NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Week 8
NFL, Pigskin Pigsplosion October 30th. 2009, 1:00pm
I hate the Jets. They talk too much. They have stupid nicknames. They aren’t that good. I’d much rather watch them lose than just about any other team. Everything about them is obnoxious.
Take for example, “Revis Island.” That sounds so damn stupid. “Sanchise” is just a lazy play of words about a guy who has never done anything except eat a hot dog on the sideline. Then there’s the “mad backer,” Bart Scott. Everything is annoying about this team.
Here’s what Scott had to say about this week’s game against the Jets - in particularly, Chad Henne.
“I want to hit him and get him out of there. That’s for anybody who touches the football, period. It’s that type of game. Write it down however you want to write it down. You don’t have to do something dirty to get somebody out of there.”
He wants to hurt Chad Henne. I’m not even sure Chad Henne can speak, so I doubt he talked any trash. I guess this comes from a few weeks back when Henne and the Dolphins beat the Jets. If you recall, Henne was incredibly decent in that game. He threw for 241 yards and Scott wants to hit him like he’s Tom Brady. (Oops, Scott and I both drew flags when I typed that.)
I mean, it’s Chad Henne. Everyone was excited about him a couple weeks ago because they thought he wasn’t completely terrible. Holy shit! He could be the next great game manager!
And what’s with the NFL scheduling some of these division games so close to each other. The Jets and Dolphins just played 3 weeks ago. Doesn’t it seem like the Packers and Vikings just played last week? OK, I guess that one’s understandable. It’s hard to differentiate Favrelatio.
Bye Week: Bengals, Chiefs, Pats, Steelers, Bucs, Redskins
No Brady, Roethlisberger or Palmer. No Josh Freeman either. Sorry. The Hazean has some awful alternatives.
Look, a pigsplosion!
We call you a fraud because you suck
Brett Favre threw the ball 50 times last week. Adrian Peterson had 18 carries. This was a 3 point game until there were less than 7 minutes left. Just let him sling the ball.
Game Manager of the Week
14-26 for 175 yards and a score. No picks. It’s so much easier to Roethlisberger a game when the other quarterback is Favring it.
Is Drew Brees Married? Seriously, is he? If he isn’t, I’ll marry him.
That’s Marisa Miller in a diamond bra. Or something. I didn’t really read the article.
Picksplosion’em
Last week: 8-5
Overall: 53-50
Denver (+4.5) over BALTIMORE
Oooh! A game where we find out if Denver is for real or not. Can you play 19 of those games in a single season?
DALLAS (-9.5) over Seattle
There are just so many other great people to hate in the NFL this year. I wonder if Tony Romo misses me?
DETROIT (-4.5) over St. Louis
The ipecac of NFL games.
Miami (+3.5) over NEW YORK JETS
We’ve seen players piss on the sideline, eat on the sideline, change clothes on the sideline. These guys are out there for 3 hours at a time. You’d think they’d just add a damn washroom on each sideline.
INDY (-11.5) over San Fran
Peyton Manning is like Uncle Kracker. He just won’t go away.
CHICAGO (-13.5) over Cleveland
It’s Brett Ratliff’s time. Come on Mankok, let the Ratliff era begin. Cleveland needs to heal.
Houston (-3.5) over BUFFALO
Go chicken wings!
New York Giants (+3.5) over PHILLY
Did you know these two cities are in mortal combat!? That’s nothing new for Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and East Rutherford, New Jersey.
SAN DIEGO (+16.5) over Oakland
This game should be close.
Jacksonville (+3.5) over TENNESSEE
Avert your eyes! It’s two more shitty teams!
GREEN BAY (-3.5) over Minnesota
This won’t be the first time Brett Favre throws a touchdown to a player on a team besides Green Bay at Lameau Field.
ARIZONA (-8.5) over Carolina
I’d hate to meet the witch doctor that Jake Delhomme pissed off.
NEW ORLEANS (-9.5) over Atlanta
So close to perfection. Can they do it on Monday!? And then the next 11 games!?
78 Responses to “NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Week 8”
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October 30th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
If the Saints lose before December, it’s this week.
/SI Curse’d
//Reggie Bush has been talking shit
///not really–but Florio seems to think so
October 30th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I wouldn’t go that far, but Scott almost got me there this week. But seriously, the rest of the country doesn’t care.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
that dog costume could be the greatest thing ever. right after marisa miller, that is.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
*Boom Oink*
October 30th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
I prefer “the castor oil of NFL games.”
