NFL Power Rankings: Week 7
NFL October 27th. 2009, 5:30pm
Peter King has his Fine Fifteen, ESPN has its own composite power rankings, and the legendary Dr. Z’s weekly power rankings were a must-read until he was stricken silent by a stroke last year. So, why can’t TBL get in on the fun? Here’s the seventh installment of the 2009 NFL in-season power rankings, featuring farm animals!
1. New Orleans Saints (6-0): Drew Brees is human, after all. Down three touchdowns to the Dolphins, the Saints stormed back in South Beach, outscoring the Phins 22-0 in the final stanza. Brees had a Russellesque 58.9 QB rating and the Saints only converted five of 15 third downs. This team isn’t perfect, but that comeback was damn impressive.
2.Indianapolis Colts (6-0): There aren’t many times when a team can have an “off outing” and win by 36, but this truly was one of those. Manning was, shall we say “displaced,” on a few deep balls, Garcon was terrible, and some sloppy defensive penalties extended Rams’ possessions.
3. Denver Broncos (6-0): Who was happier about the Bengals’ 45-10 demolition of the Bears, Cedric Benson or Kyle Orton?
4. Vikings (6-1): Best running back in the league. Best defensive line in the league. The aging QB under center can still get it done but things have to be on his terms. Like indoors. Preferably against a bad defense.
5. New York Giants (5-2): That sordid love affair you guys and I were having is totally off after Sunday night.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2): If the NFL were a Twilight novel (ZOMG how cool would that be!!!), the Steelers would definitely be Edward. You don’t need him to be entertaining, you have more fun when he’s not around, yet everything feels more important when that translucent bastard hangs about.
7. New England Patriots (5-2): The Titans and Bucs no doubt appreciated those drubbings. The ones they receive the rest of the year will look good to their fans compared to what the Patriots dished out.
8. Atlanta Falcons (4-2): Frauds? Seems a bit harsh, but after receiving a week’s worth of praise and adulation, watching sweat-drenched Miles Austin speed past them again and again Sunday had to have been deflating.
9. Packers (4-2): Aaron Rodgers’ YPA is off the charts and he’s thrown 11 TD’s against just two interceptions. Who cares what the old guy in Minnesota’s doing, Rodgers is an assassin.
10. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2): Cedric Benson is the leading rusher in the National Football League. Chad Ochocinco’s on pace for a 1,500-yard season. I’m not saying the Bengals are going to the Super Bowl or anything, but…
11. Arizona Cardinals (4-2): Last year on an East Coast road trip against an upper-crust team, the Cardinals barely competed. They went on to make the Super Bowl. Sunday night on an East Coast road trip against an upper-crust team, the Cardinals came away victorious. This book could get good before we put it down.
12. Dallas Cowboys (4-2): They may not send 89 dudes to the Pro Bowl this year, but they’re a good team. And the Giants have opened the door in the NFC East just enough for them to sneak away with the division.
13. Philadelphia Eagles (4-2): Daniel Synder, Daniel Snyder, Daniel Snyder…
14. Houston Texans (4-3): Matt Schaub fought off a scrappy, cagey Alex Smith performance to throw for two touchdowns and 260 yards passing. The Texans aren’t trustworthy, but their offense is going to scare plenty of teams.
15. Baltimore Ravens (3-3): Bye week…couldn’t have been better. Well, the Bengals and Steelers could’ve lost instead of extending their division lead, but you can’t have it and eat it.
16. New York Jets (4-3): Leon Washington broke his fibula and got carted off. Hakeem Nicks broke into Mark Sanchez’s house and stole his Rookie of the Year trophy.
17. Chicago Bears (3-3): So, uh, seeing Cedric up that close must’ve been pretty hard for you guys, huh? Probably brought back a lot of great memories.
17. San Francisco 49ers (3-3): So good.
18. San Diego Chargers (3-2): Yeah, Phildo completed 60 percent of his passes for three TD’s. Yeah, Vincent Jackson is awesome. But once again it’s almost November and the Chargers are still sleepwalking. This isn’t going to end well.20. Buffalo Bills (3-4): Don’t look now but the Buffalo Bills have pulled themselves out of the AFC East basement. I don’t wanna start tossing around words like “playoffs” or anything, but…
21. Miami Dolphins (2-4): The Dolphins have had the two best teams in the NFL on the canvas, but have been unable to deliver a Tyson. They could easily be 4-2 with two top-notch wins.
23. Seattle Seahawks (2-4): The upshot for the Seahawks in all this NFC West sucktitude is that they’re 2-4 and still have a realistic shot of winning the division. The downside is that there’s not a potential NFC playoff team they can beat. Probably.
24. Oakland Raiders (2-5): Do you think JaMarcus Russell gets out of bed, throws on some gigantic shorts, takes a look at the NFL passer rating leaders and says a prayer for Derek Anderson?
