Figured this way would be easiest – they’re the best teams in the Big 10 this year, they play in a game (Nov. 7!) that should decide who represents the league in the BCS, both return agile, talented QBs, and both have occasionally insufferable fanbases. The better team? We give a slight edge to Penn State, mostly because of a laughable schedule and also because it hosts the Buckeyes.

Offensive Advantage: Daryl Clark and Evan Royster are probably one of the top returning QB-RB combos in the country. Clark’s WR options are new, and the o-line has three new starters, but the Nittany Lions should still be among the best offenses in the Big 10. You know we heart OSU’s Terrelle Pryor, so there’s no need to wax rhapsodic about his ever-improving skills. But he’s got a new backfield and new WRs. We do like the little we saw from Dan Herron, but how will he fair against 8-man fronts, which is what opposing teams will do until Pryor has proven to be dangerous with his arm? Slight Edge: Penn State.

Coaching: The guy born during the Great Depression, or the guy who never met a sweater vest he didn’t like? Joe Paterno has only lost two league home games in the last four years (2007 to No. 1 Ohio State, 2006 to No. 5 Michigan). Jim Tressel has lost his last three bowl games, but is 29-3 in league play in the last three years (losses: PSU in 2008, Illinois in 2007, PSU in 2005). Edge in this game: Penn State.

Cheerleaders: Judging on the many photos of cheerleaders all over the web … push. But we can all agree that the SEC cheerleaders are far more impressive.

Better Asshole Fan Video: No contest here.

Better Fight Song: Neither of these fight songs is likely to ring a bell with anyone outside of PA or Ohio. Here’s Penn State’s. Here’s Ohio State’s. Michigan and Notre Dame have much stronger, more memorable songs. We’ll give the slight edge to Ohio State, although even if you put a gun to our head, we couldn’t come up with a reason.

Defensive Advantage: Even though Ohio State had four defenders drafted in the first three rounds in April, Penn State has more issues. The Nittany Lions might have the best defensive player on the two teams – DT Jared Odrick (Kiper had him as the 5th best junior DT in the country), but they only return three starters from last year’s unit. The entire secondary has been overhauled. It’s a good thing the QBs in the Big 10 are horrible. Defensively, the Buckeyes have to replace their linebackers, but three of four starters on the line return, and three of four starters in the secondary are back. The Buckeyes defense should keep the Nov. 7 game close … close enough for Terrelle Pryor to win it.

Cooler College Town: We’ve never been to either, so this will be entirely based upon reaction from friends who have. Survey says … Happy Valley, and it’s not even close.

Schedule: Penn State should be derided for such a joke of a schedule. Out-of-conference games: Akron, Syracuse, Temple, Eastern Illinois. Combined record last year: 18-30. The Nittany Lions should be unbeaten heading into the Nov. 7 game. The only reason Ohio State wouldn’t be unbeaten as well is because the Buckeyes host USC Sept. 12.

The guess: Penn State beats Ohio State on Nov. 7, and goes to a BCS game.
If the National title game will pit Florida and Texas/Oklahoma, then the Rose Bowl will feature a rematch between Penn State and USC.