Phils 4, Cubs 1: Jayson Werth hit a three-run shot in the bottom the 13th to win it, and then managed to rile up the home crowd even further by challenging Christian to a ladder match. That’s 10 in a row for the Phils. Standard procedure.

Indians 2, Blue Jays 1: In two starts since the break, Cliff Lee has pitched two complete games and given up a total of two runs. Watch Boston come out of nowhere to swoop him up. And since we’re here, Ricciardi said, “At this point, it’s probably unlikely that we’ll trade Doc.€ That obviously means a deal is just hours from completion.

Nats 4, Mets 0: The Mets were blanked for the fifth time in 13 games. Last night’s shutout special took place in 2 hours, 9 minutes. Baseball is alive in Queens.

Rangers 4, Red Sox 2: Rangers starter Tommy Hunter was impressive, holding the Sox to one run on four hits over six innings. It’s been awhile since we’ve checked in on Big Papi — he’s batting a blistering .224.

Rays 3, White Sox 2: Patty Burrell walked with the bases juiced in the ninth to tie things up, and Carlos Peña hit a sac fly for the go-ahead run. Bobby Jenks was awful. In four of his last five appearances he’s given up at least a run.

Angels 10, Royals 2: Erick Aybar was 4-for-5 with 3 RBIs, but that still doesn’t excuse him for spelling his name like an indecisive freak.

Angels 8, Royals 5: Ervin Santana was back to being awful, but it’s the Royals, he still got the win.

Brewers 2, Pirates 0: Braden Looper, the Brewers version of Joel Piñeiro, pitched seven scoreless innings to pick up his ninth win. To steal a page from the Indians grounds crew, he’s still shitty. And he reminds me of Wallace.

Tigers 9, Mariners 7: Seattle starter Garrett Olson went 1 1/3 innings and allowed seven runs. Quite a showing.

It’s acceptable to hum along to this soothing symphony:

This, on the other hand, sounds like a jingle used for a painful interoffice orientation video: