The media: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany (thank you, George Lucas). And since there were about 82,941 media members in Miami over the weekend, it was virtually impossible not to bump into one or two of them at the parties. We figured that instead of parceling out media tidbits in posts over the weekend, we’d compile them here for you in one neat package. Enjoy.

* By all accounts, the hottest party of the weekend was the CAA bash at Mokai on Saturday night. The star wattage was impressive – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Matt Leinart, Adrian Peterson, Katie Couric, Alec Baldwin, Boris Becker, Scarlett Johansson, Alex Rodriguez, Kid Rock, everybody was up in there. So who the hell let the overweight lova, Jason Whitlock, in the house? Is he repped by CAA? Or attempting a Scientology weight-loss scheme? Either way, he couldn’t get four pink toes into the party, and the ladies looked disappointed. We steered clear of the big fella.

* We’ve been told two Sports Illustrated staffers, Franz Lidz (famous for the legendary Darren Daulton piece) and Jeff MacGregor have accepted buyouts. Don’t have any confirmation on it, but that was the buzz at the Super Bowl.

* Only saw two media members at the debauchery that was the Playboy party - our new nemesis, JA Adande of the LA Times (dude is trying to stake claim to our TO-McNabb hug story, damn right it’s on!) and ESPN’s Michael Smith. Neither appeared to be a factor with the ladies, but it’s not like we spent much time in their vicinity because, well, it was a Playboy party. (To be fair, we were even less of a factor, and not just because we’re engaged.)

* Oddest media collaboration: Sportline’s Gregg Doyel and Page 2’s Jemele Hill at a party together. Nothing romantic, though – she was with her boyfriend. Doyel was just there, probably missing his dog and collecting material for his Super Bowl blog.

* The best thing we overheard all weekend was at the massive ESPN block party Friday. We didn’t break out the Whisper 2000, but two guys were talking about Stuart Scott in our general area, and we couldn’t help but listen in. Supposedly, Scott (who we didn’t see all weekend) was absolutely irate with this hilarious tale about trying to bed a cheerleader. Though we didn’t dive into their conversation, we overheard these two young men saying that Scott really wanted to ‘kick that kid’s ass’ and it didn’t seem in jest. Almost like he was hunting for him. Apparently, Stuart Scott is a married man and late-night booty texts that make the internet aren’t ever a good thing.

* How tough are times at the Chicago Sun-Times? We were told the paper only sent five staffers to the Super Bowl … while the Chicago Tribune supposedly sent over a dozen, and the Indianapolis Star had more than that. We’re not even sure if Jay Mariotti was down there on the Sun-Times’ dime, or ESPN’s, but either way, the paper left its best columnist, Greg Couch, at home.

* Legitimate basketball question presented to us – is Stacey Dales-Schuman back on the market? Because she used to go with the hyphenated last name, and now she’s just going by Stacey Dales. We went to wiki and found the answer. Most men under 38 50 will be happy to know this.

* Yes, everybody was talking about the Jeff Darlington-Dan Patrick-Nick Saban ‘off-the-record’ flap. But that’s a post unto itself today if we have time or later in the week.