October 30th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Pats game is Nov 30, technicaly that is before December. I just took a hard look at the Saints schedule and god damn is it easy. Still think they drop one or two, it’s extremely hard to run the table, but not impossible with that schedule.
/Florio is a moron.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
At 1pm on my television, I’ve got Jets/Fins and NY/Philly. At 4pm I’ve got Minny/GB. And at 8pm, I’ve got a cock sandwich from Bud Selig.
So stupid.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
so theres finally a day world series game? but on nfl sunday? LOL
October 30th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Best Marisa Miller pic ever. And, coincidentally, my Halloween costume.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Olivia Munn in a bee costume, yay!
October 30th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
shit nevermind
October 30th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
no, texans, there’s no Sunday night football because the yanks play the phillies at night. At noon, the Giants play the Eagles.
2 sets of NY / Philly. Sorry for the confusion.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
yeah i got ya
October 30th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
CRM,
I’d much rather my team talk a good game, have cool nicknames, and an overall attitude then be a generic, boring, and unappealing NFL team that no one cares about.
I agree wholeheartedly about Fave sucking balls though
October 30th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Nothing like a .500 team talking mad shit.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
If my team is good sure, if they’re the Jets its like putting rims on a shitty car.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Henne better watch out, did Bart Scott ever get in trouble for putting hot sauce on Reggie Bush’s ankle? Thug.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Nothing like a .500 team talking mad shit.
with their top interior lineman out for the year, and their most versatile player besides.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
+1 “elite” QB
October 30th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I’d much rather my team wasn’t associated with that dumbass fireman. Hate his shtick, hate that fuckin’ chant. Would rather cheer for Cleveland than the Jets.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Fixed for cthomashowell
October 30th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
If I hear Fox or CBS or ESPN refer to the Jets as Gang Green again this season, I’m going to shoot someone. Cool nicknames have to be earned by, you know, good play.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I don’t think this came out right. Mixed up a couple thoughts when I was writing it.
Either way, I still fucking hate that fireman shit.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
well that’s a given, the jets are the least rootable-for franchise in the NFL.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
conversely, id prefer if the networks called the browns “the skid marks” for the rest of the season.
seams appropriate.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Jets are 4-3 actually but whose counting + plus the actual shit talking doesn’t center around the fact that they think they are better then everyone else just that they are trying to get their teammates and fans hype for the game.
More of an opinion thing but I hate it when players say generic bullshit to the media, no fun at all
October 30th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Ok. Now I’m sick.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Like how the wildcat is a “gimmick” but a bunch of fake punting is not?
October 30th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Ben Roethlisberger is on pace to throw for 4700 yards and he’s a “game manager”. Asinine.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
So, any Browns fans here participating in the protest in 2 weeks?
October 30th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
So you’d root for the Ravens before the Jets?
October 30th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I’d root for nazi germany before rooting for the jets.
/hyperbole’d
October 30th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
We don’t compare people to Nazis unless they’re people we disagree with.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Most teams talk shit. Problem is, we only hear about it when New York or a high-profile athlete (Reggie Bush) is doing it.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Wow. Two teams coached by Lou Holtz. Imagine the odds of that!
October 30th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I hate having to be on the opposite side of the Favre hate. I love the guy now though.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Then again, you could put anyone in purple who is good and Id cheer for them
October 30th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
We don’t compare people to Nazis unless they’re people we disagree with.
Yes we do. You’re Hitler.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
No chance in hell Roethlismanager hits 4700 yards. Book it.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
if i get tix i will.
randy lerner’s response to the protest was pathetic. a fucking email? are you serious? fuck you randy lerner. just sell the team already.
id root for steelers or ravens before the jets. and i mean it.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Fake punting is a gimmick sure why not.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
he gets the browns again. he’ll get over 4,000 for sure.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
He won’t as Arians will eventually notice that Mendenhall is a capable RB and this will balance the offense.
I hope.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Are you fucking serious? Aston Villa is only 2 points off Champions League pace with a game in hand!
Oh, you meant the Browns.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
And so long as he’s cool with 17 fumbles, 12 lost.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
But…but.. I thought the Jets wouldnt run such “nonsense”
October 30th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
The fumbles have been troublesome, but I like to think that will be less frequent if/when he’s more involved. Hope I’m not kidding myself.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Nice try. Who would openly admit to being a Browns fan?
