Peter King has his Fine Fifteen, ESPN has its own composite power rankings, and the legendary Dr. Z’s weekly power rankings were a must-read until he was stricken silent by a stroke last year. So, why can’t TBL get in on the fun? Here’s the fifth installment of the 2009 NFL in-season power rankings, featuring the one, the only, Kristin Kreuk:

1. New York Giants (5-0): Right now, the Giants look nearly unbeatable. Then again, it was the Raiders they destroyed Sunday, and they tend to make a team look pret-ty, pret-ty good. Even David Carr went 9 for 14 in mop-up duty. Up next for the Meadowlarks, the also-undefeated New Orleans Saints in a battle for early-season NFC supremacy (sorry, Vikings).

2. Indianapolis Colts (5-0): New head coach, new defensive coordinator, new special teams coach, no Bob Sanders, no Anthony Gonzalez, no Kelvin Hayden, and yet the Colts are undefeated and giving up only 14 points a game heading into their bye week. One caveat: none of the teams they’ve beaten currently sit above .500.

knowshon-moreno3. Minnesota Vikings (5-0): The Favres haven’t lost and are putting up 31 points per game. That’s the good. The bad is this week they face a wounded Ravens team, then the Steelers, before the Nov. 1 Return to Ground Zero game in Green Bay. If the Vikings can go 2-1 over that three-game stretch, the NFC playoffs might go through the Hub Humphrey Dome.

4. New Orleans Saints (4-0): They beat up on the Sanchize, then had a breather, and now they host what might be the NFL’s best team. A win on Sunday could be crucial to the Saints staying ahead of the Falcons (who they play in two weeks) in the NFC South’s two-horse race.

5. Denver Broncos (5-0): Is it too soon to toss around McGenius? Yeah, probably, but at least McDumbass is a thing of the past. [Ed. May run this Knowshon Moreno weekly. Pimp.]

6. Cincinnati Bengals (4-1): Can the Bengals really win the AFC North? Anything’s possible. Their scant 11-point points for/points against differential seems to indicate they’re due for a fall to Earth. But if they can claim two out of their next three (Texans, Bears, Ravens), they’ll put themselves in AFNO pole position for the second half.

7. Philadelphia Eagles (3-1): The schedule makers have smiled upon the City of Bromance, as the Eagles get the Raiders and Redskins before hosting the Giants in two weeks. There’s a chance Buck/Aikman will have the call.

kim_kardashian_reggie_bush_8. Atlanta Falcons (3-1): Matt Ryan had his first touchdown spike - ever! - Sunday, in the Falcons’ 45-10 sodomizing of the Niners. Problem is, it came with 8:20 left in the game and the Falcons already up 30. Guess he still has a couple things to learn.

9. Chicago Bears (3-1): Chicago fans say: Too low. The Bears could beat both the Broncos and Bengals head-to-head. Rest of the world says: Prove it.

10. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2): Big Ben takes a lot of criticism on this site (some deserved, some not), but his play this season has been exemplary. He’s completing 74 percent of his passes, and his YPA is inching toward nine. His early-season penchant for pick-sixes is concerning, as is the Steelers’ struggles to put away lesser opponents. Still, a lot of time left for them to right this ship.

11. New England Patriots (3-2): Hey, sometimes you’re just standing on the tracks when the train’s coming through, right?

12. Baltimore Ravens (3-2): The 400-plus total yards given up to the Chargers? Understandable. Holding the ball for only 25 minutes against the Pats? It happens. Giving up 400-plus total yards AND holding the ball for only 25 minutes against the Bengals? Cause for concern. Rex Ryan is not waddling through that door.

mark_sanchez_13. New York Jets (3-2): Only $69.95, folks. Super Bowl bound! [Ed. No beef with being ranked below Pats despite head-to-head win. New England has two quality wins, New York one.]

14. San Francisco 49ers (3-2): Oh, to be a dirty sock in the laundry basket of the Niners’ locker room Sunday. Messir Singletary could not have been pleased with his defense giving up six TD’s, nor Dre Bly’s geriatric highstepping.

