2009 NFL Preview: New England Patriots
2009 NFL Previews, NFL, Video August 18th. 2009, 2:00pm
Tom Brady’s back. Is that enough of a preview? The Patriots were decent last year without him. Matt Cassel walked onto the field for the first time since pee-wee football and New England still won 11 games and tied for the 4th best record in the AFC. (Only 2 NFC teams had a better record.)
Let’s pretend last season never happened. The Patriots are coming off an undefeated regular season and one of the biggest upset losses in sports history against the Giants in the Super Bowl. I’d hate to be on the Patriots’ schedule this season. The Patriots are John Cena* and the Giants kidnapped their wife.
Offense – I remember watching the first regular season game of the Brady-Moss-Welker era 2 years ago. They moved the ball quickly and scored at will. I was far from a Pats fan, but damn was it fun to watch.
The Pats added Chris Baker, Joey Galloway and Fred Taylor to an already good offense. Randy Moss and Wes Welker return. Laurence Maroney is back, but he may have gotten hurt while you were reading the last sentence. Not that it matters, running backs are trivial in New England. It’s all about the offensive line – which is great. The offense will be sick yet again. They’ll again move the ball quickly and they’ll again score at will. It will be fun to watch.
(What happened to BradyFan83? Did he die and I missed the telethon to save him?)
Cheerleaders – Damn these frigid Northern winters.
Defense – This defense is going to see a lot of passing. Not because they’re necessarily weak, but because the opposition will probably be playing a lot of catchup.
The Pats picked 4 times in the 2nd round of the draft and used their first 3 on defensive players. The one thing the team lacked was a pass rusher to play during the nickle package. Then the Pats traded for Derrick Burgess. For the last few years Burgess has been toiling in Oakland. Now he’s in a great situation and he should win Defensive Player of the Year. (The preceding was taken from a Bill Simmons’ podcast.)
Schedule – Here it is. The bye comes in Week 8. Plan accordingly.
Fantasy – 3 studs and a bunch of fliers. Brady and Moss are 2 guys that can absolutely carry your fantasy team. Welker is just as good a pickup at receiver if he gets the ball in the red zone. Everyone else involved in the Patriots offense has the potential to have a big year. The Patriots should lead the league in guys on waivers or your bench that score 3 TD’s and make you feel like an idiot.
Gisele – She’s dating one of the Patriots. I can’t remember which one. Something about a hat.
Note – Gisele also could have gone under the “fantasy” category.
Prediction – All signs point to the Patriots bouncing back in a big way. If they went from 16 wins to 11 without Brady, you have to assume they’ll win a couple more with Brady back. Brady lost a year in his prime while he still had some of his best weapons so he should be motivated. And they seem to have upgraded at positions besides QB. I’m saying they go 15-1 with the loss coming in a shoot-out on Monday Night Football in late November in the Superdome.
*I considered going with a Taken reference there, but that movie is too bad ass to be a humorous. Even if the New England Patriots do posses a very particular set of skills; skills that they have acquired over a very long career. Also, I tried to reference this video, but it was awkward. Total fail on my part.
NFC East: Dallas Cowboys Preview | Philadelphia Eagles Preview | New York Giants Preview | Washington Redskins Preview
NFC North: Chicago Bears Preview | Detroit Lions Preview | Minnesota Vikings Preview | Green Bay Packers Preview
NFL South: Tampa Bay Bucs Preview | Atlanta Falcons Preview | New Orleans Saints Preview | Carolina Panthers Preview
NFL West: San Francisco 49ers Preview | St. Louis Rams Preview | Arizona Cardinals Preview | Seattle Seahawks
80 Responses to “2009 NFL Preview: New England Patriots”
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August 18th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
12-4, losing at Pittsburgh in the AFC title game.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Finally, New England is getting some media love!
/sincere
//love the Patriot Pat logo.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Harrison Ford was in Taken?
14-2
August 18th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Can’t wait for Week 1 MNF when Pat Patriot plays the Bills in their throwbacks. It’s gonna look awesome!
Hope Poz does his best Bernard Pollard impression (but just for the game, not the season)
August 18th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Give them a 11-5 and a loss in the divisional or conference final round.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Brady > Manning
/someone had to
August 18th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Simmons can blow me. We heard the same BS about Adalius Thomas (ZOMG jack of all trades LB meets mad scientist HC!!! He’ll have 20 sacks, 15 INTs, and 10 TDs!!!!1one) and he’s been solid but completely unspectacular since he arrived in Foxboro.
The offense is still great, but 2007 was a historic season, and I don’t think even Brady and Moss can duplicate it 2 years later. Combine that with the fact that their defense fluctuates between “middling” and “above average” from week-to-week, and I say 12-4.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
You couldn’t of thought it was that great if you think it was Harrison Ford in the movie.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Very well said.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
+1 for the logo. they should really go back to that.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Always liked the Boston Patriots helmets. Bills/Pats in throwbacks will look good.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I never said Harrison Ford was in Taken. I just made a lazy joke.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I think he’s referring to the epicly bad Firewall.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
“I didn’t kill my wife…”
“I don’t care!”
/Fugitive’d
//nothing to do with any of those movies either.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Are you saying that John Cena was in Taken now?
August 18th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Has TBL already noted the new WWL ombudsman’s first foray and I just missed it? Anyways, link if it hasn’t been brought up yet: http://tinyurl.com/q4vq75
August 18th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Michael Douglas was in Taken, you bojack ninnie.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Woosa…
/closes tab
August 18th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
14-2. super bowl champs.
lets move on.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I never said Harrison Ford was in Taken. I just made a lazy joke.
He was never better than in Six Days Seven Nights with batshit crazy/ temporary lesbian Anne Heche
August 18th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Anyone watching the Arsenal v Celtic match?
August 18th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
14-2. super bowl champs.
This is not the Browns preview
August 18th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
jpq- Air Force One. best President of the United States ever.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
You’re right, they’ve won so many titles in the past 4 years its a given they’ll roll again.
/Pittsburgh has 2 since golden boy tranny lovin tommy last won
August 18th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
david palmer had better domestic policies
August 18th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
GET OFF MY PLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 18th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
NE offense = PIT D
NE defense > PIT O
they’re the two best in the NFL…but the nod goes to NE.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
jpq- Air Force One. best President of the United States ever.
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/I’m channeling him right now
//he did do an inspired Amish dude in witness also
August 18th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
palmer is my number 1 on tv.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Michael Douglas and Kevin Kline were pretty good
August 18th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
My vote goes to Kevin Kline
August 18th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Bill Pullman was my fave president.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
/Pittsburgh has 2 since golden boy tranny lovin tommy last won
exactly, Coop. seems everyone forgets this fact. Brady has seen a good pass rush in the last 2 games he’s played, and decided to take a year off because it was all to much for him. pussy.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
because everyone loves a president that balances the budget in one cabinet meeting.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Is this cap rooneys favorite post?
August 18th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Although one should be Seattle’s
August 18th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
so how many SB’s have the Steelers won/played in when they had to play the pats to get to the big game?
August 18th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
brilliant!
August 18th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
well, maybe if the MIGHTY, INVINCIBLE steelers could fucking tackle faggy david garrard, they would’ve had the chance to get embarassed by the 2007 pats.
oh, they were already embarassed by them earlier in the year? damn.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
TRUTH
August 18th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
because everyone loves a president that balances the budget in one cabinet meeting.
Actually the sweet Orioles jacket he wore to throw out the first pitch that sold me.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
well, maybe if the MIGHTY, INVINCIBLE steelers could fucking tackle faggy david garrard, they would’ve had the chance to get embarassed by the 2007 pats.
james harrison was clearly held on that play. plus, i think NE would have smoked that Steelers team again.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
So its the Steelers fault the Pats couldn’t beat the shitty Broncos in 2005 and then missed the playoffs last year?
Spicious and I are just pointing out that just because Brady is back doesn’t mean shit, just like everyone he’s lost his fair share of big games.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Don’t put words in my mouth Coop. I actually do think its the Steelers fault that the Pats couldn’t beat the shitty Broncos in 2005 and then missed the playoffs last year. Carrying the Pats is just another thing that Ben can’t do.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
coop, just point out the recent playoff head to head of the two teams is something to consider if you want to debate who has been a better team in this decade.
clearly i thought we had started that discussion, but looks like i jumped the gun.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
there’s truth to this…pats don’t have much of a pass rush outside of derrick burgess.
best 3-man DL in the NFL tho (by a hair over the steelers).
August 18th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Brady >>> big Ben>> Matt Ryan
/couldn’t resist
August 18th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Wait, you’re saying they go 15-1 with their lone loss coming against the Saints? TBL obviously doesn’t proofread these, cause I’m sure he would’ve made you change it. Cause Drew Brees obviously blows.
/TBL’d
GEAUX SAINTS!
August 18th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
i’ve heard speculation the pats will be mixing in a steady dose of 4-3 since they have enough linemen and it would give their ‘backers a bit of a rest.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
best 3-man DL in the NFL tho (by a hair over the steelers).
sounds like another person who severely underrates the talents of Aaron Smith.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
wilhelm, you guys beat Kordell Stewart way back in like 2000, I believe pre-Bellicheck. Then you beat Ben his rookie year, which seems like ages ago. I dont give two shits about the past decade, the past 4 years are more relevant to what might happen this year.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Cause Drew Brees obviously blows.
And Favre swallows!
