NFL Players Give Dating Tips in Cosmo
1-liner, NFL October 5th. 2009, 11:15amDating Tips from NFL Players: This, from Matt Forte of the Bears: “I love sexy lips. I hate bad breath and bad attitudes.” And there’s this, courtesy of Wes Welker of the Patriots: “whatever you do, do not snoop through my e-mail or cell phone!” And Patrick Willis of the 49ers (the next Ray Lewis!) is quite the Romeo: “If she said she doesn’t like men who play video games, that would be a problem. I’m a video game fanatic!” NFL players are the best. The best. [Cosmo]
41 Responses to “NFL Players Give Dating Tips in Cosmo”
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October 5th, 2009 at 11:18 am
That Willis article is hilarious because the Fox crew couldn’t stop talking about how nice of a kid Willis is and how respectful he is. I know they mean the next Lewis in terms of playing ability, but still.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:18 am
This, from Matt Forte of the Bears: “I love sexy lips”
He must pop a monster stiffy when he sees Jay-Z
October 5th, 2009 at 11:21 am
And this from Najeh Davenport “I love when chicks let me … in their closet.”
October 5th, 2009 at 11:24 am
+2 for the funny, -1 because i don’t think the deuce qualifies as an NFL’er anymore.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Cosmo: What’s something a woman might say that would turn you off?
Matt Cassel: “That I suck at football, and the Chiefs wasted 30 million guaranteed dollars.”
October 5th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Cosmo: What’s something a woman might say that would turn you off?
Matt Cassel: “Where’s Tyler Thigpen, already?.”
October 5th, 2009 at 11:26 am
The man used a hamper. Who among us hasn’t dropped a deuce in a chick’s hamper?
October 5th, 2009 at 11:26 am
but dirt, pioli’s a genius!!! didn’t you see what he assembled in NE?!?
/belichick is the man
October 5th, 2009 at 11:28 am
belichick is the man
New England’s defense is coming along nicely. Yet another secondary full of shitty players that play better for Belichick.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:29 am
ive only pee’d in a chick’s hamper. what is that? third base?
October 5th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Wes Welker: “Tiny dudes have tiny cocks.”
October 5th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Cosmo: What’s something a woman might say that would turn you off?
Mark Sanchez: “Hey look a defensive end is about hit you from behind! again!”
/twss
October 5th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Antonio Cromartie: ” I’m going to be broke by next Thursday, so don’t expect much in the way of child support. Oh, and you’re already pregnant.”
October 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Drew Brees: “The thing on my neck is not contagious. And never tell a guy he has terrible hair.”
October 5th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
O.J. Simpson: That I’m a cutup and I like to have fun
October 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Brady Quinn: That I’m a fag. But they already know.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Tom Brady: If Peyton was here, we would have 8 rings.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:42 am
+1
October 5th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Flozell Adams: That I can’t hear what you’re saying, and my sexual moves consist mainly of false starts and leg whips. I will hold you, though.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:43 am
What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Vishante Shiancoe: Google Vishante Shiancoe lockerroom.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Orlando Brown: That I’ll be keeping my eye on her
October 5th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Travis Henry: I never miss.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Ben Roethlisberger: My TV is broken.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Fred Smoot: That “I’m on a boat” song was made in my honor
October 5th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Philip Rivers: That stats from the end of meaningless blowouts count just as much at season’s end as the ones in wins do.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Donte Stallworth: You buy, I’ll fly. And I like an early breakfast.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Tony Romo: That when she first meets me she’ll think I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread even though I haven’t done shit except screw up in the worst possible situations. And I can win everyone back with one good day as long as I celebrate like a retard after something good happens and wear my hat backwards and smile real big.
October 5th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Rae Carruth: You get knocked up, you get shot up
October 5th, 2009 at 11:58 am
+ 1 jpq
October 5th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Aaron Rodgers: I’ll never be able to measure up to your previous guy. No matter how good I really am.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Vince Young: That I have feelings too dammit![runs away crying]
October 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
The thread should have stopped after this one
October 5th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Cosmo What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Cris Collinsworth: You know what the best thing about high school girls is? I get older, they stay the same age.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
fetch – Please report to the Yardwork post and fix die_eagles_die’s tv for his lack of understanding. Thank you.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Matt Leinart and Kyle Boller: The valtrex should prevent outbreaks.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
some good stuff here. save some ammo for the open caption post later today. picture’s a hoot
October 5th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Cosmo What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Reggie Bush: No, that dress does not make your ass look big.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I hope Kelvin Hayden puts Welka through a wall when they play in November.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Best comment in the history of this site.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Cosmo: What’s a piece of dating advice you wish women knew?
Rodney Harrison: Take off the skirt and put on some slacks.
October 5th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Ah just tell her you won’t change very much upfront but will do your best not to offend and wear deodorant. It’s true too.