We spent a large portion of last night devouring Celtic blog, and scouring the Herald and Globe. Then we read Chad Ford. Here’s the conclusion: nobody has a damn clue what the Celtics are going to do in the draft.

Here’s how we (that’s us and our faithful readers) think the first four picks will shake out, assuming there are no trades, and the situations like Zach Randolph, Rashard Lewis, and the Sonics organization as a whole are sorted out: Oden, Durant, Conley, Horford. [We all decided Tuesday that the Hawks are making a mistake and should take Brandan Wright, and then grab Acie Law at 11.]

Which leads us to the Celtics, the biggest mess in the NBA. Clusterfuck is an understatment. The Knicks, financially are in ruins, but the pieces actually fit in a remotely cogent manner. Not the case with the Celtics. Here’s what they’ve got: a great small forward, a pretty good small forward, a bunch of athletic shooting guards who can’t shoot, a combo guard to run point, and a bunch of tweeners up front. We haven’t seen anything in shambles like this since that morning Britney Spears shaved her head.

Repeat after us: Boston will not take Yi Jianlian. Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers are nearly out of time, and won’t have three years for him to pan out. Where to look? If you’re confident the C’s can win with two space-eating 6-10 guys in the middle (Jefferson, Perkins), then we’ll buy it. Pierce is set at the three, and he’s backed up by Wally (absurd logic; two very expensive players at the same position), and the backcourt is shaky with Rajon Rondo and Delonte West, neither of whom shoots well. Dunk champ Gerald Green and Tony Allen are scoring athletes … without a position.

Initially, we had Roy Hibbert pegged for the Celtics. Then you could slide Jefferson/Perkins to power forward, trade the other, and have Ryan Gomes as the backup. Then Hibbert went back to Georgetown, leaving the likes of Joakim Noah, Washington’s Spencer Hawes, and a bunch of tall Euros. So then you think - assuming Conley’s gone - what about a shooting guard? Corey Brewer is fantastic, but most folks are pegging him to be a small forward in the Pippen mold. Nick Young? seems too high for him.

Here are a couple stats to throw into the argument: Boston had the second worst shooting percentage in the NBA, and was sixth worst in assists. They also turned the ball over at an alarming rate - sixth most in the league. This leads us to believe they’ll take a guard.

We’ll offer two solutions and toss it to you: 1) blow this team up; trade any/everyone and start over or 2) draft the best player on the board and take Corey Brewer. He usually guarded the opponent’s best player, and shut down Mike Conley in the National Championship.