together.
Drake seems more like a Brandon Roy/Deron Williams to me. People don’t know him for now too much, but he’s going to blow up majorly in the coming years.
Agree with the Kobe/Lil Wayne thing. The “best rapper alive” and the “best player alive” debate will spark hundreds and hundreds of pages worth of blog discussion; both are capable of that.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
I like it. Except, Wade is a FAR better basketball player than Kanye is a rapper. It’s not even close.
/fuck Kanye
And, David Stern approves this message for the NBA Hip-Hop Generation.
/that’s racist - I’ll add it myself so someone doesn’t have to.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Kanye’s Graduation album is one of my favourite albums for this decade. I didnt like Dropout and Registration at all..but graduation has massive appeal. I guess Graduation would be to Kanye what the ‘06 ring was for Wade. However, they both fell off after that. Kanye’s subpar 808 album, and Wade basically going from champion to a 15 win season in a 2 yr period. He bounced back this year, now lets see what Kanye can do.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
This post is racist
needs an Indiana Pacer compared to Uncle Kracker
July 8th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Ron Artest and DMX?
July 8th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Have you heard any 2009 Kanye? He’s been great.
THEY DON’T KNOW (DUN-NUH, DUN-NUH)
WHO HE BE
The easy comp for Ron is Nas; both QB guys, both definitely doing their dances to their own drums. I just don’t think the profiles fully match up.
Also, DMX is authentically bipolar, says his Wiki. I’m not sure it matches Ron.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
So is Wilt Chamberlain, Eazy-E? You know, both dead, liked to bang anything and everything.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
needs an Indiana Pacer compared to Uncle Kracker
What? You dissin’ Scalabrine?!
July 8th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Iverson relates well to Eminem’s “fuck off and leave me alone” schtick.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Weezy curses on I Need A Hot Girl. Or are you talking about his pre-teen years?
July 8th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
the rap game has fallen off so hard since the mid to early nineties it’s sad. I stopped listening years ago.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Anyone remember Scal’s song dissing Lebron in 08?
“FUCK LEBRON UP!”
July 8th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
No John Legend?
July 8th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Chris Paul should be Dr. Dre. Both a producers who make everyone else good.
I’ve never heard of this Drake guy, but I bet he sucks.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I’m talking about Hot Boys and Tha Block is Hot-era Wayne.
Hmmm. This is interesting. Em is a lot more versatile than AI, though they both fit the “poster boy for something” metric. And Em’s a lot more successful, even in his reduced Encore/Relapse state, than AI has been of late.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Deshawn Stevensen as Souljah Boy!
DMX has to be Ron Ron.
LL Cool J = Allen Iverson. He’s still around, but is never going to be relevant again. Plus chicks seem to dig them.
Eminem = Larry Bird. Great white hope, multiple rings (platinum records), and a great legacy. Let’s not count Relapse in this.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Tim Duncan-Rakim: Both are are quietly really good. Neither are flashy.
Obviously I only listen to rap from the way back as well.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Testify, Jmorris.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Erick Dampier as Mannie Fresh.
Fatasses.
Mannie Fressh is not traditional rapper I know, but his verse on Juvy’s “Back That Ass Up” is BY FAR the worst verse i’ve ever heard in my life.
“Big thick chick…ride a hummer chick
bang her like a motherfuckin drummer chick”
July 8th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
The Birdman is obviously and without a doubt The Birdman.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
agree with morris .. i couldn’t tell you the difference between all these ‘lil’ rappers … the only time i know when anyone’s good is when i need to download songs and go to the billboard top 100 for inspiration (and the hot 97 playlists)
July 8th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Last one, Kevin Duckworth-2Pac & Biggie. All died tragically and too young.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Rip Hamilton as Talib Kweli?
Everyone knows he’s great but he’s always kinda in the background. And without Chancey Billups (Hi-Tek) putting down his beats (running the point), he can’t be as great as he once was.
It’s a stretch, but I think it fits.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Bison Dele is clearly Tupac and Biggie, as all three deaths remain shrouded in mystery.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
@Andy: Well Em changed rap completely with his arrival and AI is the sole reason the cornrows era ever began in the NBA.
Both with insane influential power.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
For this to work, Duncan would need to have Jordan’s number of titles.
