Two Outs, Bottom of the Ninth … Do You Go With Scarlett or Alba? (A Quasi-Sports Discussion)
Athletes and Celebrities June 27th. 2007, 7:11pm
Slowest sports day of the year? It’s up there. So we’re stepping out of the sports realm for a moment and asking a silly question. A friend mentioned to us that he recently had discussed the following with someone, and a conclusion could not be reached: who has dated hotter women, Derek Jeter or Justin Timberlake? The obvious answer is: who cares, Timberlake’s a douche. But allow us to give this a crack, turning the argument into a first-round MLB postseason series:
Game 1: Music women. Let’s give the nod to Timberlake because Britney in her prime beats Mariah Carey in her prime.
Game 2: Similar sounding names. Alyssa Milano is hotter than Vanessa Minnillo, so Timberlake gets that one, too.
Game 3: Seriously dated. This one’s to Jeter, since Jordana Brewster trumps Cameron Diaz.
Game 4: Jessica Biel. As you can see above, Timberlake’s with her now … Jeter spent a romantic holiday weekend with her on New Year’s Eve. Since Jeter got her first … let’s give this one to the Yankees captain. Call it a walk-off homer in the 11th.
Game 5: Hottest they’ve been with: Scarlett Johansson vs Jessica Alba. Wow. This one’s difficult. We’ve already talked to two guys about this, and both went with Scarlett. We’re Alba guys ourselves. It’s really a tossup.
Now, back to actual sports talk. First, we’ve got to locate our johnson, re-attach it, and then we’ll be good to go.
79 Responses to “Two Outs, Bottom of the Ninth … Do You Go With Scarlett or Alba? (A Quasi-Sports Discussion)”
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June 27th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
your johnson can be found…in a box.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
I would take Diaz over Brewster. Brewster is better looking, but Cameron Diaz has this “I’m crazy and would f*** the hell out of you like the crazy freak I am” look to her that’s so hot. I imagine Brewster being a deadfish where Diaz would take control and make the guy her bitch.
I agree with the Alba decision too.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
It’s not that Brewster is better looking than Diaz. It’s that Diaz is NOT good-looking. In fact, I think she’s pretty busted.
Also, word on the street is that Timberlake isn’t dating Biel. She just insisted that she wanted to travel with him while he was on tour and he didn’t want her there. Long lines at Manhattan Duane Reades provide ample opportunity to read the gossip rags.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Tossup between Johansson and Alba? Alba all day my friends.
You all deserve three minutes with Kimbo for that one.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Good question, tough call. If I had to choose one to be with for one night, it’d be Alba. In that sense, she’s sexier. But for long term, Scarlett has that classy, 50’s-hollywood vibe going, so I’d choose her.
But since the series is on the line, I went to google images for a refresher. The first two rows of Alba’s picture results are simply astonishing. And as amazing and perfect as Scarlett looks sometimes, I’ve seen photos were she doesn’t look that great.
So I’m going with Alba.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
you gotta go with Jeter based solely on the fact that he doesn’t have a gay arm band tattoo on his leg…also because he is what everyone strives to be…i would much rather be the shortstop for the New York Yankees banging hot ass chicks, then a pop singer banging hot ass chicks
June 27th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Britney prime over Mariah prime? No way.
Find that first CD with her in that black dress, grabbing the mic stand, the curly hair, her 8 octave voice, the possibilities are endless.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Wait, didn’t Jeter get together with Johansson like 2 years ago? I think I remember reading that somewhere. Did I just make that up?
June 27th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Nah, you didn’t make that up. Jeter dated Johansson and Biel before Timberlake. Toss in a prime Mariah, Brewster and Minnillo among others and Jete “wins” easy.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
How did the fact that Jeter dated a Miss Universe get left off?