/sophisticated joke
August 18th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
you’re all idiots.
jack was the best president ever
August 18th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
oh no, not at all.
but while we’re on the subject of underrated 3-4 DE’s, let me throw ty warren’s name into the ring. he’s PHENOMENAL. better than seymour for the last few years.
hampton and smith are aging and a hair behind wilfork and warren at this point. and when you throw seymour in there…there’s the hair.
steelers LB’s by a mile tho…that’s not even close.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
coop, we’re still talking about two different things.
anyway, for the sake of argument, a brady led pats team would still beat the steelers.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
13-3 beat by the colts in the playoffs.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I would say a Brady-less last year means shit.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
you’re all idiots.
jack was the best president ever
Day Man was better, whoooohoooo
/Sunny’d
//i think that’s what your name means
August 18th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
anyway, for the sake of argument, a brady led pats team would still beat the steelers.
i find it remarkable that you (and so many others) are so sure that the super bowl champs, who return 20 of 22 starters back (and 1 of those replacements is likely a huge improvement) + get back their punter (bigger deal than you can imagine if you’ve never seen the work of paul ernster) are definitely worse than the Pats because Brady is back. the Brady that had is knee destroyed last year, then had an infection in that knee and hasn’t played in a year. i respectfully disagree.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Welcome back dear Brady….Moss just didn’t quite shine the same way with Cassel and Wexler was playing “out of office” so this season count on the offense to be explosive. I think that with the new addition of Fred Taylor he might also help out for the better. So with the return of Brady toss in their hopefully consistent defense and we will see them at the Super Bowl. In other news am I late on this picture of Tim Tebow’s girlfriend. DAMN! No way he’s still a virgin.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
In other news am I late on this picture of Tim Tebow’s girlfriend.
that’s Lucy Pinder.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I was going to say…he couldn’t pull that…
August 18th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
i find it remarkable that you can just write off a belichick/brady team while lauding an 11-5 team with the worst OL in the NFL and a below average running game as being clearly superior.
the pats and steelers are the two best teams in the NFL. the only two teams that can even come close to being in the same league are the colts and chargers, and both of them have such huge head coaching issues, it’s doubtful either will challenge.
so the steelers are 1b to the pats 1a in some people’s minds…so what? at least you’re not a browns fan like me, who’s already looking forward to next year’s draft.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
i find it remarkable that this discussion reached the point where fucking punters are being discussed.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
an 11-5 team with the worst OL in the NFL and a below average running game as being clearly superior.
remind me again why you’re so sure that Big Ben sucks.
at least you’re not a browns fan like me, who’s already looking forward to next year’s draft.
oh, come on now, you’re…..you guys are….there’s plenty to look forward to like…..that brady quinn’s got a body like john basedow
/no homo’d
August 18th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
i find it remarkable that this discussion reached the point where fucking punters are being discussed.
you really need to see paul ernster to understand. i’ve never seen anyone as bad at their job as he is at punting.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
ok, so you make it sound like Brady has been sitting on his ass and will come back as fat as big ben.
he’s been rehabbing for nearly an entire year. he’s lucky the injury happened in september, unlike culpeppers and palmers knee injuries. the infection didn’t happen yesterday, and he’s been cleared to play for a while now.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
i’ll take your word for it, sir.
i feel your pain, i had to watch four years of ken walter consistently netting 35 fucking yard punts.
but, you know, he was vinatieri’s holder, so he was totally worth keeping
August 18th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Peter Sellers’s President Merkin Muffley
August 18th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
he doesn’t suck…just in the first three quarters when he’s either nursing off his hangover or still digesting the entire cow he just devoured.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I thought it was nice of the Browns to keep that record setting offensive-TD-less streak going, even though it was only preseason. That team is going to suck, and I’m going to have to watch entirely too many of their shitty, shitty games.
And Moss is getting old, still good, but not two years ago great. Brady will still be very good, but not two years ago great. They’re going to win that shitty division, but they certainly aren’t a lock for anything.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
still digesting the entire cow he just devoured.
c’mon spence. lawsuit aside she seems like a very nice girl.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
speaking of a Jack being president. i guess Ford being president in Air Force One ruined any chances of him playing Jack Ryan as president.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
braylon has a dream to get to double digits
August 18th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
c’mon spence. lawsuit aside she seems like a very nice girl.
Zing! well played sir
August 18th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
coop…feel free to head on over to hit the bong. it’s the ONLY way to watch browns games, trust me.
+1
August 18th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
no, i think ben affleck as jack ryan ruined anyone playing jack ryan as president. liev schrieber as john clark was good though.
August 18th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Like I dont f’ing know that already. I’ve been conserving for the past few months so I hope to have enough to last through the season.
August 18th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
speaking of the browns…
local radio host: do you think the players need to see a little humor or something funny?
mangini: if i wanted to show them something funny, id throw on a tape of today’s practice.
god i hate the browns.
August 18th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
spence, that’s priceless.
i cant wait to see new englands latest castoffs fail at their new endeavors.