Jared Allen Thought Schism Was an STD

1-liner, NFL TheBigLead August 28th. 2009, 9:45am

Jared Allen is Hilarious: The Vikings defensive end, when asked about the silly ’schism’ story, said, “I don’t think anyone on this team knows what schism means let alone use it in a sentence form. At first I thought schism was an STD, and I was like WOAH we practice abstinence here!” Has to be the quote of the preseason. Allen said this in a TV interview, yesterday, which explains why we can’t find it in the papers. But it’s being kicked around online here and here.

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13 Responses to “Jared Allen Thought Schism Was an STD”

1
Magglio Merkin Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 9:57 am
The word schism was thrown around so many times yesterday on ESPN I thought they had struck up a partnership with TOOL or something. It just goes to show you that Brett Favre is the bitch we all thought he was.
2
pkiguy22 Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Dude is by far my favorite Viking.
3
clown Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I thought schism was the space between venzina’s babe calipers.
4
Sir Spicious Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am
schism defined with jmorris tag in 5…4…
5
NDub Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:08 am
I loathe Jared Allen – from that stupid sack celebration, retarded mullet, and shit-eating grin. Now, he’s trying to be funny with this quote.
Schism isn’t that difficult or rare a word. Fucking dumbass.
6
pkiguy22 Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:12 am
@NDub,
Obviously sarcasm is lost on you. Even if he didn’t know what it meant, I am pretty sure he knew it wasn’t an STD.
7
jpq1999 Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Schism is no different than jaculat (SFW!)
/Leon’d
8
NDub Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:22 am
@NDub,
Obviously sarcasm is lost on you. Even if he didn’t know what it meant, I am pretty sure he knew it wasn’t an STD.
I’ve never liked the guy. Not since his KC days. So even if he was joking, I didn’t find it funny.
9
GodsoftheGridiron Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:22 am
That was a money line for sure. I wonder if he celebrated his witty remark by getting wasted and driving on the interstate?
10
NDub Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:26 am
That was a money line for sure. I wonder if he celebrated his witty remark by getting wasted and driving on the interstate?
Gold star.
11
cracker jack Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:39 am
That was a money line for sure. I wonder if he celebrated his witty remark by getting wasted and driving on the interstate?
Nah, probably by swan diving into somebody’s knees.
12
coop247 Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 10:46 am
That was a money line for sure. I wonder if he celebrated his witty remark by getting wasted and driving on the interstate?
Fantastic. Unfortunately Jared Allen epitomizes way too many americans, I’m a moron and prooooud of it, giggity.
13
cracker jack Says:
August 28th, 2009 at 11:01 am
NFL has officially created a “Do-Over” rule in case a punt hits the Cowboys’ video board. Ridiculous.