June 27th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I say the first one to bag Mindy Cohen is the true winner
June 27th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
I guarantee if you polled 100 super hot chicks, 75% of them would rather bang Justin Timberlake than Derek Jeter.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Plus Jeter’s banging ARod. That’s got to count for something.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Have you lost your mind?!! Brittany in her prime couldn’t carry Mariah Carey’s dirty underwear on her worst day! Carey’s voice could crack glass. Spears was lucky to hold a tune. Don’t be fooled by the little dance routines. Listen to Carey’s early records when she busted out her licks! Those two are not in the same league.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Definitely Alba over Johannsen.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
No one disagrees that Mariah Carey is a better singer, but that’s not what this is about. If it were, I’d give the egde to Scarlett because The Prestige was better than The Illusionist.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Spidergirl24….I understand you are a girl but we were not evaluating talent…we evaluating their hotness…you could mussle these girls for all we care…but in that Vain I always thought of Britney as greasy with a butter face so I am going with Mariah there….as for Alba Scarlett…Scarlett would lay their…Alba seems like the good time…both are hot so in this case I think talent is a decider
June 27th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Goose: Scarlett does have the 50’s hollywood vibe thing. If by “50’s hollywood vibe”, you mean she looks fat and pasty. Give me Alba.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Wow- i went back and forth and this is a serious debate… I will first start by giving props to both, as that list is phenominal (and I am a Sox fan, cant slight Jeter a bit).
On the Brewster vs. Cameron… Cameron has poor skin and Brewster is banging, but Cameron is definitely ‘f*ck me’ crazy. I mean, she has said on film ‘BUT I SWALLOWED YOUR C*M- THAT MEANS LOVE’ (paraphrasing Vanilla Sky
Miriah Carey may have been hot, but loses credit for going crazy and quai-fat… Same as Brittney. And neither went hottt crazy, both batshit crazy… Pretty sure Timberlake likely revenge banged C. Aguilera on tour immediately after breaking up with Britney. Thats huge points. And to quote Old School- he gets crazy ass, Boy Band ass… He gets the music column hands down.
Alba vs. Beil vs. Johanson HAS to be a push. With every new picture I flip on which is hotter. Biel has a killer lower half and an amazing sultry face. johanson has the upstairs that sits like no other and lips that could suck-start a Harley- PLUS the 50s pinup thing. Alba has it going on all around plus the best skin tone- but lacks the ‘I will rip you in half in the sack’. Beil has to come off as the dirrrtiest.
Vanessa Menillo (sp?) is amazing. I think she trumps Milano and we are all caught still in our teenage crush on her. Plus she is mad young for Jeter so again- points.
In the end, you have to give it to Jeter for longevity’s sake. But lets keep in perspective that Timberlake is young. Jeter is 33 to Timberlake’s 26… Duncan has had a great consistent career and just put another trophy on the mantle this year, but we all know its the LeBron show the next ten years.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
spidergirl, who is one favorite commenters because of her awesome consistency …
in terms of music talent, yes, it’s mariah. not even close. but we’re talking hotness, and britney 5 years ago blows her away. right now, i’d take mariah, though. crazy and all.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Minillo, Jordana Brewster, Jessica Biel (#2 was there first)… Jeter in a walk-off.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Another question is, who’s more insane nowdays, Britney or Mariah? Could be a GSW/Dallas upset there… Britney’s hit pretty high numbers on the Batshit Insane Meter lately.
Am I the only person that would take Scarlett?
June 27th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
RomanWarHelmet-you’re right-I misread the feature-even as far as the “hotness” level is concerned: Brittany is mere trailer trash.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Would you rather be the first to finish with Brittney or slappin’ around sloppy box with Mariah…
I take anything ending with ‘Alba’ for my money shot…
June 27th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
I wouldn’t do Britney w/ KFed’s junk now, but she *was* hot just four years ago.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Man, what would it be like if these were the decisions you really had to make? I envy both, but as much as I dislike both for being a tad overrated (in my opinion) I’m going to give the nod to Jeter. I’m sure Timberlake tapped plenty of asses in his boy band days on the side, but at the height of N’Sync’s popularity he was attached to Britney, and that had to cut into his action a little bit.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Thanks Spidergirl…just looking out…In total agreement on Britney’s skankness…I mean if her mom didn’t keep beating her with a whip and make her learn those dance moves she would be some fat trashy chick with a drug problem…divorced with a couple of kids…she of course has followed her life’s path but thanks to Mommy dearest…she has 50 million in the bank
June 27th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
I’d take Scarlett no question. Minnilo over Milano by a landslide as well.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Alba, for sure, although Scarletts a damn find runner up. Wouldn’t kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers, thats for sure. But it’s gotta be Alba– I’d take her over just about any woman on the planet.
