‘The Worst Columnist in America’
Uncategorized January 18th. 2007, 9:07pm
Anyone heard of Rob Parker? If you reside in Detroit, you definitely know who we’re talking about. Detroit is home to Parker, who is widely regarded as the worst columnist in America. He incoherently stumbles through column after column for the Detroit News. (Albom and this clown in the same city? And Millen? Bummer.)
We’ve never met Parker and rarely read him, but somehow, he finagled his way onto Cold Pizza this week, opposite another talking hack, Skip Bayless.
According to a tipster, Parker – whose radio show was recently cancelled – has been boasting for quite some time about his ‘tryout’ on the fledging ESPN mid-morning gabfest.
“He’s the only guy dumb enough to not see that the show is the Titanic. Everyone is running from the show, and he’s trying to get on board.”
The list of transgressions against Parker is long and distinguished, but there’s no need to completely put the guy on blast. So we’ll leave it to you, the reader: “Parker was run out of Newsday and the Detroit Free Press because he was terrible … they both wanted him to take elementary writing courses, and he refused to do it.”
We just turned on something called First and 10 and Parker’s on there, too. He just said: “Absolutely Tony Dungy should be fired if the Colts lose this week. He and I have something in common, and it’s not the color of our skin. We have the same amount of Super Bowl rings.”
Wow.
Rob Parker’s at it Again (Baseball Fever)
16 Responses to “‘The Worst Columnist in America’”
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January 18th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
I love how some people hang on as journalists, despite there obvious shortcomings with the English language. It makes perfect sense, considering the amount of great writers who couldn’t get a job at a major daily newspaper these days if their father owned the place (Wait — maybe that WOULD do it).
January 18th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Without question the worst.
Turned into Cold Pizza (ashamed to admit that) and heard his Dungy ‘analysis’. Then actually used TiVo on the show (even more ashamed) to catch that one more time.
Right. fire Dungy. Clearly that be the smart thing to do. Coming from the guy who constantly strokes Lloyd Carr and Tommy Amakers cock. (and yes, there’s only one between the two)
January 18th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Absolutely. The only reason he’s still with the News is because he’s one of those guys that when you read him you say ‘what an idiot, I can’t believe he said that shit’, and then the next day you read him again, to see if he can come up with some more bullshit. Paul Davis played for four years at Michigan State, and every year Parker would say ‘my sources tell me Davis is entering the draft’. After Davis’ senior year, Parker was actually right for a change. I believe he even called Tom Izzo overrated. Anyway you cut it, he’s a douchebag.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Rob Parker is one of the dumbest writers of all time, no doubt about it. He constanly writes to get your attention with his ludicrous statements. But now look at him, he’s on ESPN! If I did my job as bad as Parker, my boss would have put me into rehab because he would be certain I was on drugs. I would argue that Drew Sharp from the D is just as bad but I would still kick Parker in the nuts if I saw him.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
So ESPN gets rid of Jason Whitlock (one of the best) and has replaced his African-American voice with Jemele Hill and Rob Parker (two of the worst)?
Why am I not surprised?
January 18th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
When there’s something strange…In your neighborhood…
Who can can you call??
Ooops, wrong hack. I was thinking Ray Parker.
January 18th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
What he recently did was call Izzo out, saying that Izzo was screwing with a player who transferred from State’s eligibility (Brandon Cotton). It was later revealed that this was utter bullshit. He also seems to have a stick up his ass when it comes to the Tigers’ GM Dave Dombrowski, nitpicking every little thing he does so he doesn’t have to give him any credit.
January 19th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Damn ESPN, pass me the cheese!
January 20th, 2007 at 8:16 am
I was at Newsday when Parker was there. He was hired because they wanted a “black voice.” They really scraped the bottom of the barrel. He quickly became the running joke of the sports department — even among the PC crowd. People wondered how far he went — in elementary school! If he were white, he could NOT get hired at any paper that required a working knowledge of English.
January 20th, 2007 at 9:29 am
Apparently he got hired at Newsday, Mike.
And I’d be careful with leveling attacks like:
“Parker was run out of Newsday and the Detroit Free Press because he was terrible … they both wanted him to take elementary writing courses, and he refused to do it.”
Look, there are way too many black sports writers out here for large circulation dailies like Newsday or the Free Press to hire someone, anyone who needs “elementary writing courses.” That’s not even an affirmative action hire, that’s suicide for a major daily. I don’t care how trusted this “tipster” is, this sounds extremely sheisty, if not racist.
January 26th, 2007 at 2:34 am
Last winter Parker wrote a column arguing that Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski was a worse GM than Matt Millen. Talk about bad timing.
January 26th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Rob Parker is an embarassment for anyone who speaks English. His brand of “shock” opinions does get his name noticed, however you need to have some credibility. I’ve read the Detroit News for 30 years and he is the bottom of the barrel. Please send this guy back to New York. I’m sure the National Enquirer could use a cheap headline writer.
January 29th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Just because you don’t agree with someone’s point of view does not mean that someone does not have command of the English language. How many of you possess an ivy league graduate degree. Parker has a masters degree from Columbia. He received the degree while he was a working journalist at New York’s Daily News.
April 24th, 2007 at 4:12 am
What amazes about Parker is not just his dumb takes and flawed illogical reasoning, but that he often displays SHOCKINGLY INEPT WRITING SKILLS, and by that I mean writing occasionally laden with incoherent paragraphs and embarrassing grammatical mishaps that would make any high school English teacher cringe in disgust. How does a guy who writes like that possibly end up employed as a lead sports columnist for a major paper? It is utterly baffling.
July 6th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Though I do agree that his writing is utterly terrible and he does sound like an idiot at first glance, his thoughts and opinions most of the time are not all that bad. I listen to his radio station almost everyday. He’s in acquried taste and if u give him a chance and listen to what he has to say, ull see that he knows what he’s talking about. He is a sports expert because knows his sports history in all areas unlike many of our current sports writers who are more fans than experts. He’s not afraid to go against what the rest of the country feels and he backs his claims up. At first glance, he does seem like an idiot, but if ur patient, and think about what he says, it will make perfect sense and ull begin to start support him.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Just this morning, on 1st and 10, Parker made the following comment about Norv Turner, “Norv Turner has more problems than just his skin.”
He tried to laugh it off when the other host pointed out that the comment was inappropriate.