TBL Investigation: That was Easy. We Found that Perverted NFL Analyst That Was Suspended.
ESPN, Media Gossip/Musings January 6th. 2007, 4:00am
The results are in from this morning’s guess the perverted NFL analyst contest. The responses veered from the bizarre (Suzy Kolber, Pam Ward) to the unknown (Derrin Horton). Before we reveal the final tally and an insider’s confirmation of who our Camera Phone Bandit was, here’s a quick refresher on the initial item, which came from Sportsline columnist Mike Freeman:
Media entry. The NFL analyst who shall not be named that took a picture of his penis with a cell phone camera and has shown it to numerous, uncomfortable women, then was suspended by his network for it. Absolute true story. Please make sure to clean off the mirror when you are done with it.
Leading the way with five votes was the only sane NFL voice at ESPN, John Clayton. Running a close second was Fox’s ample analyst, Bill Mass, who collected three votes. ESPN’s Sean Salisbury was the lone other multiple vote-getter. He had two.
Drumroll please: An “insider” writes: “It’s 100% [ed. allegedly!] Sean Salisbury. Also check Pro Football Talk. They mentioned something along these lines awhile ago and even called ESPN about it. I can’t believe nobody picked up on this.”
Good thing we checked. Because Pro Football Talk has it here. Their last line is an absolute gem, despite its cryptic nature: “In fact, we were so surprised when we heard the news that we wish we’d taken a picture of our reaction with our Sprint phone, so that we then could show it to some of our friends.”
28 Responses to “TBL Investigation: That was Easy. We Found that Perverted NFL Analyst That Was Suspended.”
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January 6th, 2007 at 5:22 am
I don’t know why, but I’m not surprised.
January 6th, 2007 at 5:50 am
He does a sports talk radio show here in Chicago in the mornings.
I’ve never called a sports radio show before, but I do believe I’ll be making a phone call on Monday morning.
Oh, and by the way, Salisbury used the show all week to try to get a date with Susanna Homan. Homan does a column every week in the Chicago Sun-Times about the social scene.
She’s really fucking hot, so I don’t blame him for that, but it only further confirms the fact that this is totally something he would do.
I don’t know how to link in the comment box cuz I’m a fucktard, but here’s the URL to a pic of Homan.
http://www.unitedhellenic.org/PRESS_RELEASES/november_2005/UHAC_2004_BANQ_pictures/Susanna%20Homan.jpg
January 6th, 2007 at 5:51 am
Oh, and by the way, he got the date.
Fucking douchebag.
January 6th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
I would have guessed Trey Wingo myself. I heard that Salisbury, although married, ditched the ring long time ago, as he ran through a number of the Atlanta Falcon cheerleaders, which shocked me. You’d think they’d have higher standards and cut their teeth on Vick. For all his self-serving bantering, my lasting memory of the third tier back up was him coming into games long lost and only stinking the stadium up further with interceptions.
January 6th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
wait, he was on sportscenter on Friday, he hasn’t been suspended
January 6th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
WCT - The suspension happened earlier this season. October or November.
January 6th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
um, showing his prick gets him only suspended, while harold reynolds gives an innocuous hug at a fucking boston market and he gets fired?
January 6th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
I second the Big Picture. Why is Salisbury’s ass still employed while HR is looking for work?
January 7th, 2007 at 12:33 am
HR was fired for repeated violations, not just one occurence.
January 7th, 2007 at 12:49 am
Cuz HR is black, and supposedly, it wasn’t his first “offense.”
Also, if ESPN fired Sean Salisbury, there’d be 15 and a half hours of air time they would need to fill. It’s either WSOP reruns or Sean Salisbury. That’s all they’ve become.
January 7th, 2007 at 1:29 am
This just in…
Sean Salisbury names his penis as a Top 5 MVP candidate.
January 7th, 2007 at 5:22 am
Fornelli, I’d take the reruns.
January 7th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
He always reminded me of Jim Cunningham……from Donnie Darko. Weird.
January 7th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Why are the majority of commentators ESPN hire guys who haven’t won anything? What does Hoge or Salisbury, or Kruk and Steve Phillips know? Didn’t Phillips run the Mets into the ground? I mean seriously, do the suits at the Worldwide Leader sit around and say ‘you know, I think that the viewers really enjoy the input of Meril Hoge. I think we should give him an extension’. Why not get some guys who have won something? And the guys on there that have won only have half a brain (see Playmaker, Irvin).
January 7th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
I don’t know about that - I saw Sean on ESPN last night giving a preview of today’s playoff. Could be that it was a taped segment from before his suspension and they went ahead and ran it anyway, since all it consisted of was a fly around of score predictions from all of their NFL analysts, but still…
January 7th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I know how to spell my name
Sean deserves to be restated if only to debunk rumours that his Johnson is sole reason he’s a big Dick
January 7th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
I’ll confirm. I’ve actually seen the picture, after being asked “wanna see my baby picture”. Every female that saw it wanted more and was not offended.
January 10th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Is this really a bad thing, he showed off bird to some chicks, so the dudes a freak, at least he’s not poking underage boys. Cheating on your wife is a manly American tradition that should be celebrated.
January 10th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
What a loser…he sent it to my girlfriend while trying to pick her up. You want to see it? I usually get drunk and send it to all my buddies.
January 13th, 2007 at 5:31 am
Does Sean have a dick? No shit. I am stunned. He appears to be a dickless wonder.
January 13th, 2007 at 5:33 am
If you ordered for a trainload of assholes and they sent you Sean Salisbury, you would have to pay.
January 16th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I have also been witness to the picture. He shows it to almost everyone he meets. He will ask chicks he has slept with if they want to take a picture of it as a memento (can we say “freak”). The guy is a complete and total @ss. It is a wonder that anyone ever married him. I cannot believe that ESPN wants a guy like this on their show; not exactly a good example to the kiddies.
January 16th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
No surprise, the guy is the biggest blow-hard I’ve ever heard on TV.
January 20th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
I have lost all respect for the career backup QB. He has a lot of nerve critiquing anyone. Dont be surprised if ESPN 1000 Chicago dumps his sorry ass. Chi-town is going to run his sorry ass into the ground. Real smart, you big dummy.
February 1st, 2007 at 4:21 am
yo, salisbury! I thought you were a mormon? Nice job! I’m sure you’re pretty proud of yourself! What a joke.
February 21st, 2007 at 4:12 pm
I have seen Sean’s hog. It is huuuuuge. The thing looks like a Pringles can or something.
Definitely a baby arm holding an apple. Its a monster.
No wonder he is so proud, but he should be smarter than this.
I saw his hog while urinating at Ruth’s Chris Steak house in Baltimore. Sean had to stand back from the urinal and well, you cant miss a sight like that. I wanted to hang myself for not being half as blessed.
So Im glad he got canned, I was jealous.
February 22nd, 2007 at 2:52 pm
sally’sberry is hard to listen to and harder to look at. if God gave him a “hog” to make up for the over-all mistake, so be it.
April 13th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
BY SHOWCASING HIS WEINER HE WAS JUST BEING FRANK WITH THEM