url-7Oh come on, it’s the day after Week one in the NFL, let’s quit pretending like you care about baseball today.

Giants 7, Dodgers 2: Not many pitchers can go from atrocious to amazing quite like Brad Penny. Actually, every pitcher that’s made the switch from the AL to the NL can do it just like Penny has, but that’s beside the point.

Yanks 13, Orioles 3: CC won his 17th but until A.J. Burnett sorts out whatever’s going on, the Yankees don’t seem so scary. He has one win since August 1.

Red Sox 4, Rays 0; Red Sox 3, Rays 1: The Red Sox, on the other hand, would be very scary in a playoff series. Lester threw eight shutout innings and allowed two hits. Clay Buchholz was no slouch either, he went seven innings of one-run ball.

Mariners 5, Rangers 0; Rangers 7, Mariners 2: Ichiro set a record with his ninth straight 200-hit season. Too bad hits suck.

Braves 9, Cards 2: A complete game from Javy Vázquez. Count him in as a huge fan of the NL.

Padres 7, Rockies 3: Finally, Jason Marquis is safely back to earth.

Phillies 1, Mets 0; Phillies 5, Mets 4: Pedro pitched eight scoreless innings. However, Brad Lidge remains AWFUL.

Nelson Cruz gets a haircut. Seriously.