jason wittenWhat an awesome summer! Terrell Owens was released, the practice bubble collapsed, Martellus Bennett rapped again (Black Olympics!), and Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson (allegedly at an IHOP, he might have banned her from his property, and some photographers are spreading a rumor that he hooked up with Blame it on Rio’s Michelle Johnson). Topping all that – doughy Wade Phillips opened training camp by getting serious – he banged his fist on the table and proclaimed, “It’s time to win.” If all of this doesn’t add up to an underwhelming 7-9, then wait until we get to the offseason losses!

Obligatory non-sequitur video: Come on, you can totally see Romo and Witten and their boys blaring this while on the prowl in Texas.

Coolest player: Miles Austin. Only because we covered him when he was a multi-sport athlete in high school. Real nice kid. 2nd place – Tony Romo. A writer who covers the Cowboys told us about a year ago that Romo was a reader of this blog. We will continue to try and get an interview with him. A former colleague had breakfast with him once and said he couldn’t be a nicer guy. From undrafted to QB of the most popular team in the league? Dating Sophia Bush and Jessica Simpson? What’s not to like? 3rd place – Marion Barber, who is the toughest RB to tackle in the NFL. There isn’t a better stiff arm in the league.

Schedule: It’s difficult. First two home games are against playoff teams (Giants, Panthers), but the first three road games are against teams with new QBs and new coaches (Tampa, Denver, KC). We’re not kidding when we say Dallas might not win a road game after the bye (Eagles, Packers, Giants, Saints, Redskins). In December and January, the only two teams that visit Dallas are Super Bowl contenders – Chargers, Eagles). By our count, that’s 17 losses.

Vegas: The Cowboys over/under for wins is nine in some places; here, it’s 9.5.

Odd Roster Observation, I: The Cowboys have four players on the roster from Florida State: S Jerome Carter, OL Montrae Holland, WR Willie Reid, S Pat Watkins.

Felix Jones is Underrated: Record last year with rookie sensation Felix Jones from Arkansas in the lineup: 4-1. The loss was an overtime defeat at Arizona … when Jones left injured in the 1st half.

The Cowboys as Fast Times at Ridgemont High Characters: Martellus Bennett as Spicoli. Wade Phillips as Mr. Vargas. Jerry Jones as Mr. Hand. DeMarcus Ware as Charles Jefferson. Tony Romo as Mark Ratner. Jason Witten as Mike Damone. Patrick Crayton as Judge Reinhold.

Offseason Losses Outweigh Offseason Gains: Dallas lost DE Chris Canty to the Giants, LB Greg Ellis to the Raiders, DT Tank Johnson to the Bengals, LB Zack Thomas to the Chiefs, WR Terrell Owens to the Bills, and S Roy Williams to the Bengals. Gains? LB Keith Brooking from Atlanta and DE Igor Olshanksy from San Diego. The only way that offseason grade is a C is if you think getting rid of Owens is an upgrade.

Draft: Had 12 picks. None in the first two rounds. And none are expected to crack the starting lineup.

Odd Roster Observation, II: With Roy Williams now the team’s No. 1 receiver, and with Jon Kitna as Romo’s backup … yup, those two hooked up in Detroit on that 2007 Lions team that opened 6-2 and then lost seven of eight to end the season.

Prognosis Negative: Everyone hearts the Giants and Eagles in this division. The Redskins picked up Albert Haynesworth. For the first time in two seasons, we’re not picking the Cowboys to reach the Super Bowl. While they play a tough schedule, here’s the optimist in us: There’s no way the secondary is that bad again, the backfield of Barber and Jones has the potential to be one of the best in the league, and with Romo freed from the incessant demands of Terrell Owens, he’ll be relaxed and confident in the pocket. Though it’s more of a hunch than anything, we think the Eagles or Giants are a surprise letdown, and the Cowboys win 10-11 games and get into the playoffs.

2009 NFL Preview: Philadelphia Eagles

2009 NFL Preview: NY Giants