/that’s a bannin’
It’s a good thing I wrote this post, then, because I couldn’t come up with anything sufficiently terrible enough to be the Black Eyed Pe…oh, wait, the Clippers.
Seriously, keep ‘em coming. I’m still not sold on Ron-Ron as DMX; Birdman Andersen has talents Birdman can’t match; did Jordan ever name-check Kweli like Jay did with “If skills sold, truth be told/I’d prob’ly be, lyrically Talib Kweli”?
July 8th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Wait, are you equating Kweli to Jordan? I just don’t like his stuff after Hi-Tek as much. And I like the 96-98 Bulls more than the 91-93 Bulls. Having a character like Rodman (DMX?) will do that.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
/recanted, read it wrong.
I read it wrong.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I saw this after this posted: Weezy and Kobe, interviewed.
But unless you’re in the Iverson-was-mini-MJ camp, I find it hard to compare them on talent. Iverson’s scoring titles match up with Em’s sales, but Em won Grammys and has had critics fawn over him his whole career.
Then again, Clipse never really got near AI levels of fame, except for “Grindin’.”
July 8th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
sorry to quibble, but Wayne curses a lot on I Need A Hot Girl, which was on the 2nd Hot Boys LP and came out the same year as The Block Is Hot.
The only reason I say anything is because I don’t ever remember him having a Lil Bow Wow type innocence.
/Wayne also has a pretty raunchy verse in Project Bitch.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Also, more Kobe/Weezy pics. It’s like the Internet wants me to realize I did this a day early.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Well, Chamillionaire doesn’t curse now and he’s plenty raunchy, too; it’s still a piece of info Weezy will forever have attached to him. He was never pop star clean like Bow Wow, though.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
But unless you’re in the Iverson-was-mini-MJ camp, I find it hard to
Dude. Grammys? Jethro Tull won a Grammy for best Heavy Metal Band in the same year that Metallica released …And Justice for All.
Let’s not toss AI in the dustbin of history so quickly.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
I keep doing the same thing with the quotes. Stupid whiskey.
July 8th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Yeah, and Steely Dan won a Grammy over Eminem. I know.
But I’m still not seeing AI quite at Em’s level. He certainly stands taller than Clipse, but the connections with VA and single-minded focus were strong, and allowed me to use that lame little crossover line.
July 8th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Snow and Adam Morrison
July 8th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Cheers to you sir. Their mark on their respective professions will be impossible to forget.
/sprays Olde English like a SuperSoaker
July 8th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Lifetime achievement award. If Em ends up with half the classic catalogue that Mssrs. Becker and Fagan own, then we can speak.
/Old’d
//Still right
July 8th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
AI is Jewelz. Everyone forget about that? I can’t recall, but did any of his album ever leak out?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Iverson#Controversy
July 8th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
That’s way too easy. Kobe rapped, too; he’s not Kobe.
And, no, I don’t think his album leaked, but if you think any of these are real, it may as well have.
July 8th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Meant to be a joke…poor at that.
July 8th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Shaq rapped too.
/piling on
July 8th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
No worries. I understand where you’re coming from.
But, Allen Iverson the rapper = Damon Jones the baller.
And Shaq the rapper is like, eh, Brendan Haywood the baller.
July 8th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
I dont do that, cause my name Shaquille!
I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed em!
Kobe’s verse on K.O.B.E is so shit…is it just me or do Kobe and AI have no flow when they’re rapping, they just read off thier lyrics in a straight way without acknowledging the beat at any point. Part of rapping is acknowledging the beat and flowing with the beat, not forcing multiple syllables.
Ahhh, it feels good to hear that Shaq rap now in 2009. Fucking fatass, trying to play the ‘09 title off like he wanted it to happen.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:07 am
“not Christian Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning”
Shaq had four albums and went platinum, can’t deny his sales even if you deny his skills.
A.I. = Soulja Boy
Only one skill(scoring/making teenage girls dance)
spawned many wannabes with little talent
old school hates them both(too selfish/no effing talent)
won’t leave a legacy when all is said and done
T-Mac/Vince Carter = Nelly
Talented, popular/ more flash than substance
July 9th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Not sure you could call him an NBA player, but it just fits too well:
Len Bias = Big L