25. Carolina Panthers (2-4): The Panthers gave up 167 yards of total offense – and lost by double digits. How does that happen?
26. Detroit Lions (1-5): Not a one, not one of ‘em lets you loose…
27. Kansas City Chiefs (1-6): The Chiefs were down by 20, things weren’t going well – and then Matt Cassel threw three straight interceptions.
28. Cleveland Browns (1-6): In seven games this season, the Browns have scored 72 points. Their defense isn’t that good, but if it were, would it matter? Only the Rams and Raiders are worse on offense.
29. Washington Redskins (2-4): This whole playcalling thing still kind of boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
30. St. Louis Rams (0-7): That 42-6 final score doesn’t look good on paper, but the Rams kept Jim Sorgi on the sidelines for over 55 minutes. A small victory, sure, but an important one.
31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-7): And when the Americas brought their product overseas to showcase it, this is what they presented. This is probably the same reason we lost the Olympics to Rio.
32. Tennessee Titans (0-6): Still quitters.
97 Responses to “NFL Power Rankings: Week 7”
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October 27th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
“titans too high.”
firsties!
October 27th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
The Vikings don’t really have to do much if anything regarding their game plan. I would say that they need to be more aggressive when inside the redzone, but take away a horrendous tripping call, and this team is 7-0.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Bengals beat Packers
October 27th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
TBL, you ought to pull this down right now and put it back up tomorrow at 9.15.
These Cap Rooney NFL things are too good to waste on the dinner hour.
I’m emailing you this same comment.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
+4.23 Dirt
I never saw Giraffe’s at the county fair?
October 27th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
/Paolo’d
October 27th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
awesome
October 27th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
I was showing off my clout, Lefty. I didn’t realize how big time I was until about 20 minutes ago.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Nothing says big time like a minor Superman villain. I mean, Brainiac can take the Bottled City of Kandor and shove it up his ass. Am I right fellas?
October 27th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
G-men have beat absolutely no one. No way do they deserve to be above the Steelers or the Patriots… heck probably not the Bengals either.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
simmons is on PTI he is getting big time now.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
If Simmons wanted he’d be on from 3-6 everyday just smiling at the camera. He’s gonna be on Colbert again, this week I think.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
12 days until texans at colts. Im optimistic.
/watch peyton crush my optimism with 380 yards and 4 tds
//i guess im not that optimistic then?
October 27th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Bill simmons talking some serious, serious crazy-talk shit on PTI.
Durant-LeBron is nutty.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Seattle too high.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
damnit. Was it 5 good minutes with simmons? I think i missed it
October 27th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
i read the last days of krypton novel and wondered shy brainiac didnt brainwash kryptonians to be his super army and destroy superman? it said that every kryptonian would react differently to the yellow sun but why not take the chance that some of them have the same side effects as superman?
October 27th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Bill Simmons has lost his mind.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
if he was that big he would have had his own radio show by now.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I will allow this commment because Dallas beats themselves.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
If he wanted it he’d have it. He has his podcasts, which I’m sure he likes better.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
How the fuck do you let DeSean Jackson get 20 yards past 4 defenders on 3rd and 23?
/24 hours ago’d
//still incredulous
October 27th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
bill simmons sucks
/low blow
//cry taguchi! cry!
October 27th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I was showing off my clout, Lefty. I didn’t realize how big time I was until about 20 minutes ago.
I’m waiting for you to go 3rd person on us mere mortals
/Chosen One’d
//We are Just Witnesses’d
October 27th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
I’ll take dealing with simmons over anything that Rick Reilly puts out
October 27th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
I’ve already shed far too many tears today over the broken shell that used to be called Juan Pablo Montoya. An old white man said tacos in connection with him for godsakes.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
wilbon and simmons are both nuts
artest >>>>>>> ariza
October 27th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
I’ve already shed far too many tears today over the broken shell that used to be called Juan Pablo Montoya. An old white man said tacos in connection with him for godsakes.
