ryangrantHow does a sports nut from Florida, home of three NFL teams, get to be a Green Bay Packers fan?

Easy: I jumped on the bandwagon around 1996 because they were good and have been riding ever since. Geographic tribalism’s a relic of the pre-Internet age. (Eat your heart out, Simmons.)

The Preview In Which My Optimism is Cancelled By Reality

The Helmsman: Aaron Rodgers acquitted himself nicely as a starter in 2009, throwing for over 4,000 yards and 28 touchdowns. Aaron Rodgers bones are also apparently made of balsa wood. Packers fans will hope for more Lambeau Leaps and fewer fourth-quarter interceptions

Skill Positions: The receiving corps is quite good, a mix of speed (Greg Jennings), precision (Greg Jennings), and physicality (Greg Jennings) with Donald Driver continuing to do whatever it is that Donald Driver does. The secondary is quite good in Madden 2004: Charles Woodson and Al Harris are only getting older and slower, rely on physicality, and are easily scorched deep. The rest of the defensive backfield is young and athletic (Will Blackmon, Tramon Williams), and includes Atari “Hit Stick” Bigby (come on, you like it) but prone to Ahmad Carroll-esque flammability. Beware.

Allen Barbre: He projects as a backup tackle for this year’s team. This would be all well and good, except that I cannot forget he was the fourth-round pick in 2007 that the Packers could have shipped to Oakland for Randy Moss. The team went 12-4 and nearly went to the Super Bowl (I see you, Corey Webster) without him; how good could they have been with him? Allen Barbre could literally turn opposing defensive linemen into pancakes and I would still resent his not-Randy-Moss-ness. Sorry, man. (Oh, and the line and running game should return to form after being dinged up in 2008; Ryan Grant is still the workhorse, but I look for Northwestern product Tyrell Sutton to do some damage if he survives training camp.)

The Whitest Linebacking Corps U’Know: New defensive coordinator Dom Capers’ 3-4 scheme shifts Aaron Kampman back to linebacker; this is good, because he was a Saturday night nightmare for opposing quarterbacks without the element of surprise a 3-4 can bring. However: Kampman, A.J. Hawk, Clay Matthews, and Brady Poppinga all being on one team makes this linebacking corps the football equivalent of the Indiana Pacers, with the caveat that the Packers’ ‘backers have talent. (Serious note: The front seven is going to be very good, with B.J. Raji and Ryan Pickett up front and Nick Barnett roaming behind them.)

The Quick Slants

Brett Favre: Seriously, screw that guy.

08_julie-henderson_08Julie Henderson: Supposedly dates Rodgers; is good at being very attractive. As a Packers fan, I am in no way upset by my team’s starting quarterback dating Russell Simmons’ sloppy seconds.

Famous Fans: Matt Kenseth and Lil Wayne are devotees (peep the Packers hat in the edited-but-still-probably-not-the-best-idea-to-click-on-this-at-work “Fireman” video); Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, and James Van Der Dawson’s Creek were all spotted at a game. The dinner party they’re all going to have with Eric Foreman will be fascinating.

“Bang the Drum All Day”:

As traditions go, Todd Rundgren’s song beats 0-16, Super Bowl futility, and making your beloved stadium look like a spaceship. (Sentence from that last post: “The funny thing about the stadium is that since 1984 it was on the list of National Register of Historic Places, but after the renovation this designation was revoked (in 2003).” That’s not funny: It’s sad.)

The Bikini GirlsA rant: I’ve never found them interesting because any points a woman could score with me for being attractive and in a state of moderate undress are canceled out by being stupid enough to not wear clothes in bone-chilling cold. Smarten up, ladies.

The Greatest Hits CD: Yeah, it exists.

Michael Vick: Chris Mortensen’s report is bizarre: Rodgers is vulnerable and Vick was good enough to beat the Packers in Lambeau in the playoffs in 2002, plus Dom Capers knows what the Wildcat can do, so the logical conclusion is to not bring him in, because Mortensen’s sources say so. Huh? My report to GM Ted Thompson: Just get him. Vick’s not as big a PR firestorm as some think, and, lest we forget, he’s motivated to make bank. It’s worth whatever marginal risk a one-year contract would entail.

Twitter: Ryan Grant, Nick Barnett, Jermichael Finley, and the team as a whole are on Twitter, but there’s no tweeting from training camp. Barnett and Grant have donated to charity for reaching follower plateaus before; that’s cool. (Julie Henderson tweets, too.)

Mike McCarthy: He’s the coach. And he’s fairly anonymous. That’s about it.

Prediction

The Packers were a Football Outsiders darling last year and went 6-10 ; this year’s schedule sets up nicely, but those people far smarter than I am say 7-9 is probable. I’ll count Dallas, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Arizona as losses, project 4-2 in the North, and guess a 4-2 record against Cincinnati, Cleveland, Seattle, San Francisco, St. Louis, and Tampa Bay makes sense, especially as the Bucs game is on the road.

8-8 and second in the North to the Vikings. Consider my optimism tempered.

I leave you with one of the coolest things you’ll see today: Time-lapse photography at Lambeau.

2009 NFL Previews

NFC East: Cowboys | Eagles | Giants | Redskins

NFC North: Bears | Lions | Vikings