June 27th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Scarlett no doubt. Brewster over Diaz…but Cameron used to look bangin. Maria over Britney…
Quality – Jeter
Quality and Quantity – Timberlake
Yeah, Timberlake was with Britney and Cameron for a couple minutes, but you’ve got to assume he lives like a rock star. Jeter has always been a Yankee, he seems like he wines and dines all these girls, whereas I can picture Timberlake just picking out girls backstage.
June 27th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
WarHelmut-I will give Spears and Trailer Park Co a lot of credit. They turn some singing skills and a lot determination into a nice windfall. You can’t fault someone who turns a profit in our free market economy.
June 27th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Cousins of Ron Mexico – and just picking out girls backstage is a bad thing?
June 27th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
When did Jeter date Alba? She was engaged to her co-star on Dark Angel for 3 years, then started dating Cash Warren right after that. And although I personally think Alba is much prettier than Johansson, she’s definitely a bore in the sack. She freaked out when Playboy used a picture of her in a bathing suit on the cover, remember? “Playboy objectifies women!”
Timberlake gets hotter chicks, without question!
June 27th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Jeter/Alba
http://www.askmen.com/toys/entertainment_100/117_gossip.html
June 27th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
I’m pretty sure Timberlake got to tag both Britney AND Christina Aguilera – and he took Britney’s v-card when she was supposedly the hottest thing around…
that has to trump Jeter getting to Biel and Scarlett first…
June 28th, 2007 at 12:55 am
Alba wins. Pins ‘em down and dominates.
Scarlett’s lower half is too 1950’s house wife-ish. She hasn’t seen a stair stepper in her life. Her top half could feed an army.
Biel seems like she has maintenance issues and will have to see too many stair steppers in her life. She’ll break-down and age 15 years between 30 and 35. She’ll be an impressive Cougar in 2020 though. Plus the whole 7th heaven thing was distressing.
Alba wakes up, air-dries, slips on a sun dress and is all good. She wins, period.
June 28th, 2007 at 1:49 am
Between Scarlett and Alba there is absolutely no contest. It’s all Alba, all day. Scarlett is a little whore. Alba at least has, or at least to my knowledge (maybe I’m naive), a little innocence still left to her.
Scarlett alleged f’ed Benicio Del Torro in an elevator.On a scale of skankage, that’s pretty high on the barometer.
June 28th, 2007 at 4:49 am
jeter never dated scarlett, he sat next to her at some party and the new york post then said they were dating.
June 28th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Give me Scarlett anyday…I mean seriously, how often does a pinup come with those luscious lips?
Mariah over Britney, not even close!
June 28th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I live 2 blocks from Jeters apt in manhattan. I’ve seen him on more than one occasion with some the hottest pieces of ass, none of whom are probably even celebrities. I’m gonna have to go with the east coast bias and say Jeter, by a 12th inning, bases-loaded, slow-rolling, infield single. The clutch hits that only he could get…
June 28th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Whoa whoa whoa, Biel is more or less a guy. Any “girl” that can out dead-lift you isn’t getting bonus points in my books. She’s hot, but we’re comparing her to Alba and Scarlette? That’s like comparing Greg Zaun to Ivan Rodriguez. Anyways, Alba is mint, anyone with her on their list may as well get a bronze statue at the Playboy Mansion. End of story.
June 28th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Scarletts had nice tit. I go with Abba all day, every night.
what’s a v-card?
June 28th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
No one is taking into account that Timberlake swipe Brittney’s V-card. That has to put him over the top.
June 28th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
V-card = virginity
Despite ownership of Britney’s v-card, that’s just one game. The matchup truly boils down to Scarlett or Alba, which is like having Koufax face Walter Johnson in a series-clincher.
Or Johan vs. Peavy.