I pray it wasn’t a blackjack
October 27th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Thats like saying I’d rather have a cold over the swine flu.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Exactly. A stop there could have been huge for Washington. I thought they played well and still had a decent shot, up until that play.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
i actually like simmons. i was just being mean. reilly however sucks big time.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I agree with this, but I just don’t care about Boston sports enough to read anything Simmons writes or records any more. And seriously, for all the titles Boston has won recently, that dude bitches a whole fucking lot.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
A lot of teams are going to have a shot as long as Donny McNabb keeps trying to complete bounce passes
October 27th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Wilbon is as big a blowhard and as overrated as Reilly
October 27th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
i just heard what simmons said about durant and i have to say he is right when he says that durant is only 21 but he forgets the lebron is only 24 and hasnt reached his ceiling yet. lebron has at least 5 championships in his future(maybe not with the cavs…sorry spence). book it.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Totaly agree with this. I used to be taken in by his gee whiz attitude and the general fun that is/was PTI (plus I always liked Kornheiser), but if you actually listen to his opinions and read his columns there’s nothing there.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
If I had it to do over again, I’d put the Steelers and Patriots ahead of the Giants. Mea Culpa.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I need to go to Sparty and Friends just to read how sad Sparty must be about his top five QB and Superbowl team.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Now THAT’s a bannin’.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
John Smoltz, genius:
“I’ll tell you what I would do against them,” Smoltz said, “and I know nobody would ever do this. I would treat it like a spring training game with my pitchers. I would keep bringing in a fresh arm to pitch to them, rather than asking my starting pitcher to go deep into the game trying to get them out two, three, four times. They just wear out a pitcher.
“I know nobody would ever do it, because what message would people think you were giving your starting pitcher? But their lineup is so deep I would change pitchers every two or three innings, just like you do in spring training.”
October 27th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
wilbon is like ahmad rashad for this generation. he always pulls the ” im friends with [insert famous athlete]” card to establish that he knows what he is talking about.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
tj
Andre Agassi is desperate for media attention.
/end tj
//too lazy to see if this was already mentioned
October 27th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
but if you actually listen to his opinions and read his columns there’s nothing there.
he’s way too tight with all his various boys to be objective about them (like Barkley as one of many examples), so as you say he says words, but nothing of substance
I’ll take a Whitlock who at least swings for the fences once in a while, even though there are misses over a Wilbon who is trying to safely move the runner from 1st to 2nd every time
October 27th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
I still don’t get how Ahmad Rashad became an NBA commentator/host/analyst what it is he does. That’d be like John Starks being on an NFL pregame show.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
@TST: I’m glad someone else here likes Kornheiser…He needs a platform of some sort (TV, Radio, Podcast, hell even a column would be nice) where he only gives advice to people. PETA had this demonstration set up on campus today and rather than being brainwashed into going vegetarian, all I could do when I saw those pictures of dogs fighting, was think of how Kornheiser always mentioned that the last place he’d want to die is in a dog track parking lot.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Jay, threadjacking my threadjack.
/bitch
October 27th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
wow, this came out crazy late today. imagine all the work i could have wasted had this been posted before 5pm.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I still don’t get how Ahmad Rashad became an NBA commentator/host/analyst what it is he does. That’d be like John Starks being on an NFL pregame show.
he and Lynn Swann must have had info on the Presidents of NBC and ABC for the amount of airtime they had for 20 years. Thank God NBC is wising up on Tiki. Now if they can just figure out what Siragusa’s got on Rupert Murdoch
October 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
@beadlemania – That is a pretty interesting idea by Smoltz. If a manager did that and pulled it off it would go down as one of the greatest moves of all time
October 27th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Or Jesse Palmer on a college football show.
/credentials: benched at Florida, 3rd string NFL quarterback, The Bachelor
October 27th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
SD -16.5 over Oakland. Week 1 wasn’t THAT long ago, was it?
October 27th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
October 27th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
I would avoid that line
October 27th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Atlanta +350 moneyline at New Orleans… hmmmmmmm…
October 27th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
/credentials: benched at Florida, 3rd string NFL quarterback, The Bachelor, having nice teeth
DON’T FORGET THE HAIR!!!
/hernia and taguchi
October 27th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Don’t forget his suits. He and Merril Hoge have the same tailor.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
bsanders, I’m flying home to Indy for the Colts/Pats game in Nov. By then the Pats will be in the top 4 in the league. I also watched an “NFL’s greatest games” 2007 AFC championship Colts/Pats
October 27th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
I think Manuel absolutely should (except for with Lee). Let Hamels go twice through the lineup, then let Blanton do it. It makes a lot of sense to do it at home too, since you can run more pinch hitters out there.
/by the way Jay I was kidding, which Im sure you knew
October 27th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
/Richard Seymour’d
October 27th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Interesting idea. Didn’t Pinella try something similar for a stretch when he was managing Tampa a few years back? I recall Leyland started reliever Ted Power in a playoff game against Cinci to get the Reds to start their line-up against RHPs before bringing in his lefty starter.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
what an awesome game.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Why would anyone ever try, let alone get addicted, to crystal meth? It’s a white trash drug, nothing glamorous about it, it doesn’t sound like an enjoyable experience, you know it’s made by people who failed chemistry class (breaking bad excepted), it does terrible things to you in quite an obvious way… I just don’t understand it.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Did I just read a Twighlight analogy?
/Turns in TBL commenting card.
//Takes card back.
///Still scratching my head.
