Pick-Up Lines, Courtesy of Zoloft-Popping Elijah Dukes
Uncategorized June 18th. 2007, 4:02pm
Our favorite tipster in the Sunshine State was kind enough to send us a rather tremendous radio interview with the ex-wife of Tampa Bay problem child Elijah Dukes. With the retirement of lunatic luminaries such as Dennis Rodman, Mike Tyson, and John Rocker, Dukes is rapidly emerging as the craziest wacko in a sports uniform.
Among the highlights from the interview:
* Dukes has been diagnosed as bi-polar and is a ‘good husband when he’s on his medication’
* She’s trying to figure out which 17-year-old slept with her ex-husband, because ‘those girls have kept my children before’
* Elijah’s most frequently-used pickup line is: ‘I want you to have my baby’ and he follows that up with ‘Can I be your first baby daddy?’
* Dukes once told his ex, ’seeing my sisters and my mom with so many men, I don’t trust women’
With the Devil Rays only seven games under .500, they’ll probably be somewhat interesting for the remainder of the month. In the monotonous days of July and August, we suggest any paper covering the Devil Rays employ a Pedro Gomez-type reporter to follow Dukes’ every move. If he brushes his teeth, we want to know the toothpaste. The cell phone from which he texted his ex a photo of a gun … what kind of phone is it? Does he sing in the shower? If so, what?
Elijah’s Ex (Ron and Ian’s Podcasts)
EARLIER: Elijah Dukes, What’s Not to Love?
18 Responses to “Pick-Up Lines, Courtesy of Zoloft-Popping Elijah Dukes”
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June 18th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
This dude needs a brain scan to see if he has one.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
In spite of all this, is the Devil Rays would shop him, how many teams would make a call? Let’s start with the entire NL Central and about every losing team in the league.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Saw Dukes play in Canada , like three weeks ago.He could be great he’s strong , got speed .Hopefully he figures this one out before he reaches Lawrence Phillips status.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Dukes is truly skyrocketting up the charts as the most talked about athlete on blogs. Soon enough TBL you might just have to have a Category devoted to Elijah.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
‘Can I be your first baby daddy?’ Is there a more horrifying line out there? Basically he’s simultaneously calling the woman a slut (since he’s implying he’ll be the ‘first’ of many) AND telling her he wants to knock her up (which is just about the LAST thing a woman wants to hear before doing anything). Wow.
June 18th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Nationals expressed interest last week …
June 18th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Have the Bengals expressed interest as of yet?
June 18th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Redhead-
Cut Dukes some slack. Apparently, “Can I be your first babby daddy?” works.
I’m gonna try that pick-up line tonight.
ImKeithHernandez-
No, the Bengals have not expressed interest, but Shawn Kemp and Pacman Jones both want to hang out with Dukes.
June 18th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Wow…that’s all I can say.
June 18th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Am I the only one thinking of a Pacman/Elijah show on the Travel Channel?
Each week, Pacman and Elijah travel to Atlanta, Vegas and New York City to check out the latest in adult dance clubs. Make sure to tune in for the special “Axe Adam & Elijah” segment, when guys ask how they can pick up hoes, “pay” the babysitter and have your posse shoot up the club if things get crazy.
June 18th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Phil - I’d call in to work sick tomorrow and draft a pitch to the Travel channnel about this show. I really think it could work. It’s not like Pacman has shit going on for the next year … and pretty soon, Dukes will be at home, too
June 18th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
“mtv sopring break 2008: pacman and elijah hit cancun!”
June 18th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
TBL-
Great photo with the article. “Single and Disease Free.” Very apropos.
I believe that’s what Dukes tells them also.
June 18th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
The sentence “trying to figure out which one of the 17 year olds he slept with” struck me as a bit disturbing. Am I the only one who thought that?
June 18th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Usually, a pick-up line is something that sounds good, but doesn’t make it into your everyday promise repertoire.
In this case, Elijah Dukes, 1 - Common Sense, 0
June 18th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Yo bitch it aint your heart I want to break
June 19th, 2007 at 4:40 am
How did an idiot like this marry an educated, well-spoken woman like this? Why would anyone with a college degree get messed up with a guy like him?
June 20th, 2007 at 6:12 am
talkin all that shit on the radio bout him,i cant help but believe this woman wants 2 get killed by him within 30 days!