Mets 6, D’Backs 4: Cory Sullivan (pictured, I swear) tripled twice, but didn’t score. David Wright went 3-for-5 and scored twice. Gerardo Parra did the same for Arizona. I’m just beside myself. The Mets won? That’s amazing.

Braves 6, Nationals 2: The Braves took the lead in the 7th and poured it on in the 8th while the bullpen shut the door. Adam LaRoche got the game ball after going 2-for-3 with three RBI and two runs. Ryan Church went 0-for05 proving you can take the outfielder out of the Mets’ organization, but you can’t take the Mets’ organization out of the outfielder.

Phillies 12, Cubs 5: Pedro Martinez made his Philadelphia debut last night and he got plenty of support. Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, Ryan Howard and Raul Ibanez all homered. Pedro struck out five because some major leaguers just can’t handle 87mph heat. Oh, did I mention Victorino made a catch at the track while a beer was poured on him?

[UPDATE: Better, slow-motion video below shows they tossed the wrong guy.]
Final Verdict: Cubs fans suck almost as much as the Cubs. And that’s difficult. (Video via the always-excellent The 700 Level)

Angels 10, Rays 5: The 5, 6, and 7 batters for the LA of Anaheim did all the damage. Kendry Morales, Mike Napoli and Howie Kendrick combined to go 6-for-10 with five RBI and seven runs. That’s good production, right?

Rangers 5, Indians 0: Josh Hamilton went 3-for-4 and drove in two runs. It would be irresponsible of me to pontificate on how he celebrated.

Twins 7, Royals 1: Brian Bannister got rocked. Dude gave up seven runs on nine hits in seven innings. Most of the damage came in the first, but only stat nerds care about that. Francisco Liriano was much more effective, surrendering one run through seven innings. I guess you could say that this was a one-sided pitchers’ duel. (lol)

Astros 14, Marlins 6: Hunter Pence went yard twice and there were two men on base both times. Many other Astros contributed during this beatdown. We’re all very proud. Hanley Ramirez homered for the Fish.