October 30th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
me, you fah go.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I have decided to not turn on my TV until after kickoff. Suck it Lerner!
October 30th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
I’d much rather my team talk a good game, have cool nicknames, and an overall attitude then be a generic, boring, and successful NFL team that everyone doesn’t hate like mine.
CRM: BEST.POST.EVER!!!
Praying Fireman Ed takes a fall and does a Christopher Reeve onto Greeny’s head
October 30th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
After a couple of “Artie” like weeks CRM storms back with a quality everyone sucks Pigsplosion. Well done sir.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
None of the nicknames you mentioned were self-applied, and Joey Porter said yesterday that he wants to put Sanchez on the sideline with an ice pack.
But hey, let’s not let reality get in the way of a brainless, utterly uninformed rant.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
CRM - Not that you need my approval but, if I’m going to break balls, I probably should let some of the writers know when I like their stuff as well. I actually like this post–and have most weeks. I just take exception to the “Ben Roethlisberger Game Manager” bullshit. And now…I guarantee I’ll see that for the remainder of the season!
October 30th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Addendum: the trash-talking is irritating, and I’m a Jets fan. Calvin Pace complaining about the “gimmicky” Wildcat after the Fins just beat his ass up and down the field was absolutely embarrassing. And Bart Scott has been mediocre for the last 4 games. Shut yer yap-hole, Chatty Cathy.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Ok, I finally achieved a long time dream of seeing a Conan O’Brien live taping yesterday, so I wasn’t here when Sparty farted his idiotic list all over the internet yesterday. I don’t even know what to say about the Montana/Rice snub, so i’ll let this do the talking:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xyyp6okkFA&feature=related
October 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Please excuse the Japanese. You know how the NFL is.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I probably should let some of the writers know when I like their stuff as well.
Who doesn’t love the Pigsplosion? It’s awesome on top of awesome.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
And another glaring omission. Observe Rice’s key block. (Also the best blocking WR ever.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8P1TzqWEgY&feature=related
October 30th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
no…that’s hines ward.
hines ward is here.
/puts hand WAY over head
anquan boldin is here
/puts hand at face level
everyone else is here.
/puts hand near knees
October 30th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Except that Rod Smith was as good or better than either. Other than that, totally.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
No, I’m pretty sure the Raiders are favored by 2 and a half touchdowns over the Chargers.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Except that Rod Smith was as good or better than either. Other than that, totally.
Good blocker for sure. Also wildly underrated throughout his career. But Hines Ward puts dudes in traction. He gets linebackers nervous about getting decleated.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
no…that’s hines ward.
I disagree.
/doesn’t feel capable of debating. Heads going to explode…
October 30th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
yea…i always forget rod smith when talking WR’s. i loved him back in the TD days. i kinda feel bad for never mentioning him when talking about great WR’s fo the90’s.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
@The412 - I’ve softened on Roethlisberger. Notice his name hasn’t been on that award the last few weeks. If Peyton Manning or Tommy Brady put up that line in a victory, they would get it too.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
this isn’t keith rivers getting blindsided…it’s ed reed getting FUCKED UP head on.
it pains me to say it, but hines is the best. i don’t want to say it, but as a football fan, i have to. there’s no other choice.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
i kinda feel bad for never mentioning him when talking about great WR’s fo the90’s.
Umm, don’t.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Hahahaha, so has spence.
Excellent
/evil Mr Burns finger tent thingy
October 30th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Stewie says the B12 sucks. I include the Fraudhorns in that assessment.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
tampa, what did you thinkmof bulls win last night? see it coming?
October 30th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Mandel’s a noted Big Televen honk. I’m sure you supported his “Iowa is the pwnzrs!” article earlier this week.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I’m surprised by the Jets hate. I thought the fanbase was breaking out the popsicles a bit earlier for “Sanchise” but, outside of Bart Scott, I can’t find anything particularly bothersome about that team.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
a bit early
I’m trying to work on a damned TPS Report and post simultaneously…
October 30th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Complete falseness, stewie just tells it like it is.
And comparing Iowa to 2002 OSU is insulting to Iowa.
/because OSU cheats
October 30th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
if you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’.
/paterno poops
//himself
October 30th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Like when he compared Matt Barkley to Joe Montana? I can appreciate that kind of straight shooter.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Joe Montana sucks, ask sparty.
/just dont ask about his source