////I’m old.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I am more likely to believe that McKenzie Phillips had sex with her dad than I am to believe that Andre did meth.
/meth sells books
//and gets you on Oprah
October 27th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
October 27th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I spent an hour in a graduate course listening to people discuss Twilight last week. (Shakes head, sighs)
October 27th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I heard that people who do Crystal Meth go hunting for Native American Arrowheads.
/serious
October 27th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
“I know nobody would ever do it, because its better to fail in the same way and follow conventional wisdom than fail differently and have to take the heat for it. .
yeah but look at the shit Girardi got in the ALCS for “over-managing”? Could you imagine him trying this and failing? Or Manuel trying it? The “stupid country hick” talk would be back in a heartbeat, even with a shiny WS ring on his finger
October 27th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
In my experience they lose a lot of teeth and are always on you to let them give you a tattoo cause they need the money.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Awesome, should be a great one. I went last year, sadly. I’d like to go this year but I’ll be in Texas then. Naptown will be electric that night. I love that NFL’s Greatest Games thing. About 1/3 of it is Rodney Harrison saying how awesome he is and how the Pats would’ve won if he’d played.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Jesus christ.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Billy passed the third grade….oh what a glorious day!
October 27th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Sad days…Sad days.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I have friends who I otherwise hold in high regard who read Twilight. I don’t get it, but to each their own. I had to spend 10 minutes looking up Twilight summaries just to make that analogy. God, I suck.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
My friend smoked some weed that was laced with PCP one time. He freaked out, thought he was Native American, started pounding drumbeats on the floor, ran through a parking lot shirtless “hunting for buffalo”. The next day he calmed down, looked at the bag, then took it to our high school and sold it to some freshmen.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I spent an hour in a graduate course listening to people discuss Twilight last week. (Shakes head, sighs)
and my 9th grade daughter is reading Homer for class
/wtf??
October 27th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Thats awesome
October 27th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
I have friends who I otherwise hold in high regard who read Twilight. I don’t get it, but to each their own. I had to spend 10 minutes looking up Twilight summaries just to make that analogy. God, I suck. bsanders
Just busting balls. Not intended for you to take offense.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
So do I, and I’ll admit that I’ve seen the movie because I was dating a girl who wanted to, but I just cannot imagine having to listen to people discuss it for an hour. It’s just not that interesting.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
I haven’t done anything stronger than weed in a number of years, but I really don’t believe anyone who claims these type of drug experiences. Then again, maybe I was getting bad shit.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
I bought a dime bag laced with PCP freshman year of college. I ended up staying up ’til 6 a.m., slept through a midterm and had to lie to the professor and tell him my grandpa had a heart attack. He let me retake it in his office, with the teacher’s guide on his book shelf. Sucker.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
@ YYSA: That guy smoked all the time (probably still does), so for him to lose his mind after a few hits had us all scared. Thankfully he was okay, and there were only good memories from that night and not bad ones. And for him to turn around and sell it to some freshman, that’s just brilliant.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
From what I’ve heard, it’s basically told from the point of view of this girl who spends most of time slobbering over some pale dude, calling him beautiful and whatnot. If I wanted to hear that, I would’ve brought a tape recorder to a Titanic screening back in ‘98.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
USC
Media-groomed New York Superstar
Grew up near NYC
/They all come down to this
October 27th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
fixed. lets be realistic here.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
i smoked so much weed i went blind one time. i have never done anything stronger than just weed.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Oi Vey.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
The professor had written a jounrnal article about (I shit you not) The Vampire Chronicles and humanism/consumerism therein, and that led to a discussion of if these principles could be applied to Twilight, which the class (most of whom are high school teachers) claimed to be have read mostly because they would be unable to connect with their students without this information. It degenerated horribly from there.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Him never wanting to fuck her is also apparently quite important.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
She’s growing up so fast.
/seriously, can their be a bigger waste of time than teaching that to a freshman in high school. Why not just give them Spenser’s The Fairie Queene and t-shirts that say “I will always fucking hate books”
October 27th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I hear that is a metaphor for something
October 27th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
+1. I’m tempted to put that as my facebook status.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Yeah, that’s pretty much the movie, then some vampire shit happens.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
I missed hanging out here. +1 cassino.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
and my 9th grade daughter is reading Homer Cliff notes for class
fixed. lets be realistic here.
no, believe it or not, they read it in class aloud and discuss. That’ll help her a lot in her adult life
October 27th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Cap Rooney/bsanders apparently has a vagina.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Stop at 14 damnit! Too many rankings out of place to comment amongst those for sure.
On the Giants — uh, no, speak for yourself bsanders you were the only one in love with them for weeks all but ignoring my posts about E. Manning’s injury coming to the fore with the colder weather just as I told you repeatedly via e-mail and on here that it would!