Joe Buck’s Second Offering: Needs … Everything
Media Gossip/Musings September 23rd. 2009, 9:15am
Summing up Joe Buck’s second offering on HBO in a word: Dull.
If not for for the occasional ramble or slurring of speech from 66-year-old Joe Namath, the quarterback segment with Marino and Elway would have been a complete bust. The questions were safe and stale.
Mark Cuban and Jerry Jones, the controversial owners in Dallas, were anything but. Cuban, who seems like the kind of guy that would flip out if a waiter brought him water with ice cubes, was cautious. Jerry Jones, appearing weary two nights after the opening of his new stadium, mostly railed against revenue sharing. These two were probably the show’s highlight.
The show wrapped with a portly Curt Schilling, wearing stubble, a perma-grin and what looked like penny loafers, talking politics. The man likes to name-drop. John McCain, Ann Coulter – these people are his friends. Schilling’s Big Reveal was that he won’t run for Senate. Because it has some news value, it is the only reason the show will be mentioned in the media today. There was some steroids talk. Roger Clemens was mentioned. Yawn.
What is the point in courting controversial sports figures like Namath, Cuban, Jones and Schilling, and then never steering them in the direction of anything remotely controversial? Nobody’s asking Buck to be combative, but he’s had weeks – if not months – to prepare for these interviews. We usually lament the rehearsed “anecdotes” that guests come armed with to Letterman or Conan … we longed for them tonight. Maybe shorter segments is the answer?
If not for Artie Lange’s explosion in the show’s debut, nobody would have been talking about Joe Buck’s foray into late night TV; there will be little – if any – chatter today about last night’s episode. Right now, Buck’s show feels like a pitcher being given a third chance, with failure resulting in a trip back to the minors. And frankly, the third and fourth episodes may not matter much at all – it just doesn’t seem like Buck has what it takes to make it as a TV host.
If Buck is funny and witty and capable of one-liners, where are they during the show?
50 Responses to “Joe Buck’s Second Offering: Needs … Everything”
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September 23rd, 2009 at 9:18 am
What exactly did you want him to ask?
Hey Joe, how’s the liver? Hey John, how the underage pussy taste? Hey Dan, Trent Dilfer has a Super Bowl ring, that give ya the red ass?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
I bet Cuban sees this on his google alerts and sends you an email, a la Sports Guy.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:22 am
Elway:
So, you married a Raiders cheerleader recently. How much static did you get from fans?
What the hell is Josh McDaniels doing to the Broncos?
Cutler.
Shanahan.
T Davis and Hall of Fame.
Marino:
See that game Monday, Dan? Clayton or Duper make that catch right? Ted Ginn – brutal.
What would you have done if a coach came to you in 1985 and said they wanted to give the wildcat a chance?
that’s just off the cuff…
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:22 am
So Artie didn’t appear? Listening to West Coast feed right now, Howard is on fire this morning.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 am
Joe Buck is boring. Who ever thought him hosting a talk show wouldnt be boring?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:24 am
Hey Dan Marino, you hung on way too long, right? How about Brett Favre, holding on even longer, tarnishing his legacy, and putting all of your accomplishments in the garbage on the way. Don’t you just love Favre?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:26 am
Winning?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:26 am
so dan, are you still bitter about your oscar snub from ace ventura?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:27 am
Artie appeared at the outset in a taped segment. Buck bumped into him in times square, no words were said, artie smiled and had his arms out as if to say, ‘remember me?’, and then buck turned tailed and ran, fearing for his life
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
That’s a great point that hasn’t really been mentioned. He is incredibly snarky and annoying in the booth. He has that, ‘I’m super smart and sarcastic and know more than you’ kind of attitude. Anyone else get that? Oh, and you’re going bald, Joe, we can all see it.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
Marino said in the interview that a coach would have to be a moron to take John Elway out from under center, so I’m guessing that would’ve been his answer.
I doubt anyone in the audience or watching on TV really cares about this answer.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:29 am
Wow, that sounds awful. I hope Artie got paid decently. TBL – good show today?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
This is news?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:32 am
+1.5 Bsanders -0.5 aggregate (that LA/NY comment hurt you badly)
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:32 am
This is seriously the worst hosted show since the Megan Mullally experiment (don’t ask). Is there a single top flight announcer who you wouldn’t prefer to have dinner with than Joe Buck? If that’s the case, why the hell would you want to watch a show full of his stale, smarmy banter. I’d rather eat dinner with Matt Millen, who I would hold while my Lions fan of a father tried to pummel him mercilessly.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 am
Uncle Buck > Joe Buck Live
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 am
wife walked into the room and was putting some clothes away. hears about 90 seconds of the show. says: “that guy sounds so boring.”
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 am
After Artie this show has no where to go, but down. Buck was right Artie ruined his show because each subsequent one is going to be compared to and will never best the first.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:39 am
Summing up Joe Buck’s second offering on HBO in a word: Dull.
Well this is the Joe Buck show. The man’s been exciting once and it took Randy Moss pseudo-mooning a crowd to get him going.
