Last night Joel Hanrahan, who was dealt to the Pirates in a late June blockbuster, picked up his first win of the season after the Nats finished a suspended game from May with the Astros, winning 11-10 in 11 innings. Only the Washington Nationals could win a baseball game where the winning pitcher of said game was over 1,500 miles away on his off day in Philadelphia.

To your right is Hanrahan at a poetry reading he recently co-hosted with Thornton Melon.

Astros 9, Nats 4: Fittingly, following the completion of the suspended game and with only the help of pitchers physically present, the Nats got drilled like Tobias Beecher.

Dodgers 11, Mets 2: It’s already been obscenely ugly for the Mets this season, but they always manage to find new, inventive ways to embarrass themselves. This time, a starstruck member of their coaching staff was taking pictures of Manny during the game last night. And no, that’s not for any kind of analysis — they have real video cameras for that. For this pathetic display, all Mets coaches should be required to ride Pee-Wee Herman’s bicycle to the mound every time they visit with pitchers for the rest of the year.

Cards 5, Brewers 1: Joel Piñeiro pitched his third complete game of the season (3 H 1 ER, 5 K), the two previous of which were shutouts. Still, he’s Joel Piñeiro, which means that even with the win, his record is 7-9.

Rays 3, Blue Jays 2: David Price, who’s been all over the place his last four starts, outdueled Roy Halladay, going six and giving up one run. I’ll let Joe Madden take it from here — “In order to beat Roy Halladay, you have to pitch well.” This guy has to be a Belichick disciple.

Phils 9, Reds 6: Petie lurks. He’s gotta come back, somewhere, anywhere. But who could possibly replace Nelson De La Rosa? Gotta be The Beet.

Indians 10, White Sox 8: Just when you think you’ve finally solved the riddle of Kelly Shoppach, he smacks a grand slam and then tricks you into walking him with the bases juiced. He finished with five RBIs.

Giants 9, Padres 3: Lincecum had a no-no going into the seventh, the 22nd time that’s happened in the majors this year. Much like all those other times, nothing historic happened.

Yanks 6, Twins 4: In their last game at the Hanky Dome, the Yanks completed the sweep behind a combined four RBIs from Cody Ransom and Brett Gardner. Here’s a look at the Twins soon-to-be new home, Target Field. Like, an actual look. To the right is easily one of my favorite moments at the Metrodome.

Mariners 3, Rangers 1: King Felix (8 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 7 K). Ichiro went 3-for-4, bringing his average to a filthy, Wade Boggs-like .361.