15. San Diego Chargers (2-2): Good luck getting something for Shawne Merriman before the trade deadline, A.J.

16: Green Bay Packers (2-2): Question: What goes on in Green Bay on a fall Sunday when the Packers aren’t playing? Please send all replies to cloakofknight@hotmail.com

miles-austin17. Dallas Cowboys (3-2): Miles Austin’s first start was also the greatest single-game receiving performance in franchise history. How the hell do you follow that up? Way to set yourself up to fail, kid.

18. Arizona Cardinals (2-2): Hey, look, the Cardinals are beating the Texans 21-0! Maybe the Super Bowl hangover is over? Wait, what, something happened after that?

19. Miami Dolphins (2-3): Three Mondays ago, the Dolphins had a chance to put away a likely playoff team at home and slapdicked it. Last night, they finished the job.

20. Houston Texans (2-3): The second-best team in the AFC South?

elisabeth-hasselbeck21. Seattle Seahawks (2-3): Matt Hasselbeck plays, the Seahawks dominate. Matt Hasselbeck doesn’t play, the Seahawks get dominated. Pretty simple, really. Jim Mora Jr. should invest in one of those upside-down hangy things Bruce Wayne used in Tim Burton’s first Batman film to keep Hasselbeck upright the rest of the season. [Ed. His brother's wife at right.]

22. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3): The second-best team in the AFC South?

23. Carolina Panthers (1-3): Jake Delhere’stheball busted out the Murphy’s Law excuse when explaining away the Panthers’ September troubles. At least he was able to run over DeAngelo Hall in the closing minutes Sunday. That has to hurt his confidence.

24. Detroit Lions (1-4): So far this season, the Lions have won a game and put a scare into the defending Super Bowl champions, driving into Steelers’ territory for a potential tying score Sunday - before giving up three consecutive sacks and falling short. This Lions team has a 4-12 look to it, which in a league loaded with FUBAR franchises should be enough to keep them from picking in the top five.

matt-stafford-girlfriend25. Washington Redskins (2-3): The Redskins - 4-9 in their last 13 games - failed to reach 200 yards of total offense against the previously-winless Carolina Panthers. Yet, Jason Campbell completed 17 of 23 passes. Oh, for 145 yards. Nevermind.

26. Tennessee Titans (0-5): The Titans’ defense and special teams forced two early Indy turnovers Sunday night, setting their offense up inside the Colts’ 35-yard line twice in the first quarter. They moved the ball five yards each time, settling for two field goals, at which point TMQ wrote “game over” in his notebook.

27. Cleveland Browns (1-4): CBS affiliates in Ohio and upstate New York could have aired a Two and a Half Men marathon instead of the Browns’ “victory” Sunday and no one would have complained. Slap some lime green uniforms on these two teams, take a few people out of the stands and you basically had the California Redwoods slapfighting the Las Vegas Locomotives.

28. Buffalo Bills (1-4): Hey Dick, it could be worse, you could be getting fired in Michigan.

29. Kansas City Chiefs (0-5): Larry Johnson is projected to carry the ball 298 times this season - for 723 yards. That’s right, 723 yards. There’s nothing wrong with admitting your front office was duped into doling out a deplorable contract. You don’t have to doom your team just to feel like you’re getting your money’s worth.

30. Oakland Raiders (1-4): What is there to say, really?

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-5): The Bucs ran 75 offensive plays to the Eagles’ 48, won the T.O.P. battle 35 minutes to 25 minutes, and even benefited from 110 Eagles’ penalty yards. They lost by 19 points.

32. St. Louis Rams (0-5): Sunday marked the Rams’ 15th consecutive loss, spread across two seasons. The Rams’ offense, led by Kyle “Ozzie Newsome graded me the same as Philip Rivers” Boller, racked up 400 yards on the Vikings’ defense, but four turnovers led to another miserable defeat.