Spurs 111, Suns 106: Phoenix is more exciting, but the Spurs are the better team. Amare (6-for-19) struggled to finish inside against Duncan (33 points, 16 rebounds) in the second half, we thought Tony Parker outplayed Steve Nash, and Michael Finley still looked spry. The Spurs will win the title this year.

Cleveland 81, New Jersey 77: We didn’t get a chance to make a prediction in this series, but it would have been the Cavs. Somebody, somewhere, recently had the audacity to compare LeBron to Vince Carter (Kenny Smith, was that you?) which is beyond laughable. The key here is the Raptors had just one good inside player (Bosh) while the Cavs have three (Z, Gooden, Varejao). The pick here is Cavs in six. LeBron had 21-11-7 in victory; Gooden, who we think is vastly overrated, yet still occasionally effective, had 14-14.

Warriors vs. Jazz: Series starts tonight in Dennis Rodman’s favorite city, and here’s a drawback of taking two weeks off: no room on the Warriors bandwagon. Bummer. Storytime: So we’re in AC like eight years ago with a couple buddies playing poker. Weak $10 tables. Guy in the corner inhaling cigarettes is dominating. Guy at the other end is losing his shirt. As the winner keeps silently stacking his chips, Mr. Unlucky keeps going, ‘this guy’s Parker Lewis. He can’t lose!’ We’re boozing and laughing. Winner hits a blackjack, loser busts – ‘Parker Lewis!’ Winner remains silent. Finally, after what must have been his 9th victorious hand in a row – no kidding, a crowd had formed, even though it was about 2 a.m. on a Wednesday – the winner finally erupts in joy, ‘Paaarker Lewis! Paaarker Lewis!’ and we absolutely laugh our ass off like it was the funniest shit ever, while the crowd looks at us like we’re drunk delinquents (we were). Had to be there. The Jazz are Parker Lewis. They win this series in six. But we’re pulling for the Warriors.

Poor Bassy: Right before we left on the two-week hiatus, old friend Sebastian Telfair got arrested again. And now it looks like the Celtics are ready to part ways with the troubled former phenom. It’s probably just us, but now seems to be the ideal time for ESPN to follow around Telfair and compile a documentary. Why would any team want him? Is his ego too big for the NBDL? Can someone not signed to an NBA team continue to make money from lecherous shoe companies?

Swearing on Live TV, Still Cool: Bruce Willis is a fucking badass and Die Hard remains one of the Top 20 movies of all-time. But the question remains: if you curse in the United States at a sporting event, but it airs on Canadian television, does the obscenity have the same effect?