June 28th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Jeter wins just because he’s not bi or a baby. Crying on Punk’d, part of a shi##y boy band, and needed fake weights for Alpha Dog….Timberlake’s a puss. I used to live in S. Cali and the only women who like that fag are stuck-up rich kids who have no imagination and like anyone who’s en vogue. Can’t stand these skinny punks in the tabloids. Jeter is a man and “the man” of the Yankees. And yes, the women he pulls, not dates, nightly are insanely hot. It’s like asking who does better, Sean Connery or Leo DeCaprio. One’s a man, Connery,who pulls any of the hottest ass anywhere he goes on the planet, the other a socially media-hyped 120 lb weakling who pulls socialite ass. Let the revolution begin! Men need to be men again!
June 28th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Did he really cry on Punk’d? A pussy, indeed.
June 28th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Game 2: Similar sounding names. Alyssa Milano is hotter than Vanessa Minnillo, so Timberlake gets that one, too.
GAME 2 IS PLANE OUT BULL @#$%. YOU REALLY NEED TO GET YOUR EYES CHECKED OUT. VANESSA MINNILLO IS SO MUCH HOTTER THEN ALYSSA MILANO.
June 28th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Jessica vs. Scarlett. Jessica is smokin’, but when even a gay guy is compelled to fell up your gorgeous rack on the red carpet you KNOW you’re the hottest! Gotta give the edge to Scarlett!
June 28th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
http://www.lara-dutta.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=random&cat=5&pos=-41
Bagging miss universe > some singer-wannabe V-card.
Jeter wins this one in the landslide
June 28th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Who cares about the girls, I want to have either of them bury the wieners in my caboose
June 28th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Come on this isn’t even a fair fight. Timberlake is talented.
June 28th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
To Cory: Why bag on Scarlett for F’in in the elevator? Sounds like you’re having a flashback to “A Few Good Men”:
You wanted to be in that elevator!!!
You needed to be in that elevator!!!
But, You couldn’t handle the elevator!!!
June 28th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
It pains me to say it…but the Miss Universe thing has to give Jeter the Edge.Personally Cameron Diaz,while hot by everyday standards doesnt rate with the Alba’s of the world…She looks like her face got hit with a frying pan cartoon style.
June 28th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
I hate the Yankees with a passion, especially Jeter. But I have to give the man a win here. Alba (barely) tops Scarlett, Brewster is much more desirable than Diaz, he got Biel first, and he dated a Miss Universe as well. The only advantage I’d give to Timberlake is my preference of Alyssa Milano over Vanessa Minnillo.
June 28th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
The question should be “who has dated hotter women, Derek Jeter, Justin Timberlake or Tom Brady?” Brady would take this one hands down. Tara Reid in her prime, Bridget Moynahan and now Gisele Bundchen (the hottest woman on earth). C’mon show a little love for the QB.
June 28th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Sure Alba is hotter… but Timberlake had Britney Spears back when she was basically the Jessica Alba of the early 2000’s..and unlike Alba, Scarlett is a legitimate actress. What can Alba do besides work out, look pretty, and take one in the face after dinner? I don’t know why this is even being asked…Timberlake is younger and when its all said and done hell prolly be porking Alba after Jeter retires.
June 28th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Jeter dated both Jessica and Scarlett… get your facts right!
June 28th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Obligatory Observation: For all subsequent posting, be on the lookout for Bill Simmons posting as GeorgeThePilgrim.
Allow me to retort: Tara Reid in her prime??? I hope you say this in jest…did Tom Brady hit this before or AFTER Carson Daly. The sloppy seconds of that d-bag for America’s golden child? Hahaha.
Bridget Moynahan is fine for an older woman, but he wasted a lot of time with that broad – we’re talking sheer volume of A+ women here, of which Jeter and Timberlake bring it.
Gisele “hottest woman on earth” Bundchen looks like Barbaro.
June 28th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
All I’ve seen on Jeter-Scarlett was one dinner date. That’s it. Is there more? Links?
June 28th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
All I’ve seen on Jeter-Scarlett was one dinner date. That’s it. Is there more? Links?