HBO may have to have the Joe & Artie show for this to work.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:40 am
I was being sarcastic, Paolo.
I think it’d help Joe Buck if it wasn’t Joe Buck “Live.” He spent half the show cutting off his guests and running them off the stage so he could get to the next segment and stay under the one-hour limit. Having six guests and his little “New Rules” ripoff at the end is way too much to shove into 60 minutes.
Favorite moment of the night, though, Joe Namath saying “I wasn’t great.”
We know, Joe, we know.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:40 am
Uncle Buck > buck teeth > Joe Buck Live
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 am
Young Buck > Buck Williams> Uncle Buck > buck teeth > Joe Buck Live
/Shorty wanna ride with me’d
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 am
This is seriously the worst hosted show since the Megan Mullally experiment (don’t ask).
Bonnie Hunt, Tony Danza, Chevy Chase and Magic Johnson want to speak with you right now
The best thing about the Joe Buck show is this will be the only post about it, unlike last show’s 3 day marathon Artie-fest
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 am
/TBL’d
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 am
The Great Buck Howard > Young Buck > Buck Williams> Uncle Buck > buck teeth > Joe Buck Live
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:44 am
I’m a cynical bastard so I don’t do it often, but that one made me laugh at loud.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
Bonnie Hunt, Tony Danza, Chevy Chase and Magic Johnson want to speak with you right now
Remember when everybody got their own Ricki Lake show? The 2nd youngest Cosby kid got one, and Danny Bonaducci got one. Those were pretty bad. Not Chevy Chase bad, but way worse than Tony Danza’s little chat show.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
he was probably the only person in the world who took Tyree’s catch in stride and showed not one iota of excitement.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 am
Buck & The Preacher > The Great Buck Howard > Young Buck > Buck Williams > Uncle Buck > buck teeth > Joe Buck Live = Milwaukee Bucks
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:50 am
I remember when Maxim posted one of Magic’s monologues word-for-word in the back page. It was painful to read, so I can only imagine what it was like to watch.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:51 am
@ClevelandStaph: you forgot Buck Bundy.
“Though extremely lazy, Buck has a huge, insatiable sexual appetite, having at one point impregnated all the female dogs in the neighborhood.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Married…_with_Children#Buck
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:52 am
I remember when Maxim posted one of Magic’s monologues word-for-word in the back page. It was painful to read, so I can only imagine what it was like to watch.
I saw at least 4 episodes. There might have been 30 total shows. I just couldn’t believe how bad it was. They “revamped” it within the first week, by bringing in the worst In Living Color guy to be a sidekick, but Magic just couldn’t speak intelligible English for any length of time when he was nervous.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:53 am
dirt: You see where Tony Danza is teaching high school in Philly (for the obvious reality show to follow)? Sounds like real compelling TV
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 am
dirt: You see where Tony Danza is teaching high school in Philly (for the obvious reality show to follow)? Sounds like real compelling TV
That one did sound like a real winner. I saw it on Colbert. He lambasted Tony Danza (which admittedly, isn’t hard) with scenes from some orangutan movie he was in, back when he was Joey from Friends in a former life.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:05 am
Joe Buck taught us about East Coast Bias.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:06 am
so joe buck’s tv show is the tv version of kip wells?
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:06 am
I can’t stand Joe Buck for the reasons you mentioned. He strikes me as the kind of person who has an intern hold a mirror up for him during commercials breaks as he smiles and stares at himself before pointing and saying, “Go get ‘em, tiger!” while winking.
What a fag.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am
I for one am surprised that the show that sucked the first time I didn’t watch also sucked the second time I didn’t watch. Too bad Leno isn’t on as often as Joe Buck. Then we’d be onto something.
/BRING BACK SOUTHLAND’d
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 am
/BRING BACK SOUTHLAND’d
I wanted to punch every dude on this website for turning off their TV’s after Lost and chatting about conspiracy theories, while such a good show as The Unusuals went unwatched and cancelled.
You and me are cancelled midseason replacement buddies, CRM.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 am
Completely agree. The Unusuals was original, funny and had Amber Tamblyn and Jeremy Renner, pre-Hurt Locker. That gets cancelled, while Two and Half Men gets to chug along.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:25 am
+1 to you both. I guess we were the only three people that watched it.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:27 am
I guess we were the only three people that watched it.
It made me want to grow a moustache, just so I could make that silly moustache signal to other dudes with moustaches.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:33 am
Joe Buck Live!? More like Joe Suck Live, Right!?
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:40 am
i thought i saw that it was coming back this fall?
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:43 am
Buckaroo Bonzai > Joe Buck Live
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:55 am
I’d punch back. In your groin. Then I’d ankle you.
/LOST rules
//gave The Unusuals a chance – didn’t like it
///did you know the black cop played Michael Dawson in LOST?
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 am
Don’t you mean post National Lampoon’s Senior Trip?
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:49 am
October 23rd … Great show
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Joe Buck… more like Joe Suck! *high five* anyone? hello?
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Oh crap, someone else made the same crappy joke before me.