Kobe’s wife sure does have some nice legs, huh? Baseball fully begins in a few hours, so there’s that; and of course the National Championship. As we polish off a bowl of Cookie Crisp, we begin to wonder – is Walmart that bad? The answer, of course, is yes. We’re in the midst of a fantastic piece on the dreaded behemoth in the New Yorker right now, and we can unequivocally say that unless there are absolutely zero other options, we won’t be shopping at Walmart ever again.

Clark Kellogg is the CBS version of Kirk Herbstreit, and Joe Theismann looks to be shit outta luck. (USA Today)

Supposedly, a gay NFL player has been telling pals he wants out of the closet. We’d cough out TO, but that doesn’t translate well on the net. (NY Daily News – last item)

Should have saved this for Ballin’ but oh well – Caron Butler broke his shooting hand and is done for the season. Maybe next year, Gilbert. (Bullets Forever)

Mark Cuban makes fun of the LA Times. (Blog Maverick)

A filthy dunk, but more importantly, an outstanding blog name. (Stop Mike Lupica)

The talented Charles Pierce profiles annoying agent Scott Boras; the guess here is that Boras is whoring himself out to start the baseball season, because we also read a big piece on him (and Zito) in Esquire. (Boston Magazine)

Bill Simmons jumps into the OJ Mayo discussion, and two bloggers respond angrily. (Sports Media Review)

Gisele boozes and hangs out with her hot sisters, but Tom Brady isn’t around for it. (Inside Track)

Jonathan Papelbon’s favorite actress is Pam Anderson, and he’s never learning a word of Japanese. (Boston Herald)

A fawning Derek Jeter piece just in time for opening day. (NY Times)

In case you’re hard up for more photos of preggo Salma Hayek. (I’m Not Obsessed)

Mentioned this briefly over the weekend, and it bears repeating – woman enters University of Michigan frat house, sits on couch and masturbates; eludes police. (Michigan Daily)

This is absolutely NSFW, but also absolutely worth it Рour new girlfriend British babe Keeley Hazell on a topless video shoot. (Meta Caf̩)

Voodoo Sabermetrics and Manny Ramirez. (Extrapolater)