June 28th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
I dis agree with you on number 2 & 5. Vanessa is more Beautiful to me than Alyssa, but they both are not ugly. Jessica Alba is Beautiful inside & out. This one is easy because Jessica Alba is Beautiful in all pics, shows, movies, brunette, blond, & black. Maybe even as a red hed . I am not attracted to red heads. Te Ammo Alba. Keeps making great movies. Why dont they date someone not famous? Like me, I am an honest, caring, handsome, & blessed you man. I will not use them for money or things. More than words can show Alba. Have a good summer. God bless. Goodbye. Is it possible for Alba to see this? I like to golf. Lol. Love; Jon or Jonny (You pick). Sorry don’t I give out my last name on interent unless to buy or if it wont been found by a werid Jabroni or Rooty Poo. Lol. Rock Says…
June 28th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Timberlake’s a puss. He cried on Punk’d. A boy band reject. Maybe he gets play, but only because to Popper chicks, he’s vogue. Jeter is the Man. And a man. Smooth butter. He gets it, and them.
Alba vs. Johanssen? Scarlett’s cute, but Jessica’s a dreamer’s dream. Gorgeous.
June 28th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Jeter dated both Miss Universe and Miss America.
June 28th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
I think someone forgot to mention that 1) Jeter also dated Scarlett Johanssen and 2) did someone forget he also dated Miss Universe. There is no contest between Jeter and JT. Jeter is the captain of the most storied sports franchise in US history and JT is a pipsqueak phag who cried like a bitch on Punk’d and can only pick fights with paparazzi guys who are under 5′3″ and under.
June 28th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
I’m gonna have to disagree on Game 4. Jessica Biel played some volleyball with Jeter in a weird ruffled bikini. When a woman saves her power clothes and sexy gear for her new man, that means something. She was also just featured in that spread all oiled up wearing a metallic earth-toned skimp-kini, so I’m gonna have to give Game 4, ultimately, to Timberlake.
June 28th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Jeter by a mile. Justin Timberlake got his main squeeze – Britany Spears – taken from him by a back up dancer – Ouch. When Kevin Federline can take your lady, you ain’t fuc*** with Big Jeter.
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June 28th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Milano over Minnillo???
are you kidding?! Minnillo is waaay hotter and like 10 years younger too.
and it’s alba all the way
jeter wins it all for playing for playing pro baseball not ever having sung in N’SYNC
June 28th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
End of story: Mariah Carey said in an interview she doesn’t really like sex. Advantage Brittany.
June 29th, 2007 at 12:18 am
Seriously, did anynoe hear about Jeter and Miss Universe?
June 29th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Alba or Johanssen? Well it is this easy Johanssen has been nothing but a tease for her entire short career…Alba got naked in “The Sleeping Dictionary”. Alba wins just for that.
June 29th, 2007 at 1:01 am
jeter all the way….Timberlake is a fag……….he cried like a bitch on Punk’d …..
June 29th, 2007 at 1:13 am
Scarlett beats them all–but will never be “beating” any of you dudes.
June 29th, 2007 at 5:22 am
According to the New York Post Derek “dated” Scarlett a few months after he had Alba. That would make him the winner.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Timberlake has been banging Jeter behind closes doors for years, this stuff with all the chicks is just a front. Derek dons his batting helmet, and Justin gets natty
June 29th, 2007 at 11:19 am
There is even a debate about Jessica Alba and Scarlett? Jessica wins that one easily. The two guys you talked to don’t know shit.
June 29th, 2007 at 11:20 am
And yes, Jeter did date Miss Universe.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
A body double was used for Alba’s nude scenes in the Sleeping Dictionary. Alba over Scarlett but barely and Biel is so freaking close to both of them. Alba for overall hotness. Scarlett for tits and Biel for that perfect ass. Damn!
June 29th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Timberlake’s had a nice little run lately, but isn’t in the same league as jeter. He got to minillo, alba, johanssen, and beil first. had brewster, maria carey, a slew of models, and two different miss universes. Its a no contest.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Either of them hook up with Eva Mendes? If so, that one has to be the winner